Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still
True to form, I've been trying to cheer myself up by watching and reading romantic stories. I'm rereading "Pride & Prejudice" for the 5th time in my life and even deigned to watch the Kiera Knightly film adaptation (which, aside from the historical costuming inaccuracies, really isn't that bad - I've watched it twice in the past few months). I've also been consumed by the book "Me Before You" and its subsequent film adaptation, for which "Photograph" was used in the trailer. From the beginning, it's a doomed romance. A woman is hired to be a companion for a quadriplegic who wants to die. His family is trying to change his mind, of course, and that's part of the reason they bring on Louisa. To convince him there are still things worth living for, even if it's not the life he wanted. Louisa falls in love with him, despite knowing he has a date with an assisted suicide clinic. There's a bit of this childish hope in Louisa, clinging to a belief that "Love conquers all." When Will ultimately chooses to go through with his plan, it's not because he doesn't love Louisa. He does. But he wants her to have a life he can't give her (which she honestly doesn't care about - she's willing to make it work). He still wants a life he'll never have again. Even though she doesn't agree with it, Lou chooses to be with him in his last moments. And I think that's what characterizes a doomed romance the most. There's a moment where the characters have a choice between the destined path and the interpreted path. They both have to choose the destined path to get a chance at the fairytale happy ending. To quote Leo in "Titanic," "if you jump, I jump." In a doomed romance, they choose opposite paths - i.e., one or both choose the interpreted path - which takes them apart. Not to be mistaken with the Tragic Romance, in which they both choose the Destined Path but are torn apart by external forces (i.e., Romeo & Juliet, Titanic, Tristan & Isolde). Will Trainor didn't have to die, he chose to die, even when presented with a happy alternative life with Louisa.
The reason Will Trainor gives for going through with his original decision is something most of us don't want to hear - Love isn't enough. Sometimes it's not enough to keep going, it's not enough to stay, it's not enough to change someone's mind, it's not enough to make people change. It's not enough to stop Death or cure illness (physical or mental) or fix past mistakes. And this hurts because, deep in our hearts, we believe something as powerful as Love should be able to do all that. The question a Doomed Romance presents us is - if you knew from the start things would end this way, would you still have fallen in love? I've been watching a YouTube series by Screened which examines the question "what is the point of a doomed romance?" through the analysis of several excellent films. The main "point" of these romances, according to Screened, is for the inner growth of the main character. The relationship and its subsequent failure(s) serves to awaken something in the protagonist. In "500 Days of Summer," Tom was idealizing his relationship with Summer to avoid the very real lack of purpose in his life. In "Lost in Translation," both characters are lacking deep connections in their lives. In "Me Before You," Louisa was playing it safe - in love and life - out of fear of being hurt again. The point is these characters get a renewed outlook on life - they come out of the doomed romance wiser, braver, and stronger than they were before. The romance becomes a vehicle for personal growth in these stories.
When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home"
None of this has anything to do with the song, of course. Ed Sheeran has two types of songs - catchy pop love songs and songs that sound like they were specifically written for people to choose as their wedding song. Even when he collaborates, he follows this basic pattern. "Photograph" fits in the latter category, as you may have guessed. I like to play it when I'm feeding the baby, when I'm not singing to him. This song, right now, makes me cry a lot. I don't know why. Probably because it's fucking Ed Sheeran. The song is about staying connected during a long-distance relationship. Or I suppose it's applicable whenever you have to be away from someone and you only have a photograph to remember them by.
"Photograph" Video
