"Road to Home" by Girl in a Coma

I've been thinking a lot about my crazy days. Because every girl has a crazy period in her life....or she should. Otherwise, you'll be filled with regrets. I did a lot of stupid things and, to be honest, I kind of miss it. Not really the stupid things....I think it's probably a good thing I stopped drinking so much and stopped bumming cigarettes from strangers. It's more about the people I hung out with, how they made me feel. They made me feel - I don't know - cool, I guess. Maybe not cool, but maybe a little less lame. I never realized how rare those people can be, sometimes....

That's what "Road to Home" is about, I think. Thinking about who you used to be, who you could be if you tried. About how hard it is to find yourself sometimes....about how hard it is to be yourself sometimes. Going over everything you want to do with your life that you can't. And how strange and alone that can leave you feeling. Yes, I'm a bit melancholic today....Fatalist Jess is out in full force. Don't worry, though...she ain't too bad.

I love the bridge because it sounds so raw and earnest when Nina Diaz sings it. "You want to see the world/Don't you want?" Her voice is the reason why Girl in a Coma is one of my favorite SA bands. My favorite line in the song, though, is "Oh you don't regret a thing because it was fun at the time." Yes, wholeheartedly agree, I would apply this to each and every one of my crazy days. Now if I could only get over my bad self and just be who I want to be now. She's a badass, in my humble opinion. Not unlike Amanda Lepore, who is featured in the video and just looks stunning. Think what you want about transgendered people but here's what I know....it takes guts to do what you need to do to be happy - even when people refuse to understand and choose to hate you - and I admire that.

"Raise Hell" by Dorothy

I've been getting really tired of hearing "Bang, Bang" and "Shake It Off" everyday. Don't get me wrong, I like "Bang, Bang" as much as the next girl but something had to give so I went trawling through YouTube to get this kid hooked on something that wasn't pop. We've been mixing in a little Shinedown and Theory of a Dead Man in every day, which is how Dorothy popped up in the recommended section. That's how I found my anthem for this week.

First off, I gotta tell you - the vocalist Dorothy Martin is fuckin' Beautiful. She's like if Monica Bellucci had tattoos and dressed all rockabilly. In other words, she looks exactly how I wished I looked. In the "Raise Hell" video, she walks into Thanksgiving dinner in a little black dress, blood red lipstick, and burgundy Doc Marten's (not unlike the ones I have gathering dust in the back of my closet). In the video for "Dark Nights," she's wearing a "Creep Show" tank and the video is literally about her mission to get more Nutella from the store. In fact, it ends with like a minute of her just eating a Nutella sandwich....which gets boring. I only watched the ending one time before I got tired of that nonsense but still....She's pretty awesome.

Back to "Raise Hell." It's not that complicated. Somebody's gotta raise a little hell. And the implication is that it should be me (or you....or whoever the listener is). I think the message is timely. Yesterday was the Flower Moon, which is symbolic of rebirth and new beginnings. Taking risks. Turning over some trees, etc. In short, raising a little hell, because something needs to shake us up every so often to keep us motivated to go after what we want. Just for shits and giggles, I checked by horoscope on Broadly to see what the full moon brought. It wasn't anything interesting - Broadly's astrologers must suck at their job. I'm ranting again, which means I should probably just shut up and post the video. As always, see below.

Song du Jour: "Beelzeboss" by Tenacious D

If you met me, you probably wouldn't peg me as the type of person who listens to Tenacious D. But you'd be wrong. I happen to love Tenacious D...and I also actually enjoyed watching "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny." Sure, it has its ridiculous moments but it's a pretty decent story and the soundtrack is pretty great. I was picking my son up from the daycare yesterday when "Beelzeboss" came on and I remembered that I know all the fucking words to this song. Probably because it's pretty vulgar and that's the best kind of music to blast at a red light. If you didn't know, "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny" is a musical where Tenacious D [i.e., Kage (Kyle Gass) and Jables (Jack Black)] go on this epic journey to find this pick that will make whoever so uses it a rock god. A noble quest, in my opinion. When they finally find it, they start fighting over who gets to use it first. During the argument, the pick ends up broken and on the floor, which is how Satan gets it and uses to become whole again. Thus begins "Beelzeboss," or the best song in the whole fucking movie.

Obviously, Satan being Satan, he's going to take Kage and Jables back to hell, so they challenge him to a rock-off to spare their lives, which he cannot refuse because "rules." Now, I forgot to mention this, but Dave Grohl - Dave fucking Grohl! - is Satan. They're doomed....so doomed. It's pretty obvious in the song that they do not win the rock-off. Ultimately, they have to break off a piece of Satan and like curse him or something....long story short, they get to live. And Satan pays their rent. Because "rules."

Ta da! Now, you probably know more about the plot of "The Pick of Destiny" than you ever wanted to know! You'll thank me later, I know it. It's a pretty fun movie once you get past the awesomely bad-ness of it all but I'll let you judge for yourself. The video below is just a fan video made with Legos....because, you know, copyright law.

Song de la Nuit: "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls

Last Thursday, I had sort of a minor freak out. The gag gift I had bought from Amazon for my friend's going away party arrived broken and, from the way I reacted, you would've thought the world was going to end. I panicked and rushed out the door, planning to go to every possible store I could reach to find a replacement. After two hours of searching, I hadn't found a suitable replacement. Heck, I couldn't even find an unsuitable replacement. And, thus, I was broken, too. Head hung low in shame, I ended up buying a tube of Gorilla glue - as another friend had originally suggested - and drove home. On the way, "Iris" came on and I breathed a sigh of relief and said (aloud) "Oh, Delilah, how do you always know just what I need to hear?" Yes, I listen to Delilah - Don't @ me. Anyways, long story short, I've been under a lot of stress, for multiple reasons, some of which are my own damn fault.

Back to "Iris" - this is just about my favorite song (aside from "Rhiannon," of course). Why? Well, first off, it's a beautiful song. And it's infuriatingly simple in its beauty. There are songs that I just wish there was more of and "Iris" is one of them. It could be 10 minutes long and I would want it to be longer.

Second, I'm a hopeless romantic....and I don't think there's a song more romantic than "Iris." True, the video would be super creepy if weird telescope tower guy was anyone other than Johnny Rzeznik. And yes, apparently that is how you spell his name - I just looked it up. Other than that, I understand that feeling. Wanting to keep how you're feeling hidden. I wish I could do that better - I'm always making a goddamn fool of myself. Smiling like an idiot all the time, making it so damn obvious. But I can't help it - I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to think it makes me endearing.

Anyway, video below. Now that I think of it, I'm kind of surprised I've never used this as a "Song du Jour." You'd think I would start with my favorite song...it's only logical.

Song du Jour: "Gorgeous" by Taylor Swift

This song is kind of ridiculous...but it's been growing on me lately. I didn't like it at first because it sounded like she was trying too hard to be - I don't know - synth pop? Is that the word? But, due to my son's obsession with Taylor Swift (he's inherited my terrible taste in music and apparently has a penchant for blondes....don't worry, one day I'll convince him it's all about brunettes), I've been to listening to T Swift practically every day. And every day, I find a new song. You can say what you want about her but that bitch is prolific. We'll come back to that again (probably in the very near future....I feel like I have a strictly Taylor rant brewing) but let's get back to why I like "Gorgeous."

I can certainly relate to the sentiment she's expressing. I, too, have a tendency to ignore a guy I'm attracted to. Especially when I think he's too good for me, which I think she's alluding to. Taylor is plenty gorgeous herself so if she can't hardly look at this guy, he must shine like a fucking star. Of course, she has a tendency to cast really hot guys in her videos and then date really average grungy guys (*cough*Jake Gyllenhaal*cough*). I think the only guy she dated I was on-board with was Tom Hiddleston. He has a great personality - now if only he dressed like Loki all the time. But he wasn't right for her, which was obvious from the start. He's too English, i.e., nice and proper and gentlemanly. Not that we don't have those types here in America, I'm just saying there's a lot fewer here. I'm going quit while I'm ahead and stop spouting stereotypes right now.

That's really the only reason I like it. Oh, and it's catchy as hell. Damn you, TS! Anyway, the song grows on you...mostly because it gets stuck in your head. There's no official video but there's a fan made one below.

Song du Jour: "In My Blood" by Shawn Mendes

I heard this song about a month ago, which was the perfect time. I've been going through some turmoil, lately, which culminated yesterday with an assault of emotions. Stress from planning and hosting a party, acclimating to new job responsibilities, awkward social situations, and saying goodbye (but not really goodbye) to a good friend who is moving on to her next challenge at a new job. That's not to say there hasn't been good parts. I think I'm reaching some sort of equilibrium. I've actually felt really happy once in a while in the past couple weeks. Of course, when I'm happy, I tend to run my mouth. I'm sure people are like, "Man...Jess won't shut up," but whatever. They'll deal with it. I'm allowed to be happy.

Anyway, I've discovered - or decided, more like - that I really like Shawn Mendes as an artist. His song lyrics always have an intensely graphic quality. For example, take the bridge from "Mercy" - "Consuming all the air inside my lungs/Ripping all the skin from off my bones/I'm prepared to sacrifice my life/I would gladly do it twice." Holy crap, that's dark. "Mercy" is about inspiration and how it can take you dark places, as per some interview he did for an LA radio station. I dig it, Shawn. Of course, Shawn Mendes is one of those insanely attractive but also disgustingly talented kids whom you kind of hope bursts into flames. But only sometimes.

"In My Blood" is about how sometimes you want to give up - which some people do - but that's just not who he is. And it's not me, either. Sure, I'll bottle all that madness up inside but at least, on the outside, it will seem like I have my shit together. It's exhausting, sometimes. But people - like my son and my mom - depend on me to be strong, to hold things together, to provide some stability. So you take a few deep breaths, put on your big girl panties, and just do it.

Song du Nuit: "Deathwish" by Red Sun Rising

I'm struck by another wave of insomnia so I've decided to do a little late night writing on my son's favorite song to sing to (well, it was until we got rid of Sirius XM). My son, who just turned two, is already way cooler than I'll ever be. This kid was humming to Metallica and falling asleep to Korn before he even understood what music was. In fact, we were listening to today's song a couple days ago and he began singing. Of course, he doesn't exactly know the lyrics - it's mostly babble, but at least it's babble to a melody. I'm kind of concerned he's going to turn into a drummer but who am I to criticize his questionable life choices.

Anyway, Red Sun Rising is quickly becoming my new favorite rock band (among several favorites - you know I have many), because pretty much every new song I hear has been effin' awesome. The lead singer has a really beautiful voice, similar to how Chester Bennington had a beautiful voice, when he wasn't screaming. I discovered them when they did a cover of Alanis Morrisette's "Uninvited" for Sirius XM, which deserves its own listen. It's better than the original - and that's hard for me to say as a hardcore Alanis fan. Check it out on your own time, that's all I'm gonna say. They also have reasonably cool videos - for "Fascination," they basically ripped parts of Georges Melies "Le Voyage dans la Lune" and set it to their song. Kind of lazy, kind of amazing.

So "Deathwish"....okay, yes, kind of grim song title but I swear it's very upbeat. Are the lyrics dark? Perhaps a little nihilistic? Sure, but that's how I like it. Goth but annoyingly catchy. Cheerleader goth, if you will. Yes, that's a thing - look it up. The video is kind of messed up. Like "I probably shouldn't let my son watch this" messed up, but he's usually playing with his cars when we're YouTube surfing, so I don't think he's paying attention anyway. Besides, all his favorite movies are about genocide anyway (*cough*Trolls*cough*). I should really stop overthinking children's films....that would be easier if I could sleep. Okay, I'm done with my rant. Video below.

Song du Jour: "Long Time Running" by The Tragically Hip

After the Olympics this past winter, I vanished down YouTube's click hole watching figure skating videos.  I re-watched Tonya Harding land her first triple axle at Albertville, learned about the mechanics of axles and why they're so difficult, fell in love with Johnny Weir (again....seriously, I know he's probably not straight but he's still a hot goth), and reminisced about seeing Nancy Kerrigan when I was 10. However, this trip with the Ghost of Figure Skating Past all started with Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir - who are totally NOT dating - and the ice dance that won them the gold. Well, I actually couldn't find their performance at the actual Olympics, but I did watch the racier version that they performed at the semi-finals. True to form, I was reminded how much I love the music (and everything else) in "Moulin Rouge." I followed the rabbit to their other performances and thus re-discovered today's song du jour....a bittersweet tune by the Canadian rock band, The Tragically Hip (which fits because I myself am tragically hip).

Gord Downie, the lead singer of The Hip, died last year of brain cancer. Tessa and Scott paid tribute to Downie during their gala program for the Olympics with an ice dance set to "Long Time Running." Now, I've read the lyrics about a hundred times and I couldn't tell you what they're supposed to mean. I'm bad at that...but I can tell you what I think it's about. The music sounds sad and wistful and faintly resentful at times. I'm pretty sure he's singing to a girl who has been kind of dragging him along for some years. Whatever. It's beautiful. And just to prove how Canadian they are, they referenced dropping a caribou, which I can only imagine means he shot one. That could be a metaphor, though. Maybe the girl is the caribou - a great majestic creature that is difficult to...? Hunt? Capture? Sure. Let's go with that.

I just asked Dr. Google...."dropping a caribou" is a reference to feeding Canadian quarters in a pay phone. I told you I was bad at this. With that understanding.......I got nothin'. It's a good song when you're feeling pensive, though, and it has become one of my new favorites. Just for fun (and I feel that everyone needs to understand the awesomeness that is Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir), I'm going to share their figure skating routine since "Long Time Running" doesn't have an official video.