"Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger

I just woke up from a nap so I'm trying to jump start my brain with a tortilla. That's not relevant, that's just where my life is right now. This is my favorite song to listen to when I get in that weird place where I'm feeling like I'm better than other people but also feel inferior at the same time. My baseline intelligence is higher than most people. I'm not bragging - that's just a fact. I've taken all the stupid tests, I did all the honors/gifted classes, and you know what I learned? It doesn't fucking matter in the real world if you don't have social skills. My best friend in high school used to hate that I could get straight As without even trying but I used to envy her ability to strike up conversations with other people. Let's call it a draw. I was quiet and shy in high school, but I look mean, so people just assumed I was a snob or a bitch. Later, I kind of embraced that, but that's not true either. I like people, I just don't really know how to deal with them. In fact, I got a whole degree in Psychology to figure it out. NOTE: I had a plan when I picked out this song but that's out the window now, if you couldn't tell....

Anyway, I like this song because it captures that weirdness I felt and still feel sometimes. I forget that people don't understand things immediately like I do, so I have to be really careful about making them feel...bad about it. I've learned to be patient but sometimes, I snap and I'm just like, "How do you not fucking get this? It's right in front of you." I did that yesterday to The Husband. I'm watching a novela on Netflix (because I've been feeling this urge to get in touch with my "roots"....and apparently watching Mexican telenovelas is part of that). It's a Netflix-made show called "Ingobernable" starring Kate del Castillo. The Husband asked what that word meant. And I don't know Spanish but I'm good with languages and just looking at the word, I knew it meant "ungovernable." He responded he wouldn't have guessed that. And I said something bitchy like, "Really? The words sound almost exactly the same. How do you not see that?" Apparently, this made him feel stupid (even though I didn't mean it that way) and I felt like a real asshole. Lesson re-learned - not everyone would get a near perfect score on the Artificial Language Test. I shouldn't assume people think the same way as I do, because they don't. I'm the weirdo, not everyone else. In fact, one of my coworkers told me that the other day - I'm not like anyone she's ever met. I took that as a compliment. That's what everyone wants, right? To be unique, even though no one is? ::sigh::

Back to the rant I was going to do - now much shorter since I forgot what I was gonna say - which was a rant about how great the internet is. I fucking love the internet. People know me here. They don't care that I'm researching serial killers or checking out vintage peignoir sets or watching videos of the latest performances from the Viva Las Vegas Burlesque Competition. I mean, I'm sure the government might be tracking all that shit (I'm pretty sure they are but I think they've deemed me "Mostly Harmless") and that makes me a little paranoid, but overall, the internet makes me feel less lonely. Because there's at least a couple hundred thousand people looking at the same things. And it makes my world a little smaller, a little cozier.

Favorite Verse:

Paranoia, paranoia

Everybody's coming to get me

Just say you never met me

I'm going underground with the moles digging holes

Hear the voices in my head

I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring

But if you're bored then you're boring

The agony and the irony, they're killing me

"Flagpole Sitta" Video