"Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley

First off, I am going to admit that, initially, I wasn't going to do a song for Christmas this year. Sorry to be a Scrooge but it doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I've told multiple people as much. I'm doing presents for my babies, because I love them and they deserve a reprieve from the general dreariness of this year, but everyone else can fuck off. I didn't even do gifts for my team, because half of them can't be in the office anyway (we're still doing partial telework). I haven't decorated - instead of putting up a tree, we piled all the presents on the coffee table - and, while dinner will be a little better than usual, the meal I'm planning isn't necessarily something I wouldn't make on a normal weekday. I'm not sure I even want to drive around and look at Christmas lights, which is one of my favorite things. To top it off, it's been unseasonably warm, even for Central Texas. I haven't lived anywhere that would normally have a "white christmas" since I was about 7-years-old, but even in the Southwest, it would be a little chilly out by now. So, no, it just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. And I'm not going to pretend it does, beyond what I want to do for my family.

And when those blue snowflakes start falling

That's when those blue memories start calling

You'll be doing all right

With your Christmas of white

But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

I was thinking about this song this week, though. I don't know why. Don't get me wrong - I love Elvis but I'm also in the camp that believes "All I Want For Christmas is You" is the greatest Christmas song ever made (it is - don't argue with me). However, I think I did "All I Want For Christmas is You" in a previous year and I don't like to repeat myself. It's a waste of perfectly good Internet. No, I was thinking about "Blue Christmas" because it was the first song I can remember performing in front of people. Like a lot of people - a whole elementary school cafeteria full of people! I was about 9-years-old and I had to perform it (along with the rest of my fourth grade class) for a holiday pageant. This morning, my mother texted the family group chat, declaring that she "remember[s] when Jessica sang Blue Christmas at her school concert." And it's times like this when I wonder if my thoughts are on broadcast for the whole world to hear.

I still know all the words to "Blue Christmas" and can mimic that classic Elvis twang in my sleep. But, at the heart of it, it's a sad Christmas song. It's about not feeling like it's Christmas at all because you can't be with your loved one(s), and it's a sentiment I think a lot of people understand this year. Those people who are trying to be responsible and maintain social distancing measures, at least. I will be doing the now traditional holiday Zoom call with my family. At this point, we've all become skilled at having fun, together but separately. But for someone who has "touch" as one of their primary love languages, it's a poor substitute. And while I'll probably be rehashing this rant with my therapist next week, all I can do now is accept that I'll have a blue - blue, blue, blue - Christmas. But I hope whoever reads this has/had a lovely, safe holiday. Merry Christmas.

"Blue Christmas" Video