December Theme: My Favorite Things, Rapid-Fire Edition

I'm ready for this year to be over. As far as I'm concerned, 2020 started today, around the time Jupiter slid into Capricorn (which was at approximately 12:30pm EST, according to the Internet). I walked into work this morning and told my team that we're sprinting until the finish line, because I have a lot I'll be trying to build next year and I'm ready to get started. Jupiter will be transiting my 8th House, emphasizing the themes of major transformation, inheritance, and the occult. And I'll be turning 33, which we all know is a super important birthday and a 10th House profection year. And, if I really want to go down the rabbit hole into numerology, it's going to be an 8 year for me, which are usually good years for people. I've been irrationally optimistic about 2020, like if we could just end this decade, everything will be okay. Luckily, other people on Twitter have been feeling the same energy, so I feel a little less crazy. Still crazy, just not as much as usual.

I've been thinking back on how much I've changed this past year (this past decade, really), but it didn't hit me until the husband and I started re-watching "Parks & Rec." I don't usually re-watch anything but this is the third time I've watched "Parks & Rec." It's just that funny. The characters are also really likable, in spite of their very obvious flaws. I see a lot of myself in Leslie Knope - her desire to succeed and contagious unrelenting hopefulness that often borders on delusion. I also see myself in April Ludgate - trying hard to maintain her cool kid image even though she secretly loves her job and coworkers. But the character that has really hit me hard this time around has been Ann Perkins. It has been physically painful to watch her lately, especially during Season 1, because she's been mirroring an aspect I really don't like about myself. To some critics, Ann was a plot device, an unnecessary character, the best friend Leslie badly needed but who could've been filled by literally any other character. But part of the purpose of "Parks & Rec" was to show the range of femininity - in both men and women - and one of the more unfortunate aspects is who Ann was in the beginning of the show. She's an unfailingly kind and nurturing person but she interpreted these good qualities as being a doormat in the beginning. It seemed like she had given up on living a fulfilling life. Ann meeting Leslie was the spark that made them both want something better for their lives. Their development as people gets kickstarted and we watch them both grow as their friendship continues until they both get their happy endings. I love this show. And, in my opinion, that's the only reason to re-watch or re-read anything - because you haven't gotten all the lessons out of it yet. I still have some more lessons to learn from "Parks & Rec."

Last December, the theme was "A Few of My Favorite Things" - I've decided to keep up the tradition, because this year deserves a good wrap-up. Especially since we're making a switch next month to a new project for this blog. This month, I'll feature some of my favorite songs that helped me get through this year - songs I discovered, songs that came out this year, and definitely some songs I played on repeat way too much. You may have noticed I'm calling this a "rapid-fire" edition. That is because I will be challenging myself to post at least one song a day this month. I already know some days will be harder than others - this upcoming Saturday, for example (because "back on my bullshit" for me means getting too embroiled in event planning for my work) - so I'm going to set some expectations:

Not every day is going to be a rant.

I know. I know. It's very sad but I don't have that much writing time to spare. Don't fret - Some days will definitely have rants. Long, tortuous rants that incorporate every stray thought I've had all week. Other days (most days), I may just leave the music to speak for itself. Sometimes it's better that way.

I'm going to end with the following panel from "Heart & Brain." Something to remember while we push through this last month of the decade.

November Theme: "Visualizations"

For November, because I think I'm so fucking hilarious, I've decided to go over my thoughts on music videos some popular songs. As I've said before, music is often part of an artist's shadow work and healing. Never is this more clear than when they set their songs to a visual interpretation. I love music videos. I'm one of those weirdos who was up at 3am watching VH1's "Pop Up Video," because I enjoyed reading the little blurbs and tidbits about the song meanings and what was happening in society at the time the video was created. I have an addiction to soaking up knowledge, no matter how mundane and trivial it seems to other people. It all feels magical to me. Not that anyone cares, but I am three beers in. Also, side note, Fireball whiskey tastes surprisingly good when mixed with eggnog. I fucking love Yule.

As much as I love her, I'm going to limit myself to one Taylor Swift song this month. I will make no such promise for December, because that is Sagittarius season and you can't limit those motherfuckers. It's one of my favorite thing about Sagittarius placements. But Taylor Swift is a genuine genius when it comes to music videos. She's one of those rare artists who has both the vision and the sound that translates into something real in the world that she evolved in. It's been close to 15 years since she became a household name. Believe me - that doesn't happen unless a person has something special about them. Call it what you want. Talent. Vision. Soul. It's rare. And most people never get a chance to experience it up close, let alone within themselves. And I'm ranting about Taylor Swift again, which I'm aware is super lame. She's also fairly consistent with creating videos about how she made the music videos - from the concept to the editing - which I appreciate. I love learning about people's processes. I'm sure that's annoying. I always ask questions that are a little bit too penetrating, but that's because my own process is a little bit mysterious, even to myself. I hear songs and I can see a story. And it's not even a whole story. Sometimes, it's just a scene, just a frame. And sometimes, I feel like I can't do the story justice. Some days, I can type for hours and it's beautiful. Other days, it feels like I have to tear open a vein just to get out a sentence. Even now, I can understand why Hemingway and Stoker and Poe drank so much - all the words I've been keeping locked up in the recesses of my mind are just flowing out, like so much blood. And right now - it sounds good. It sounds beautiful. Even if I read it tomorrow and it's full of typos and nonsense, right now, it sounds like exactly what I want to say. But I'm still inhibited - as much as I share on here, it's really only about 5% of the thoughts in my head. The deepest, darkest parts of myself are still very much secret, only to be revealed to those most worthy. So, even though I have a lot more to rant about, I'm going to take my ranting offline. Maybe work on a project I've been holding onto for 6+ months, because there's no use holding onto it any more.

Needless to say, this month should be fun. I've been waiting to share a lot of these thoughts for a while now and finally, I have an opportunity. Happy Mercury Retrograde - it's going to be fucking wilde!

October Theme: "Something Wicked This Way Comes"

At the beginning of Act IV of the Scottish Play, three witches hover over a cauldron, brewing a potion that symbolizes their influence on the titular character. The Weird Sisters - a nod to the three Fates, Greek goddesses who managed the destiny of all, with only one eye between them - predict his ascent to the Scottish throne and then later, foretell of his downfall. In both situations, he overhears them and tragedy follows. That's the funny thing about predictions and prophesies - the more you know about them, the more likely they are to come true, often in disastrous ways. The Weird Sisters are an ominous force in the play, in spite of only appearing in a few scenes, because of the perceived power of the women. A few words - which Shakespeare uses trochaic tetrameter, a verse form he only uses for supernatural creatures, such as witches and fairies (mere mortals will use iambic pentameter) - result in so much death and destruction but, had they remain unheard, would have been just meaningless chanting by three crazy old ladies.

The theme for October is Witchcraft, in all its vagaries and forms (but music in particular). I'll be sharing some of my favorite songs performed by artists who identify as witches and/or pagans, as well as discussing/processing a little of what I've learned in the past decade in my search for meaning, which inexplicably always brings me back to the occult and esoteric. The field of pagan music is surprising diverse - it's not all heavy metal and folk music - and I hope to showcase that adequately. This particular genre of music tends to remain hidden until you go looking for it. I think that's appropriate, given that the content is often about the unspoken parts of reality that we pretend don't exist for society's sake. But that's the point of October and Halloween - we go looking to uncover things we've tried to forget about. Abandoned projects. Hidden desires. Losses we haven't yet grieved. Ancestors who've long since past. We begin October in Libra, which brings to light all the things we desire and all the ways we've become unbalanced. It starts with a drive for neatness and order, an almost obsessive need for everything to turn out "pretty," but eventually gives way to the chaotic energy of Scorpio season. And Scorpio is about all about the Transformation. It knows best that, in order to put things the way need to be to move forward, you might need to destroy the things that don't belong. Which may be things you didn't expect. One important thing to remember though - a little "Witch" wisdom, if you will - Chaos is not synonymous with random. Just because you can't see the pattern doesn't mean it isn't there. As someone who has struggled with control issues - everything has to happen right when I say it will, exactly how I say it should - it may come as a surprise that I find this truism exceedingly comforting. That's another thing about being, to quote Constantine, a "petty dabbler in the Dark Arts" - you have to learn to trust things you can't see and may only just barely understand. Leap and the net shall appear. I've been doing a lot of that lately. It's probably good for me. Happy October!

September Theme: Where have I heard that before? Part Deux

Friday was a slow day at work and I found myself in an intensely philosophical discussion with my coworkers about the Hero's Journey and the trajectory of a character into good versus evil. I posited that one of the key moments in the Hero's Journey where it has the potential to turn into the Villain's Journey is the Atonement (or lack thereof) of the Father. The examples we discussed were Voldemort and Kylo Ren (aka Ben Solo). Especially concerning Kylo Ren, there's this question of whether or not he can be redeemed. However, in general, killing your own father (sorry if I spoiled that for ya....it's been like 5 years) is a point of no return. You've already chosen the path of evil, any seeming good that you may do from that point on is in service of whatever twisted purpose you're pursuing. The discussion spurred me to actually go out and buy "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell, which I've been meaning to do for months now. Maybe I'll actually know what I'm ranting about for once. The Hero's Journey, although dressed in the trappings of comparative mythology, is ultimately about the search for meaning in the human experience. Joseph Campbell draws from psychology, religion, and spirituality to weave together why this particular plot line is so universal. From the knowledge of the literary journey of our favorite protagonists, we are able to draw vicariously from their experiences and develop our own sense of purpose. The Hero's Journey mirrors the Human Journey - remembering that turns every story we consume into a guide we can use to lead us to - and through - our destined paths.

Whew! Got a little dramatic there but I cannot overstate this - I've read about 20 pages in this book and it is already deep, dense, and heavy. It also has a lot of footnotes, and that's just about my most favorite thing in the world - a book with lots of footnotes. As the title suggests, I would like to revisit November 2018's theme again and dive deeper into the pop culture quagmire that we call civilization. I hope to put some of my newfound understanding to (somewhat legit) use by applying it to films and TV shows I've enjoyed throughout the years. It may get a little introspective, but I think all art - yes, even humble blog posts such as this one - are reflective of the people who create them. It's just that some introspection is more overt than usual. Of course, I plan to pull songs from the chosen media to highlight how music plays it's own unique part in narrating the human experience.

That's enough for now. With that, I leave you with the following pithy Internet quote:

August Theme: "Empowerment"

I was planning to post the theme for this month sooner but after the tragedy in El Paso yesterday, I felt drained and also felt it was inappropriate although my family and friends who still live there are okay (the Cielo Vista Walmart is close to where my in-laws live), it still weighs on me a bit. El Paso is one of the few places in my life where I felt like I had a "home." Considering that, for a city of its size, murder is incredibly rare in El Paso, the magnitude of violence that occurred there yesterday is unexpected. Given the details that are coming out of the investigation about the shooter's intentions to specifically target people of Hispanic descent, it's hard for me not to take yesterday's events personally. And that's how I feel on that.

I've chosen "Empowerment" for this month's theme. Aside from all the Leo season good-ness that is supposed to be happening, it's a theme that allows room for some happy songs and exploration of new psychology methodologies and theories that have sparked my curiosity as of late. I've also stumbled upon a new breed of psychology - Holistic Psychology - that views New Age ideas/concepts as a tool for self-healing and enlightenment. Because of its reputation as a "soft science," psychology (as I encountered it in school) intentionally focused only on areas of study that the mainstream considered "serious," and as a result, neglected research of topics that the average scientist would consider "woo-woo." For example, extra-sensory perception (ESP), life after death/near-death experiences, and the effects of spirituality/occult practices. Like it or not, these things are part of the human experience and are worthy of scientific research. To choose not to study and examine an area of the human psyche because the possibilities have been judged too fantastical is an active choice to ignore an entire dimension of objective truth simply to assuage the scientific community's collective ego. It's one of the things that turned me off to studying psychology further and I find it ironic that my spiritual quest has brought me full circle.

Lately, my journey has led me to learn more about the North and South nodes in astrology. Understanding the North and South nodes in our natal - and how they manifest in our lives - is one of those things in astrology that I think could have massive potential for helping people understand and pursue their life's purpose. The cardinal rule of astrology is "thou shalt not covet another's placements" but - if I may confess - I've always been jealous that I didn't have any Libra placements, because Libra is the sign of beauty and charm. Until I realized that I probably have the most essential Libra placement of all - my South node. Astrologically speaking, it means in past lives (or in the beginning of this life, if you don't believe in reincarnation), I have already mastered and incorporated the best parts of Libra. Diplomacy, charm, cooperation, relational/emotional intelligence, kindness, elegance, and the art of being effortlessly beautiful. Those qualities are innate parts of who I am as a person and are essential to accomplishing my soul's mission. But, as beneficial as these qualities may seem, over-reliance of them can be a hindrance and that is something I must learn as I aim to master the spirit of Aries (my North node). The key is balance - there is time for artful collaboration and time for fierce independence.

I feel like I'm learning so much at this time and I feel moved to try to synthesize it all into something more cohesive. As I do that this month, please be patient - postings may not be as frequent but they will probably be more lengthy and intense. Thank you for your patience and please enjoy this short Sailor Moon meme. I saw it on Twitter and it touched me, because I feel like it's advice I don't follow enough in my own life. And that is something I'm working on.

July Theme: "Ladies' Choice"

For July, I wanted to work on some projects I've been avoiding for a while so, instead of pushing myself to follow a theme and exerting extra brain power searching for songs that fit a vision, this month is going to be mostly random choices. There probably won't be too many rants, either, as I'm going to try to keep things short. I only have so much writing time in a day, unfortunately.

To be honest, June felt extra heavy for some reason. I was feeling unappreciated, unloved, uninspired - just a lot of "uns" in general. And, while I'd like to say I'm feeling better, the fact is that in July, I still feel all the feels, I just have more energy and motivation to be....mean. I've still got a lot of righteous anger and I'm ready to burn a few bridges, if necessary. But for now, I'm trying to fly under the radar because, occasionally, the pain subsides and the rage passes. It is, indeed, Cancer season - in honor of my birthday month, I've been dipping into the Cancer playlist curated by Spotify and I've found some gems. Some of the songs hit a little bit too hard but that's why I like them. The artists have put the intensity I'm feeling into the words I couldn't find. I'm still trying to find them. While I do that, there's plenty of darkness I have left to transmute.

For fun, I scoured the internet for a truly Cancerean quote. Naturally, it came from Pablo Neruda, a poet known for his love sonnets: “If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life.”

I also scoured the internet for Cancer memes - there were a lot, mostly involving Sailor Moon (the show was highly astrology based - all the Scouts were based on their planetary ruler. Sailor Moon was a Cancer, Sailor Mercury was a Virgo, Sailor Mars was an Aries, etc.) Sharing a few to lighten the mood.

June Theme: Retro-Futurism for the Win!

As I said before, the last month has been rough on me. Not just because of all the shadow work, but also all sorts of chaos being unleashed in both my personal and professional life. But we're getting close to Summer now, which I've always considered to be "my season." As far as I'm considered, June and July are mine, because my Sun is in Cancer and my Rising is in Gemini. Also, I was born in California and all California girls are perpetually awaiting summertime. Since June is the start of my season - and Gemini placements have diverse and varied interests - I've decided to focus on one of my passions that I don't really take the opportunity to showcase. Retro-Futurism.

For the uninitiated, retro-futurism is the creative movement that places modern and futuristic elements within a past era. My preferred aesthetic is Dieselpunk, which takes place during the Great War Era. This falls between World War I and World War II, roughly from 1920 through 1945. However, because of this placement, it naturally blends with the earlier period that comprises Steampunk and the post-war era that becomes Atompunk. Although my primary focus this month will be on the elements that make up Dieselpunk, I may dip into other retro-futuristic aesthetics as the mood strikes me.

So what does that mean for June? Well, be prepared for a lot of electro-swing, big band, some chap hop, rockabilly, horrorbilly (basically all the "billys"), and a healthy dose of my favorite band for vintage re-imagining, Postmodern Jukebox. Additionally, I plan to explore different elements of retro-futurism and how they are used in their respective aesthetic. Naturally, this will include sharing some of my favorite retro-futurist artwork and resources, as well as other Dieselpunk things I've collected over the years.

May Theme: "The Shadow"

As you may have guessed, April kicked my ass. There was just too many things going on - from last minute work trips to one of the worst colds I've had in a couple years. I'm hoping May will be smoother. Today is Beltane (or Bealtaine, which is the Gaelic spelling and my preferred version), an ancient fertility festival and one of the eight Sabbats in the pagan Wheel of the Year. Traditionally, it marked the beginning of the Summer and rituals were performed to celebrate/encourage the new growth of the coming season. It also happens to be my favorite Sabbat. What can I say? As much as I like spooky, goth stuff, I am - and always will be - a "dancing naked around a bonfire" type of pagan. The tent's big enough for all types. (For the record, I have not done this....but I also know myself well enough to know that, if the opportunity arose, I would not say "no." Keep in mind - before all the commercialization, I used to think going to Burning Man might be a fun vacation. I know, I know - I'm a dirty hippie. Sorry, not sorry.)

Now, I fully realize that Beltane falls during a time frame where people are focused on the coming good times and looking forward to feeling the sun our faces. But, most importantly, it's a time of growth and there is no growth without facing the hard times (and by "facing," I mean intense, analytical study). After a day (fuck it - a whole month) where I've been really feeling my limitations,  I thought I'd take one last look at the darkness before we get to the freer, sunnier months of June and July. For this month, I decided to focus on The Shadow, the Jungian concept of the dispossessed, uncomfortable parts of us that societal norms have labeled "bad" but are essential and inextricable from the human experience. I'm also a big fan of songs whose lyrics contain darker imagery, even if the overall tone of the song is intended to be upbeat. I'm pairing the songs up with short discussions of Jungian archetypes and some recommendations for addressing them through shadow work. It goes without saying but the topics discussed this month are probably not going to be light and I'll be drawing on my own knowledge of Psychology (as well as helpful resources for those who want to learn more) to inform my writing. That being said, there should be some humor in it to - the best comedy comes from recognizing the shadow and understanding that there's nothing in it to be afraid of. To quote a great wizard, "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

April Theme: "Why are you running?"

Ah yes, the quintessential question of human existence, except for maybe it's sister question - "What are you running from?" Of course, I'm not talking about running from your problems or your angst or any of that nonsense. I'm talking about just regular, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other running. In my youth, I was asked this question a lot. A friend in college told me once that every time she saw me, I was always running. Running to do this. Running to do that. Running here. Running there. The simple truth of the matter is that I simply cannot stand still. I'm convinced that if I stop running, I'll die and there's plenty of scientific evidence to back me up. Unfortunately, I'm actually supposed to take a break from running for a couple weeks because I've been - literally - running myself ragged. So, as much as I'll miss my favorite form of moving meditation, I'll be focusing on more low impact exercise (like yoga) for now in order to give my poor body some time to recover.

As for the theme, I've chosen a selection of my favorite songs to run to and I'll be describing the sort of places my imagination goes when I only have a stretch of road and my music to keep me company. Most of these songs are featured on my "Working Out or Hardly Working?" playlist on Spotify, which brings me to my next point. Later in the month, I will be sharing my secrets to curating a killer playlist for fun and profit. I've been making mix tapes since I was 8, so hopefully I've learned a thing or two about how to keep the tunes flowing in the most effective manner. Just a fair warning - there is a lot of "epic" music ahead for this month, along with probably way too much Imagine Dragons. As a pre-apology, enjoy the following "Heart and Brain" comic:

March Theme: "The Divine Feminine"

Happy March y'all! Spring is finally around the corner, the clouds are starting to lift, and - at least here in Central Texas - everything is starting to look a beautiful shade of green. In honor of Women's History Month, I've selected a bunch of songs that honor and explore the many aspects of the divine feminine. Before I go on - yes, I am well aware that "Divine Feminine" was a project by the late Mac Miller to honor his goddess (i.e., Ariana Grande). Though I haven't listened to the album yet (and I realize I need to), there will be some Ariana Grande involvement this month, because I adore Ari (and Cancer bitches need to stick together). There will also be plenty of Debbie (Harry), Billie, Stevie, Amy, and Alanis, just to name a few. I'll also be trying to interweave some stories of my favorite femmes throughout history, both real and fictional. And yes, the use of the word "femmes" was intentional - my feminism includes transwomen, so if you have have a problem with that, you're on the wrong blog. I'm going to try to get even more diverse this month, both in genres and artists, as well as integrate some musical history throughout. This month in music already started a bang with Solange Knowles (*cough*another Cancer*cough) dropping her latest album, "When I Get Home," at midnight on March 1st. If we can set that level of power and confidence as the bar, this should be a pretty good month writing-wise. Kicking it all off tomorrow with my favorite Blondie song, so stay tuned....

February Theme: "They Love Me/They Love Me Not"

Merry Imbolc All! As you may have guessed, February's theme is love songs, all kinds. Sad songs, happy songs, lustful songs, break up songs, unrequited love songs - just the full gamut of this subject because, as I've mentioned before, most music written is about love, in some form or another. And, like a girl pulling petals from a daisy, you won't know if it's going to be a happy love song or a breakup song. I thought I'd go back and forth, because there are some really fucking great heartbreak songs that I know someone out there is looking for to heal Because that's how life is and you have to get through it however you can. I - personally - think music is a powerful way to pull your way through this existence. Nietzsche and I have that in common.

Anyway, no song today but a little housekeeping - my brief hiatus is over and I plan to be posting more on Music Slut again. I've gotten my energy and focus back, for the most part, so I hope to at least be writing on here at least three times a week, which seems to be a sustainable pace. Having that extra time to regain my balance was helpful and, if you regularly read this blog, thank you for your patience and understanding. Light and love, 'til tomorrow.

January Theme - "Under the Covers"

Just a short post for today - as you might've guessed, I'll be doing cover versions of songs for January. As I mentioned in the previous post, I'm trying to use my very limited amount of writing time more effectively so, during January, I'll be prioritizing some of my other writing projects. That doesn't mean I'm abandoning this blog entirely - I'll just be posting considerably less than I have been. But, since covers are a good way of exploring different genres and artists, I intend to pack a lot more musical history into this month than usual. Don't worry - I'll try to limit myself to one Beatles song....but I won't make any promises.

To be fair, they were all high as fuck while recording this album
so we can't really fault Ringo for writing "Octopus's Garden"

December Theme: "A Few of My Favorite Things"

As the theme title suggests, for December, I'm going to keep it simple and call attention to a few of my favorite songs from 2018. Some of these songs were released this year, some of them I just discovered (or re-discovered) this year, and most of them provided some level of meaning for me. I apologize in advance - this month is going to be a little heavy with the Taylor Swift, 5SOS, Theory of a Dead Man, Imagine Dragons, Ariana Grande, and Papa Roach. Yes, I know that's kind of a weird mix. And it's December, which happens to be T-Swifts birthday month. I'll try to keep the T-Swift songs to a minimum - that being said, I'm not making any promises. Additionally, it's the season of Yule, so I'll be throwing in a few of my favorite Christmas songs in for good measure. All in all, it should be a fun month. Stay tuned and thanks for reading!

Heart and Brain celebrate Christmas,
Credit: the Awkward Yeti

November Theme: Where have I heard that before?

For November, I've decided to pick songs from movies and TV shows. In particular, I've picked a few from some of my favorite movies. No post today, but tomorrow, I have something in mind for Dia de los Muertos. Good night!

October Theme: Witches and Demons and Death....Oh My!

As promised, October is going to be all about the dark and the spooky. I've got some great southern gothic songs lined up, some swing, some horrorbilly, and probably way too much dark wave. Yes, Siouxie makes an appearance or two, as do Calabrese, Voltaire, and - one of my old favorites - the Horrorpops. Most songs will revolve around one of the three topics I've picked for the theme name, which I thought was pretty clever.

No Song du Jour/Nuit today - Time got a little away from me, so I'm just doing a quick introduction/housekeeping. But tomorrow, we're going to kick off the month on a lively note with one of my favorite tunes for raising energy....until then, I bid you adieu. (Tish! That's French!)