I started drafting a rant for another song but then the sheer amount of stuff I need to do between today and tomorrow became real for me all of a sudden. I just baked approximately 50 cupcakes that will need to be frosted at some point, my backseat is filled with sticks we spray-painted silver (it's best not to ask), I haven't packed yet for our hotel stay, and when I get to the hotel tomorrow morning, there's 250+ balloons waiting to be blown up. Oh Joy. More Gemini Rising bullshit. My advice - don't do this to yourself. I'm a highly seasoned professional with years of experience volunteering to do labor-intensive nonsense for fun and profit. Just kidding - I've never profited from this stuff, not by any reasonable measure. I should probably remedy that, somehow. Suffice it to say, there won't be a post tomorrow. But Sunday's rant will hopefully be better because I won't be feeling rushed or stressed over party planning shenanigans. For the last month, I've seriously considered putting up the following sign:
I still might put it up - pot luck season isn't over yet.
Step out into the Indian dust
I can feel the cracks in my spirit
They're starting to bust
Drive by your house, nobody's home
I'm trying to tell myself that I'm better off alone
All of my friends say I should move on
She's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard
And all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be
And it's a great big world, she's just another girl
YouTube has been pushing the music video for this song a lot lately. Because the algorithm knows my comfort zone....which is apparently early 2010s indie alternative rock. Predictable. But they got me, so clearly it's accurate. I liked it so it's been added to the appropriate playlists and I am sharing it today. It's about the stereotypical words of encouragement people say when your heart's broken that aren't as helpful as they think they are. After only having heard this song like last week, I already have a theory for the video. In the video, there's a pretty blonde girl who is lip-synching the lyrics. I think she was in "Glee" but I'm not sure because I was never into that show (which is weird, because I was all about choir in high school). I'm pretty sure the blonde is supposed to be the girl in question. Essentially, she's pretending to be the lead singer (by wearing his clothes and doing the things he'd normally be doing) because she took a part of him with her. Or maybe it means he doesn't believe she is "just another girl" because he feels she was the mirror image of himself - his metaphorical other half. Or maybe it was just a good reason to put Dianna Agron (I looked her up) in a bunch of awesome outfits. And her hair is amazing in the video - I'm not sure I could pull it off. I think I'd have to get bangs and I'd rather not. Fun fact: Dianna Agron's brother actually is named Jason so the song could be about her (but I suspect it's just a common name he picked to protect the innocent - the names in songs hardly ever point directly to an actual person). And after watching the video a few times, the replication of the looks from other Killers' music videos is made very intentional. Anyway, at the end of the video, Agron just walks away and she's not really part of the final scene. The lead singer is back to being himself, which makes me think that maybe she's not just another girl because she (or rather, the heartbreak she caused) inspired him to channel his intensity into his music. Everyone needs a muse.
This version of "Come On Eileen" in a nutshell: It's a New Wave classic turned into a ska anthem - who could ask for more? In either version, the beat is hoppy and light and you can't help but shake your ass to it. And that is my professional opinion. There's a lot of things I like about this song. Mostly because it reminds me of happier, simpler times.
When The Husband and I first started dating, he'd take me to a lot of ska shows. And yes, I joined skanking circles because it was fun and nobody cared that they looked like idiots. I was one of those idiots. Ska has a big place in the Southwest musical scene, where most of my friends and family live - partially because of the Spanish influence in third wave ska (aka ska punk). Even though most of the big names come from Southern California, there's still quite a considerable scene in Arizona, New Mexico, and West Texas. For example, we saw Authority Zero (from Mesa, AZ) more than once. El Paso had a lot of local ska bands, too, like Liquid Cheese, the Casual Fridays, and Fixed Idea. Aside from one fairly traumatizing experience, I enjoyed most of these shows. You usually saw the same people and it was a community of sorts. At some point, though, we stopped going and I kind of miss that.
The other thing this song reminds me of is "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," because that's where Save Ferris gets their band name. The first time I saw that movie, we were staying overnight at my Uncle Danny's - he was giving my grandparents a break from hanging out with my sister and I. Usually, we'd watch him and my Aunt Viv play softball. Afterwards, we'd stay the night and watch movies. I have a lot of good memories of my Uncle Danny and I miss him a lot some days. Anyway, before I go down that rabbit hole, I have to admit it's been kind of an emotional day for me. And, though I may have seemed fine, it was the most anxious I've been in a long while. It's weird - I'll be perfectly fine for weeks at a time and then, suddenly, I'm hyperventilating and my heart is racing and I've got these intrusive thoughts that won't go away. Which is why I wanted to bring up Ferris Bueller, and specifically, a film theory centered around "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
These people 'round here
Wear beat down eyes sunk in smoke dried faces
They're resigned to what their fate is
But not us, (no never) no not us (no never)
We are far to young and clever
Remember
Too ra loo ra too ra loo rye aye
And you'l hum this tune forever
For those not familiar with the movie, I'll briefly summarize - golden boy Ferris Bueller decides to play hookie. Throughout the movie, he drags his best friend, Cameron, and his girlfriend, Sloane, all over Chicago on outrageous - and nigh unbelievable - adventures. All the while, his envious sister and suspicious principal are trying to prove that he's not really sick. However, there's a theory that Ferris Bueller is just Cameron's alter ego - a projection he uses to cope with his bleak reality. Sort of like Tyler Durden in "Fight Club" (also one of my favorite movies). Ferris Bueller has loving parents, a beautiful girlfriend, and everyone in the school loves him. Conversely, it's pretty clear that Cameron's father is neglectful (if not downright abusive), he's constantly depressed, and everyone else pretends he's invisible. There are two sides to this theory - Side A is that Ferris Bueller's Day Off didn't actually happen and it's just a fantasy in Cameron's head. I don't buy that. Side B is the Fight Club theory - Cameron is Ferris. No one sees Cameron because whenever he's around people, Ferris comes out. When he's Ferris, he's cool and funny and has no limits. Some people assume the climax of the movie is when Ferris is racing to get back to his bedroom before his mom comes home. But really, that's all denouement - what needs to happen to wrap up all the loose ends. The real climax is when Cameron destroys his father's car. At this point, he realizes he has no choice except to face reality. At the same time he has to accept responsibility for his actions, he also needs to stand up to his dad and set boundaries. Surprisingly, this isn't as easy as it sounds in real life and it's telling that we don't actually see that happen in the movie. John Hughes just leaves us to assume Cameron faced his demons but the movie ends with Ferris still getting away with his same old shenanigans.
Someone recommended that I read "Your Illustrated Guide to Becoming One with the Universe" by Yumi Sakugawa. The book is exactly what it sounds like - a lot of pictures with some sound advice on living life. One of the suggestions is to sit down and have tea with your demons. Give them personalities. A wardrobe. Decide what kind of tea and treats they prefer. And then talk to them, to get down to what your core wounds are, why you have them, and how to cope. Rejection. Control. Et cetera. The point is to get comfortable with them so that when you're triggered (and start having a panic attack or a fit of rage), you recognize them and won't react to them in negative, self-sabotaging ways. Ferris's demon name is Attention-seeking. He wears the biggest smile and acts like the coolest guy to hide the fact that he doesn't really like himself and needs external validation to build up his self-worth. Best not to have cake or tea around - he might throw it in your face to get a laugh. Anyway, I thought it was a cool idea and thought I'd share it. Having tea with your demons is a lot easier than going into a dissociative fugue state and starting an illegal fight club or singing "Danke Schoen" on a parade float.
That rant is over but just a few notes on the song - it's basically about this guy trying to fuck a younger girl that he grew up with. Sorry to say it's not much deeper than that. But it is catchy as hell. You're welcome.
I know y'all are probably pretty love-song'd out (I am, too, to be quite honest) but it's Taylor Swift's birthday and this one happens to be both my favorite T-Swift song and one of my favorite love songs. I was playing it on repeat last spring and my friend even caught me singing it at work, like a damn fool, because I sing when I'm happy. Yes, she does write happy songs once in a while. It's not all "he's a cheating asshole" and "I'll burn down the fucking world" for Taylor. At least, it wasn't always like that. I have a theory why she is that way, but I won't go into too much detail on that now. Not on her birthday. But, suffice it to say, a man that she loved very much broke her heart. Before that, she was an open-hearted, free-spirited, dream-dazed girl with a guitar and an angel face. Then, someone killed her trust in love and she put iron bars around her heart. Not the best reaction, in my opinion. I feel like shutting down your heart is the quickest way to cut yourself off from the Universe, but I can understand why she did it. It's easier to numb yourself than feel the pain and grow through it. Unfortunately, she'll be 30 next year and the psycho dreamgirl routine won't be cute anymore. But remember that - if a girl seems crazy or insecure or distant, it's probably because someone broke her heart at some point and it's not quite healed.
I love this song because it's so innocent. It's about how love is in the beginning, before the brain gets involved, before you start thinking so much. The video features two kids just....being kids. They don't know if it's love, they just know that there's this person that they like a lot. Call me sentimental, but I adore puppy love. I think it's cute. I remember my first crush. Barely, only bits and pieces. I was in first grade and his name was Jared. He was blonde and green-eyed and I think he liked me, too. And I was so excited when he was in my second grade class, too, and then unbelievably crushed when I moved in the middle of the first semester due to circumstances that my 7-year-old brain couldn't really understand. Spoiler alert: Those circumstances were just as unpleasant as I imagined them to be, but I didn't learn why until I was 21. I'm starting to realize that there's a lot of things in my life that could've turned me into someone like Taylor Swift. But I'm not - I still wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not one of those girls who mastered guile and I used to hate that, but maybe it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing to be emotionally sensitive and open to possibilities, open to disappointment. That's healthier than shutting yourself off and avoiding scary things like failure and embarrassment. I've tried doing that - it's not for me. I've failed before, I've done incredibly stupid shit, I've been fucking up constantly and consistently since I was a little kid, and - somehow - I think I turned out better for it. But I'm not gonna lie - it does come with a fair amount of anguish, at times. I think that's just normal life, though.
Back to the song, the chorus is "I just wanna know you better" repeated like a zillion times. This really resonated with me, because - as I think I've said before - all I ever really wanted is someone who wants to know everything about me. And I want to know everything about them. I know that's not possible, but still - the desire is there. "Everything Has Changed" is a duet with Ed Sheeran. T-Swift has collaborated with Sheeran like 3 or 4 times. I suppose it's because they have similar styles and they're good friends. My original theory was that T-Swift was in love with Ed Sheeran, but clearly that's not the case. Ed Sheeran recently married a childhood friend, which is the story that runs through his songs. Taylor has a very different story, one that's a little bit sadder. Oh well. She should take comfort that Supergirl is also going through some very real shit in the love department as well, so she's not alone.
Come back and tell me why
I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind
I love the video almost as much as the song, because it embodies that innocence I was talking about. It starts with a pretty little girl getting on the bus and sitting down next to her friend. He's reading the Funny Pages (which still is my favorite part of the newspaper) and drinking what appears to be coffee. And she just smiles this smile that says, "I fucking love this little weirdo." The video is these two kids hanging out together, doing typical (and not-so-typical) kid stuff. My other favorite part of the video is when they are talking on the "phone" to each other. In the video, it's clear that the phones are fake and they're just talking to themselves, but their expressions are so animated that you know they believe they're talking to each other. I also like that the kids are different in some ways (he's kind of goofy, she's more serious) but they get along and do things outside of their "wheelhouse" because the other likes doing it. Like reading "The Notebook" or doing yoga or drawing on your face with markers. Kindred spirits. I think it's sweet, but we've already established I'm a sentimental old fool. Enjoy!
