"Name" by The Goo Goo Dolls

As I've mentioned many times before, I use music to cope with a lot of things. I allow it to shape my emotional landscape, changing it as it needs to, letting the lyrics and notes seep into my soul - hopefully to transform it into something even more beautiful. I listen to NF and My Chemical Romance to sort out my inner rage issues and form a deeper understanding of how the more unfortunate times in my life have made me the person I am. I listen to Hanson and the Spice Girls to get in touch with my Inner Child and remember the joy I shared with old friends. To honor the little girl I used to be. When I've had a rough day at work, I listen to Spotify's "This is Taylor Swift" playlist to cheer me up....and sometimes to put me in the right mindset on the commute to work - a commute I miss having because it was a slow 20 minutes that let me sit with myself for a moment and just be. Taylor Swift has a song for every kind of heartache - more on that later in Cancer season. Lately, the Universe has been telling me to just be still - something I'm not very good at, most of the time. I'm the type of person who likes to fill my day with projects and people, working and learning. Constantly keeping my mind going. Meditation has helped with that. So has waking up in the middle of the night and staring at the ceiling fan, an impromptu form of meditation in its own right.

And even though the moment passed me by

I still can't turn away

'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose

Got tossed along the way

And letters that you never meant to send

Get lost or thrown away

"Name" is a song that provides me that "be still" energy and just accept the thoughts that float in. The lyrics are rather philosophical and pensive. Because the lyrics can be vague, I looked up the song meaning. Johnny Rzeznik wrote it about his past - his parents both died when he was young and his father was an alcoholic. In it, he reflects on his journey - the people he is singing to are his older sisters, who raised him. The feeling behind it is one of immense gratitude of being able to experience someone in life, regardless of how things ended up. The video depicts a bus of people, all traveling along on their own journey. Together, for a time. I know - super deep.

I think about you all the time

But I don't need the same

It's lonely where you are, come back down

And I won't tell 'em your name

I'm still pondering over what my birthday song will be this year. I don't want to use my old standby, because this is an important birthday that marks the start of an important year in my life. I'll talk more about why I believe this. There's more to it than the eclipse falling a day before my birthday, even though the energy this week has been especially intense, even for eclipse season. There's a lot happening right now - astrologically, politically, globally, spiritually - it can be hard to know how to unpack it all. If we even can. But I'm trying my best. I don't have much more to say about "Name" - it's one of my favorite songs and it speaks to me. There isn't much more to it than that.

"Name" Video