"Hold On Forever" by Rob Thomas

This gem popped up in my Spotify Discover mix somewhere near the end of summer and I've been hearing it a lot when I'm out and about. I guess it's a favorite to play in stores, which makes sense because it sounds so chipper and makes you feel happy. At least, it makes me feel happy. And hopeful, which is when I'm at my best. Hopeless Jess is the absolute worst. True story. Anyway, apparently "Hold On Forever" was released in September....three years ago!! It came out in 2015 and I'm just now hearing it. I'm so behind. Oh well...what else is new?

As you might have guessed, I like to listen to this song when I need someone (*cough*Rob Thomas*cough*) to tell me to cheer up. Because sometimes you need someone to make you smile in spite of yourself. To get you out of your head, just for a bit. So I wonder how Spotify's algorithm figured out I'd like this song? It was probably something like, "Hey! This chick likes Matchbox 20 and dancing alone in her room (or in the driveway, after a run....which resulted in some awkward stares from the people across the street) - this song is perfect for her!" Yep - Matchbox 20 and dancing like an idiot in public - I'm basically a 20-year-old frat boy....albeit in a cuter, tinier version. I was lucky enough to see Matchbox 20 when I was in high school, at the height of their popularity. That was a really good concert - the openers were Sugar Ray and the All-American Rejects. I brought my best friend at the time, whom I'll call Rae. One weird memory I took from that night - Rae remarked that I had "rhythm" and asked why I didn't dance more. Well, in high school, it was because I didn't want to look stupid. But now - as I've said before - I'm all out of fucks to give, so I do dance more at home. I would like to go out dancing or dance at events I'm invited to, like weddings and parties. Unfortunately, The Husband doesn't like to dance so I'm SOL. The other day, I was lamenting to my team that I would like to go line dancing, but it was unlikely to happen. But I'd like to, one of these days....I like line dancing and I fucking live in Texas, so why not? I'll have to find a friend who will indulge my inner cowgirl and doesn't mind being dragged along on half-baked adventures.

Lay down all your troubles end to end

They could reach up to the stars

So many roads, you don't know where you've been

But you still know who you are

And if I seem preoccupied, I'm wondering what to do

So here's my recipe for you

First thing, we make you feel better

Next stop, we pull it all together

I'll keep you warm like a sweater

Take my hand, hold on forever

Just fall apart if you need to

I'm here and I won't leave you now

Don't look down

Hold on forever

The official video for "Hold On Forever" follows a beautiful young couple on an adventure in New York City. The song was inspired by Rob Thomas wife, Marisol Maldonado, and the couple in the video was cast to look like them. Sort of. It's a white guy with a Hispanic girlfriend - I suppose that works. Anyway, for the last couple decades, Maldonado's been fighting Lyme disease. In fact, around the time "Hold On Forever" was released, she went into surgery to have a lesion removed from her brain. As you can guess, this can take a toll on a person and their family. It's a one day at a time sort of thing, so you have to hold onto the happy moments.

"Hold On Forever"

"Raise the Dead" by Phantom Planet

So, let's talk a little bit about witchcraft basics. I know this is going to sound crazy but I've been researching this stuff since I was like 12-years-old and practicing (in earnest) off-and-on for the last 10 years. I wouldn't call myself an expert, but I'd like to think I've learned something by now. In a typical witchcraft ritual, you'll first cast a circle - there's various ways to do this but essentially you're doing it to create a protective barrier to perform your magic. You'll draw the circle, moving in a clockwise ("deosil") direction and then  invite elemental spirits into the circle (sometimes referred to as Calling the Quarters). It helps to have items that represent each element (a candle for Fire, salt or a crystal for Earth, etc) but it's not necessary. After that, you can either invoke or evoke the gods - either a particular deity/entity you work with or one that specializes in the type of magic you're doing, e.g., calling Aphrodite/Venus for a love spell. Invocation is usually when you're asking a god/entity for the power to do something yourself and evocation is generally when you're summoning a god/entity to do something for you, as far as I understand it. There's some nuances but you can google those. Finally, it's time to raise some energy.

There's many ways to raise energy - singing, dancing, chanting, having sex, rhythmic breathing (also known as pranayama in Hindu practice), meditation/visualization, animal sacrifice - whatever meets your intent for your magical working and is in line with your practice/principles. Personally, I prefer dancing with wild abandon, because it raises a lot of energy and I can do it relatively quietly. Essentially, I'll select some songs and....dance. Not a lot of technique to it. Three songs usually does the trick. Afterwards, the air feels kind of thick and, if you have pets, they'll usually be attracted to the space. I find that, if I've done it right, I'll have five yowling cats outside the door. Don't ask me why I have five cats....it was absolutely NOT my choice. Moving on...once you feel this heaviness (you might even feel like you're in a trance-like state and/or your body is vibrating), you can do your spellwork, whatever that might be. You finish up by closing the circle, which is usually the reverse of the process I described in the beginning. And that's the gist of an occult ritual.

This song is one of my favorites to dance to when I'm raising energy. It starts slow and then after the first verse, all bets are off. By the bridge, it hits a crescendo and then it tapers off towards the end. It has a good flow, I guess is what I'm trying to say. The lyrics are about a guy trying to get his friend out of a depressive episode. His friend is in this dark place (maybe even suicidal) and it seems like he can't climb out, so the singer is trying to coax him to come out and have fun with him. They'll "raise the dead," which presumably means they're going to have a wild time. In my interpretation, the Dead refers to the depressed friend and raising him means bringing his spirits up and getting him through the darkness. Or, it could be about a guy inviting someone to actually raise the dead via the practice of necromancy. I'm down for that, too. That sounds pretty fun.

The dark is plaguing our hearts

Pumping through us and collecting in our deepest parts

Well down there it's dripping like tar

And it's stuck to your arms

And it's sticking to you too long

The time is higher than high

Something lurking in your shadow that keeps trying to hide

Oh no, want it alive

To get out, to get out, to get out of your insides

Let's return to my hypothetical "Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter" TV series that I may or may not be actually working on. In the books, she's a necromancer who works for a private investigation office. She raises corpses and asks them questions to get to the bottom of unsettled matters, which may be incredibly difficult depending on how long the person has been dead. Anita wears a suit to work - because she's a professional, god damnit! In the first book, it describes her typical work night, which involves sacrificing chickens to raise energy, so her suit is usually covered in blood and dirt by the time she returns home. For the TV series, I imagined a montage of her work night - going from graveyard to graveyard, killing chickens, climbing into graves - a rhythmic dance that, in my head, is set to "Raise the Dead" by Phantom Planet. Sometimes, when I hear songs, I see stories - and that's what I see when I hear this song. 

Cover of Anita Blake Comic Book

Phantom Planet is a favorite of mine. True to form, I discovered them because I thought the drummer was hot. That drummer, my friends, was Wes Anderson darling Jason Schwartzman. 

C'mon....Look at that face!

He left the band in 2003 but Phantom Planet still kicks ass. And that's pretty much how I find all my favorite bands. Sorry, not sorry. Video below.

"Raise the Dead" Video

Bonfire Night!

Today happens to be May 1st and, as I'll have you know, it happens to be my favorite of all the pagan festivals.  It celebrates the return of the Sun and the rejuvenation of life all over the planet. Bealtaine (pronounced byol-tinnuh -- it's Gaelic and, weirdly enough, I can actually sort of see where they get that pronunciation) is an ancient fertility ritual that falls every year on May 1st or when the sun is at 15 degrees Taurus.  That last part only matters if you have any fucking clue how to read astrological tables--which I don't.  Oh, and this only applies in the Northern Hemisphere--if you live in Australia, you'd be trick-or-treating.  Traditionally--or, at least, according to the Internet--this Sabbat is celebrated by dancing naked around a fire and then running off and having sex.  Unfortunately, the  latter option is an impossibility for me (what with The Boyfriend being 310 miles away and all) and dancing naked around a bonfire by yourself is just plain sad.  That doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good heathen dancing circle every once in a while -- just call me your friendly neighborhood heathen sun-worshipper!  Anyway, as a special treat, I've composed a short list of songs that make me want to dance like a wild woman, preferrably around a blazing fire, clothing optional mais bien sur.  In the meantime, I'll be a good girl and celebrate in rather tame fashion by planting an herb garden and some flowers and applying tons of sunblock because no one is happier than me that the good running weather is back!

5.  "Eyes Like Yours (Ojos Asi)" by Shakira -- I love Middle-Eastern influence in music and during the bridge of this song -- in both Spanish and English versions -- Shakira busts out in Arabic chants.  And Arabic chants are fuckin' great for Crazy-Girl-Dancing-Alone-In-Her-Room time.  I'm posting the English version but the Spanish version is easily searchable on Youtube.

4. "Shake It Out" by Florence + the Machine -- Aside from this being my cure for a crappy day, this song just wants to make you move and feel happy.  I challenge you to listen to this song and not find yourself flailing about wildly -- dare I say, in the throes of ecstasy --to the drumbeats and tambourine jingling.  And if you succeed, it is fairly possible that you don't have a soul.

If Real Life were a Music Video....Ed. 1

I was at the supermarket today, buying Cream of Mushroom soup because my mom has a weird hankering for the Cream of Mushroom Chicken on the back of the can, when nostalgia wafted in through the sound system.  That's right, my friends -- The Macarena was playing in Food City.  To make matters worse, I couldn't shake the insane notion that everyone in the store was going to drop everything and start dancing, which -- I have to admit -- would be f*cking awesome.  Just for reference, I have disturbingly good visualization skills, so in my head, I could literally see the cashiers shaking their hips.  Suddenly, everyone was wearing neon spandex outfits, disco balls dropped down from the ceiling, and the linoleum tiles lit up every time I moved!  It was amazing! -- and I had to try extremely hard to keep from laughing.

Are instructions really necessary?

Of course, that isn't actually what occurred....but, somewhere, deep inside, I believe it could've happened that way.  All I needed to do was start it -- to be the catalyst, so to speak.  In theory, if I had just started doing The Macarena right there in the soup aisle, everyone would join me and then, it wouldn't just be an ordinary run to Food City.  No -- it would be a party!  On the other hand, I could start dancing The Macarena and people would give me funny looks which would lead to me immediately ceasing all movement and scuttling away like Dr. Zoidberg.  Perhaps that's the more realistic scenario, but I prefer my outrageous version to boring old reality anyway. 

The Macarena can't really be that terrible, right?  I mean, the bitches from Beauxbatons (see Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire) adopted it into a sort of cheer, so it must have its merits.  I remember when that was the biggest thing in 1996 and--being the coolest muthafuckas going into 4th grade--my friends and I taught a bunch of 5-year-olds how to do the moves.  Looking back, that definitely belongs in the Questionable Life Choices pile but it was exciting at the time.  And -- be honest -- you know you're going to jump in line when The Macarena is played at a wedding or a party because it's kind of like the Latin Hokey Pokey....it's fun because dancing is fun, anyone can do the dance moves, and it's really hard to f*ck it up.  Sure, to the aliens, it might look like a bunch of semi-intelligent humanoids flinging their arms around all willy-nilly, but to everyone else, it just looks like a hella good time....And I. Want. In.