"Remember Me" from "Coco"

Today is Dia de los Muertos, which is celebrated by people of Mexican heritage as a way to honor the Dead and guide them on their spiritual journey. Celebrations usually start on Halloween and culminates on All Souls' Day (Nov 2), a Catholic day of remembrance for all the souls in Purgatory. Hopefully, that includes mine. Ever since I learned about Purgatory in catechism, I assumed that's where we already are. Just waiting to die, be judged, and sent to wherever we deserve to be - Heaven or Hell, anything is better than the waiting. It's funny, though, because I believe in reincarnation. It doesn't make sense when I think of it - if this is Purgatorio, why would I want to come back? I suppose I would if I had unfinished business, but I'm still hoping I can clear all that up in this lifetime.

I am of Mexican heritage but my family never really celebrated Dia de Muertos, not fully anyway. Not with Aztec Marigolds and calaveras. But my grandma does have her ofrenda, though we didn't know that's what it was when I was growing up. I just assumed she liked having pictures of her loved ones around. When Los Alamos caught on fire in 2011, my grandparents had to evacuate and they didn't have enough time to get her pictures down. Luckily, their house didn't catch fire but it was badly smoke damaged. When they were doing repairs on the house, you could see the outlines of the frames on the wallpaper. It was kind of ghostly, like a reminder of the memories she could've lost. I know they're just pictures, but they're all we have of our loved ones sometimes. Our minds can forget, but film is (almost) forever. And, while looking at a photograph, the memories come back like they were never gone - and with them, everything we felt during that time in our lives.

I watched "Coco" yesterday with my son. I think I was just looking for an acceptable excuse to cry. And cry I did because - damn it - that movie is so unexpectedly sad. When I first saw it in theaters, I was unprepared but I should've known better. When I was younger, I never used to cry at the movies. But I'm older now and a couple decades of heartbreak and disappointment have worked their terrible magic, I guess, and now...I can't help it. I have a good memory, too. I've always envied people with shitty memories - they are unburdened by the lyrics of a thousand songs and can watch movies based on books without focusing on every wrong detail. They say Cancers forgive, but never forget. I wonder if you can every truly forgive if you can't forget. I'm not sure you can. Anyway, I've been crying a lot lately but it's my own fault.

Remember me

Though I have to say goodbye

Remember me

Don't let it make you cry

For even if I'm far away, I hold you in my heart

I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart

Remember me

Though I have to travel far

Remember me

Each time you hear a sad guitar

Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be

Until you're in my arms again

Remember me

Today, we're supposed to celebrate our Honored Dead, so here's who I'm thinking about tonight. My Uncle Danny, who used to take me and my little sister to his softball games during the summer - I didn't get to go to his funeral and, even though it wasn't my fault, I still feel guilty. My Aunt LeAnn, who died around this time last year and was one of the most joyful people I've ever known. My Grandma Anna and Grandpa Rosario, who taught me to love opera and be proud of my Italian heritage. And, finally, my beloved puppy, Gwen, who was the best dog that ever lived and, without whom, I don't think I would've survived my teenage years. I'm going to wrap this up now, because my heart hurts. So much so, that I kind of wish I didn't have one.

I'm including two versions of the song. The lullaby, which will probably make you cry, and the modern version sung by Miguel, which includes the Spanish translation sung by Natalia Lafourcade. Happy November!

"Remember Me (Lullaby)"

"Remember Me (Miguel Version)"

"I See the Light" as sung by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi

I've been trying my best to avoid Disney movie songs this month, even though it would be easier. However, I'm feeling a little sentimental and romantic today, so I watched "Tangled" with my son this morning. I think it's a beautiful movie and the changes they made to the story of Rapunzel enhanced it and made it better, in my opinion. The scene where they sing "I See the Light" is pretty amazing. When all the lanterns are released into the sky is one of those feats of 3D animation that leaves you in awe - another good example is when Miguel first enters the Land of the Dead in "Coco." So much work goes into just one single frame, but when a kid sees it, all they see is the beauty of it all. The lights, the reflection on the water, the exact color of the sky at twilight. To quote Professor Slughorn, it is "beautiful magic, wondrous to behold."

Rapunzel is one of those classic stories I remember my dad reading to us when I was little. Laying on the bed, listening to his voice while looking at the illustrations in our copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales. It's a little different from the story in "Tangled." Rapunzel's parents are not royalty, but a simple farmer and his wife. And the wife had a killer craving for cabbages while she was pregnant, so much so that her loving husband stole cabbages from a witch's garden. When the witch catches him, he begs for mercy and they make a deal that he can take as much cabbage as he wants. But, in return, the witch will take the baby when it is born and raise it as her own. Because the girl is so beautiful when she reaches her teen years, the witch locks her up in a tower with no stairs and no door, instead using Rapunzel's long golden hair as a ladder.

One day, a prince hears Rapunzel singing and falls in love. She draws him up with her hair and they form a plan - the prince will bring strips of fabric with each visit so that Rapunzel can weave a real ladder. Eventually, the witch finds out and cuts Rapunzel's hair. In some versions of the story, she finds out because Rapunzel is visibly pregnant; in others, Rapunzel lets slip that the prince has been visiting her. However the witch finds out, she casts Rapunzel out into the wilderness and the next time the prince visits, the witch lures him in with Rapunzel's severed hair and blinds him. The prince wanders the world, blind, until he hears Rapunzel's voice again. He falls into her arms and her tears restore his sight. Afterwards, they live together in the cabin Rapunzel has built, with the twins that she bore him after she was cast out of the tower.

All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go

The lyrics for this song are sweet. It's a duet where Rapunzel and Eugene are singing about how limited their worldview was until they met each other. Rapunzel, though she had books and paints and everything she could want, was isolated and trapped. Eugene, who has all the freedom he could've ever wanted, was chasing riches because he felt he lacked something. But together, they feel like they complete each other. Her unending kindness and hopefulness warms his heart, and his sureness and level-headed outlook makes her feel safe and secure. And it makes them want to be better for each other. I told you I was feeling sentimental.

Let's go back to the lantern thing. I love the lanterns - I totally understand why Rapunzel wanted to see them. For my hypothetical wedding, instead of rice or bubbles, I wanted to do lanterns. Because I wanted to have an evening wedding. I thought it was romantic, to get married under the stars. I try not to think of that hypothetical wedding, because I know it's never going to happen. But the lantern thing, I think that would be a really beautiful, special thing to do for a wedding. For Chinese New Year, there's a Lantern Festival on the last night and in some East Asian countries, they do big send-offs of floating lanterns to celebrate. That's something I would really like to see some day. For today's video, I'm featuring the scene from the movie.

"I See the Light" Scene

"As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie (Girl in a Coma cover)

I love this cover of "As the World Falls Down." I already loved the original but Nina Garcia's voice makes it more beautiful somehow. Girl in a Coma (GiaC) have given it a harder, rock edge, too, that makes it seem almost more heavy-hearted. I've been feeling that way lately...just a little bit hollow, so I've been trying to do more things that make me happy. Like watching Meg Ryan movies and dancing with my son to my favorite songs. This - in case you're wondering - is one of my favorite songs. From one of my favorite movies. Written and sung by one of my favorite artists.

David Bowie was my first celebrity crush. Before Jonathan Taylor Thomas, before Elijah Wood, before Leo...there was Jareth, the Goblin King. True story - after I had my son, I did say the words. "I wish the Goblin King would take you away right now." Not because I wanted him to go away but just to see what would happen. To my chagrin, David Bowie did NOT, in fact, show up. Kind of disappointing but I'm over it. I told you - my imagination gets away from me sometimes. Personally, had I been Sarah in "Labyrinth," I probably would've stayed in that bubble dancing with David Bowie for eternity. It wouldn't have been as good a story, but I'd still be having a great time.

As the pain sweeps through,

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all,

But I'll be there for you

As the world falls down

I consider "Labyrinth" one of the great fairy tales written in the modern era. It's not based on a book or an existing story - it's a wholly original creation of the late genius, Jim Henson. But it follows all the tropes. Beautiful girl, unhappy with life, relies on fantasy to get through tough times. Frustrated with her circumstances, she offers her baby brother up to the Goblin King and, to her surprise, the Goblin King obliges. Realizing she's made a terrible, selfish, irresponsible mistake, she travels into a fantastical world to save the baby. Along the way, she meets a diverse cast of characters and goes on wild adventures. In the end, she barely saves her baby brother in time and learns an important lesson about being happy with the life she has. And all this happens to the sounds of one of the best soundtracks ever created. I would say this soundtrack shaped a lot of my musical tastes - "Underground" is patently wonderful and uplifting. And if you don't find yourself dancing to "Magic Dance," you most definitely don't have a soul.

I'm including the GiaC version and the original, for comparison. The original is considerably longer. The GiaC version cuts out a lot of the fluffy repetition at the end of the original, which - you'll be surprised to know - I don't mind. I actually prefer it. GiaC has an entire album of covers, called "Adventures in Coverland," which I think is amazing and would highly recommend. Besides "As the World Falls Down," my favorites from the album are "As My Guitar Gently Weeps" and "Walkin' After Midnight," the latter of which is my go-to song for soothing my little boy.

Girl in a Coma Version

David Bowie Version

"Castle" by Halsey

As I mentioned yesterday, I've been spending a lot of time in the dark and twisty feels. For me, those feels always inevitably devolve into anger. Feeling angry is always better than feeling empty. I'm a very passionate person and also one that feels like you have to do something if you're feeling down. I've never been one of those people who mopes. In fact, that kind of annoys me. If you're feeling bad, do something about it. Have an adventure, get a massage, create something beautiful - anything is better than doing nothing. And I know anger is not the same thing as passion but it's a strong motivator to get you to do something your passionate about or pursue a goal/dream that, otherwise, you wouldn't. The science behind that - Anger is triggered in your hippocampus. Emotions triggered in this region of the brain - anger, lust, fear - are instinctual and not always logical. As such, you don't think too much about your actions in the heat of the moment, you just do what feels right. Given two seconds of thought, though, your cerebellum has time to catch up and you can make a more logical choice about what to do with those feelings, but that doesn't mean they aren't as potent anymore. Quite the opposite - now, you can harness them to do what needs to be done. Okay, here comes the woo-woo stuff, in epic rant form.

Halsey in the official "Castle" Video

Lately, I've been noticing how draining being around certain people can be and my gut reaction is to turn that negativity into anger. I'm rather empathic, so I tend to take on others' energy, or let people siphon off mine, if I don't do something to protect myself. And I'm not very good at doing protection magic. I ground and clear every day, but this doesn't have the same effect as actually doing good protection magic. I'll start off the day all bright and shiny but by the end, I'll be utterly depleted unless I do something that makes me happy - like looking at funny memes on Twitter, listening to music, or escaping for a few minutes to take a walk outside. I have an amethyst necklace that I wear some days (amethyst was used for protection talismans back in the olden days), which helps, but it doesn't go with everything. Silly reason, I know. I should probably get a ring. No one notices if a ring doesn't match your outfit. Anyway, I let people who don't care anything about me take away my inner peace and strength, and I shouldn't. Harnessing the anger makes me feel more powerful, because without, I'm weak. And I guess that's how I protect myself.

There's a couple of songs Halsey wrote that are amazing to listen to when I want to feel this power. One is absolutely perfect for the October theme, so you'll get that in a few weeks. The other one is "Castle." The lyrics are basically saying that she's tired of being weak, tired of people taking advantage of her, so she's going to take what she wants. She's all out of fucks to give and if people think she's cold and cruel, she's going to be cold and cruel. I've been getting to that point and I have these flashes, this feeling that I'd burn the world down if I could. Sometimes, I think I probably could, if I concentrated hard enough. It's kind of scary but also intoxicating. I told you - being angry is better than the alternative, which is to be defeated. But don't worry - I would be a wise and just Queen once I've rebuilt everything from the ashes.

Oh, all these minutes passing, sick of feeling used

If you wanna break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised

Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it

"Castle" was used in the promos for "The Huntsman: Winter's War." "The Huntsman" is the sequel/prequel to "Snow White & the Huntsman" which, in my opinion, wasn't the greatest movie. Don't get me wrong - I love me some twisted fairytales, especially when it's a retelling of Snow White. However, as pretty as Kristen Stewart is, her acting style annoys me. I don't know how you can act without showing emotion, without being animated. Charlize Theron was perfectly cast as the Wicked Queen, to the point where I was hoping she'd win in the end. And, of course, Chris Hemsworth is beautiful and, as such, I didn't mind watching his portrayal as the Huntsman. I haven't seen "The Huntsman" yet, mostly because the first movie was pretty meh. However, the trailers made it seem interesting. There's a lot more Charlize Theron - which was probably a good plot choice - and they also added Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt, both of whom are very talented. I think Emily Blunt is supposed to be The Ice Queen (like Elsa in "Frozen") and Jessica Chastain was another Huntsman and Chris Hemsworth love interest. There is probably a love triangle or quadrangle, but as I've said, I haven't seen it so that's just wild supposition on my part. (Note: I just read the plot summary - that is not what happens at all.) It might be worth watching once, just to say I did. There was an official video but it shortens the song by nearly two minutes. I really hate when they do that - if it was meant to be two minutes shorter, than the album version would be two minutes shorter. Instead, I'm including the Vevo video from the album release. Happy Saturday...Enjoy!

"Castle" Video

"That's How You Know" as sung by Amy Adams

The last couple of posts were kind of heavy, so let's start off this week a little lighter. Because it's been raining all day but I'm still in a pretty good mood. The movie "Enchanted" is a parody of the classic Disney fairy tale and romantic comedies in general. For those who haven't seen it, the plot centers around a classic animated princess named Giselle (played by the eternally lovely Amy Adams) who is thrust from her fairy tale world into the "real world," which is always invariably synonymous with New York City. A man and his daughter - who believes wholeheartedly in the magic of fairy tale romance - take pity on her and invite her into their apartment, because they're convinced she's just a beautiful crazy person that needs help. As a beautiful crazy person myself, I intensely relate to this situation and hope someone takes pity on me if I get lost in some new city (which will most likely happen one day). Anyway, crazy antics ensue - people start bursting into song, she turns their curtains into amazing dresses, and other fairy tale characters come into the picture, including Prince Charming intent on rescuing Giselle. But, of course, the cynical father falls head over heels for her, despite being engaged to another woman (played by the always amazing Idina Menzel). In the end, the Evil Stepmother/Sorceress is subdued, Giselle marries the father, Idina goes back to the fairy tale world with Prince Charming and everyone gets their Happy Ending. Well, except for the Evil Stepmother, but she was never going to get one anyway. In summation, it's a light-hearted romance with some really cute, tongue-in-cheek songs.

Amy Adam's in "Enchanted"

During "That's How You Know," the cynical divorce lawyer/father - Robert - is upset after a big fight with his fiance, Nancy (Idina Menzel), after she finds Giselle in his apartment. Giselle uses this song to convince Robert to send her flowers and apologize to make up for it, even though he's not big on the whole cheesy romance thing. The scene is pretty funny, because Amy Adams starts singing and Patrick Dempsey is like, "What the fuck is happening?!" and tries to get her to stop. And that's when the Jamaican steel drum band starts up....magically! Then everyone is singing and dancing and having a grand old time. I have often wished this would happen to me, that I would start singing and - Suddenly! - I'm leading a whole army of people in a musical number. Just one of the things a beautiful crazy person imagines while she's walking down the street. Towards the end, Giselle makes a wreath of yellow flowers and gives them to a bunch of doves to deliver to Nancy, to which Robert understandably says "Are you crazy? They're birds!" But, at the end of the song, he gets a call from Nancy - she's happy and all is forgiven. There's your relationship tip of the day, fellas - have a flock of birds deliver a bouquet of roses to your beloved when you've fucked up. Or give her chocolate - that works, too.

Well, does he leave a little note to tell you

You are on his mind?

Send you yellow flowers when the sky is gray? 

Hey!

He'll find a new way to show you

A little bit everyday

That's how you know

That's how you know he is your love

Some girls don't like this shit....but I do. Kind of wish The Husband would do more of it....or do it at all. He used to tell me watching movies like "Enchanted" (and "Sleepless in Seattle," which we watched on Amazon Prime this weekend) gave me unrealistic expectations. To an extent, he's definitely right. But I don't expect flowers every day...just on my birthday would be kind of nice. Oh well. I'm also the kind of girl who would give a guy a chance if he used a cheesy pickup line...if I thought it was really clever. My favorite is when a guy trips and falls while he's walking and then turns to whatever girl is there and says, "You're the only girl I've ever fallen for." ::swoon:: There are some other good ones out there on the internet - like "Am I dead? Because I'm pretty sure you're an angel!" or "If you were a library book, I'd check you out." It takes a lot of guts to sound this dorky and I appreciate that. But, understandably, it's hard to figure out which girls will think it's cute and which girls will give you a Death Stare. However, if a girl breaks out into random song, wondering if she'll like your cheesy pickup line is probably the least of your worries. Because, without a doubt, she has a Handsome Prince or an Evil Sorcerer following close behind and that's a level of shit most people would rather not deal with on a Monday.

The video is the aforementioned musical number. Because the expressions on Patrick Dempsey's face are half the fun. It also has the lyrics on the bottom, if you're inclined to sing along.

"That's How You Know" Video

"Crystal" by Stevie Nicks

One of my favorite movies is "Practical Magic," for many reasons - I'll just name a few. One, it's about witches and I love everything about witches. And two, although there are many love stories within the plot, the chief love story is about the bond between sisters - Sally (Sandra Bullock) and Gillian (Nicole Kidman). Being the middle of a trio of sisters, I know that bond well - there are no other people in this world that understand better what I went through during my childhood because they went through it, too. Anyway, this song - "Crystal" by Stevie Nicks - starts playing during my favorite scene. Sally, who had just seen a desperate woman kill a dove because she wanted a man to love her again, performs a love spell called Amas Veritas to draw her true love to her. She makes the specifications very specific and almost unlikely, such as having two different eye colors (heterochromia iridum). When Gillian remarks, "I thought you never wanted to fall in love?" Sally replies, "That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist. If he doesn't exist, I won't die of a broken heart." Oh dear...I remember when I used to be that young and cynical.

I did a spell like this when I was a teenager. When I was younger, I knew that the man I was supposed to marry was tall and thin, with dark hair, glasses, and facial hair. I added hazel green eyes later but, in general, that's what I looked for. My best friend in high school used to make fun of me for having such a specific "type," but that's what I saw when I envisioned the hypothetical groom at my wedding. Everything else was fuzzy (I wasn't the type to plan my own wedding as a kid) but I knew those things for certain. And I did end up marrying a guy who was tall and thin, with dark hair, glasses, and a beard. No hazel green eyes, but I have a soft spot for brown eyes, too. It wasn't all physical - there were personality traits, like Sally had in her spell. Like being ambitious but also understanding how important family is. Letting me taste his food if we got different things at a restaurant (the Husband actually hates this so I've stopped asking). Being able to laugh at himself. Being an avid reader (not the Husband). Intrigued by creepy/paranormal/metaphysical nonsense (also not the Husband, an avowed Atheist). Et cetera, et cetera. I can't remember everything - the list was pretty long. I was a fucking teenager - I had pretty high standards, most of which ended up not being deal-breakers if a guy didn't meet them. Because Dream Men/Women are hard to find, so you have to make exceptions if you don't want to spend the rest of your life alone.

I got a lot of other crazy ideas from this movie, besides the whole "true love" spell thing. Of course, I would love to be the town witch who lives in a creepy but beautiful house by the sea - attached greenhouse/solarium included. Then, there was this idea that someone could fall in love with me just by reading something I wrote. In fact, the hypothetical Dream Man mentioned above wanted to read everything I wrote - including that re-imagined Snow White screenplay I wrote when I was 14 (which wasn't as good as I thought it was). This scenario happens in the movie. Sally writes a letter to Gillian that ends up in the hands of a US Marshall hunting down Gillian's ex-boyfriend, Jimmy Angelo. Coincidentally, the US Marshall - Gary Hallett - also fits the description exactly of the man in the love spell Sally did when she was 12 years old, which she had completely forgotten at this point because she was living her life, like a normal person would. But that's what happens sometimes. You're going about your life, perfectly fine in your own little world and then - Bam! - the Universe throws a curveball (like your sister's undead ex-boyfriend) at you. But it all works out in the end. Well, at least in the movies, it does.

As for the song - Stevie asks us if we trust what our heart is telling us. I mean really trust it? Like you know what it's telling you is true without any proof. And if we do know that it's true, do we listen and follow what it's telling us? Stevie wrote "Crystal" as she began yearning for more independence and searching for growth in her life. It also speaks of the loyalty her former partner/lover, Lindsey Buckingham, had for her early in their music career. Eventually, they broke up - one of the "most passionate breakups" in musical history, by all accounts. Anyway, long story short, Stevie Nicks listened to what her heart was saying, followed where it led, and it opened her up to a world of possibilities.

Do you always trust your first initial feeling

Special knowledge holds truth bears believing

I turned around

And the water was closing all around

Like a glove

Like the love that had finally, finally found me

Then I knew

In the crystalline knowledge of you

Drove me through the mountains

Through the crystal-like clear water fountain

Drove me like a magnet

To the sea

So....Do I always trust my intuition? Yes, usually - but I don't always follow it. Sometimes you just can't, even though you want to. Sure, you can affect change by making different choices and I'm a big proponent of being Masters of our own Fate. But I learned a long time ago that you can't force things, especially if it's the wrong time. For example, my husband and I had been criss-crossing paths for a long time before we met. I used to feel sad that we could've met earlier and we didn't. I don't now. We met when we were supposed to meet and I accept that's how the Universe works. Other times, I've acted on my intuition impulsively, with almost reckless regard for the consequences, and things worked out, like when I quit my job and moved to San Antonio. I'm almost certain that intuition can't steer you wrong, that it will tell you when it's right to act on that feeling. You just have to listen. I've instinctively believed all this hippie-dippy bullshit from a young age, but it isn't until recently that I accepted and trusted it. Life does that to you. Some people figure it out earlier than others and some never do. I wonder what might've happened if I had come to this conclusion earlier but that's a dangerous road to walk down. However, I've learned that all roads seem to lead to Rome - so even if you don't follow your intuition now, somehow, you'll get to where it's trying to lead you. Okay, I'm done with the "woo-woo" for today.

"Crystal" Video

Song du Jour: "Beelzeboss" by Tenacious D

If you met me, you probably wouldn't peg me as the type of person who listens to Tenacious D. But you'd be wrong. I happen to love Tenacious D...and I also actually enjoyed watching "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny." Sure, it has its ridiculous moments but it's a pretty decent story and the soundtrack is pretty great. I was picking my son up from the daycare yesterday when "Beelzeboss" came on and I remembered that I know all the fucking words to this song. Probably because it's pretty vulgar and that's the best kind of music to blast at a red light. If you didn't know, "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny" is a musical where Tenacious D [i.e., Kage (Kyle Gass) and Jables (Jack Black)] go on this epic journey to find this pick that will make whoever so uses it a rock god. A noble quest, in my opinion. When they finally find it, they start fighting over who gets to use it first. During the argument, the pick ends up broken and on the floor, which is how Satan gets it and uses to become whole again. Thus begins "Beelzeboss," or the best song in the whole fucking movie.

Obviously, Satan being Satan, he's going to take Kage and Jables back to hell, so they challenge him to a rock-off to spare their lives, which he cannot refuse because "rules." Now, I forgot to mention this, but Dave Grohl - Dave fucking Grohl! - is Satan. They're doomed....so doomed. It's pretty obvious in the song that they do not win the rock-off. Ultimately, they have to break off a piece of Satan and like curse him or something....long story short, they get to live. And Satan pays their rent. Because "rules."

Ta da! Now, you probably know more about the plot of "The Pick of Destiny" than you ever wanted to know! You'll thank me later, I know it. It's a pretty fun movie once you get past the awesomely bad-ness of it all but I'll let you judge for yourself. The video below is just a fan video made with Legos....because, you know, copyright law.