Wednesday, November 28, 2018

"Origin of Love" by Hedwig and the Angry Inch

We've encountered Hedwig before. I've had this song in my back pocket for a while. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm not sure exactly what to say. It's a power ballad, for sure, with lyrics whose brilliance are unrivaled by any other song I've heard. In fact, after seeing "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," I felt so strongly about this song, I had to make The Husband (formerly The Boyfriend) listen to it immediately. When he dismissed it as "the most emo song he's ever heard," I cannot begin to describe the level of disappointment I felt. Because I was hoping - just hoping - that he would understand what the song was saying as much as I did. Which is silly, because it isn't the type of song he would get. Not only are the esoteric references over his head, I'm not sure he's even interested in googling the Cliff's Notes for Plato's "Symposium," which is the text the lyrics are based on. Mind you, you don't have to be well-versed in classical philosophy to follow the story - some people just know it's true in their heart. Or so I've been told....maybe that's true for you, too.

For those who haven't spent a lot of time perusing ancient Greek philosophy, I'll sum up "Symposium" here as best I can. "Symposium" is an imagined collection of speeches given by celebrated philosophers of the day in praise of the god Eros. "Origin of Love" is based on Aristophanes speech. Aristophanes tells the other guests that, in the beginning, there were three sexes. One looked like two females attached at the back (Children of the Earth), another was two males (Children of the Sun), and the third was comprised of a man and a woman attached together (Children of the Moon). The humans conspired to climb Mt. Olympus and confront the gods. The gods, frightened by the humans strength and determination, devised an especially cruel way to punish them. Zeus used lightening to cut the humans in half and then scattered them to the wind. And thus, humans are doomed to walk the earth, searching for their other half, wishing to be whole again. However, Aristophanes posits that if they do find their other half, they will be inseparable. It's the essential Love Story, which all other love stories are based on. This text is the basis for the idea of Twin Flames - a single soul split between two bodies. It's not the same as soulmates, if you believe in that kind of thing. You can have dozens of soulmates over your lifetime, but you only have one Twin Flame.

Last time I saw you
We just split in two
You was looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'cause you had blood in your face
And I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine

Aristophanes called his speech a eulogy for the human race - I think that's probably right. It sounds like a sad and lonely existence searching, knowing you're missing something. What a monumental task, to find that one other person out of 7.5 billion people? And, like our friend Wreckless Eric reminded us on Monday, "she probably lives in Tahiti." Eric was obviously from Great Britain - how the fuck would he know to go searching in Tahiti? Or what if they're in some place even farther away? It's basically guaranteed that they'll be from a different culture or socioeconomic status or any number of things that make a relationship difficult. Or what if they ended up dying early this lifetime? Or can't be with you for some other stupid reason? So many "what ifs" and "oh nos." Maybe it's better to not believe in such things, unless it's in a movie or a book. Otherwise, it's just depressing to think about....enough to call back that existential dread that lingers around in the back your mind.

Anyway, this idea also serves as the basis for Hedwig's story, too. At first, she believed Tommy Gnosis was her Twin Flame. Then, he freaks out after discovering she's transgender, steals all her songs and goes on to be a famous rockstar. Hedwig spends the majority of the movie following his tour while playing with her band of Eastern European immigrants. Finally, Hedwig hits rock bottom, having pushed away her friends, and starts working as a hooker. Hedwig and Tommy do reunite briefly, when he solicits her "services." It's a funny scene - Hedwig gets really pissed off when she finds out that Tommy fucked up the lyrics to "Origin of Love" (He was calling Osiris "the Cyrus"). When the paparazzi discover them together, their fortunes reverse - Hedwig becomes a big star and Tommy fades into oblivion. In the end, she realizes she never needed Tommy - she was whole all on her own. And that's the moral of the story, kids.

Including the scene from the movie (because I like the illustrations that go with the song) as well a clean version from the soundtrack.

"Origin of Love" Scene


Soundtrack Version



Monday, November 26, 2018

"Whole Wide World" by Wreckless Eric

I just realized I only have like four days to fit in songs from all my favorite movies and TV shows and it's probably not going to happen. I have too many favorite movies and TV shows, to go along with having way too many favorite songs. I'm just going to have to get the most bang out of this week while I can and take comfort in knowing that I can do a redux of this theme in another 6 months. Ah, creative freedom! It's almost worth the level of unpaid labor I put into this thing (surprise - I actually put a surprising amount of time into what seems to be unorganized nonsense). But enough about me - let's talk about today's movie.

I first heard this song in what is now one of my top 3 favorite movies - an independent drama starring Will Ferrell at his most charming. I'm talking about "Stranger than Fiction." I didn't know what to expect when I first saw this movie, but I find that's a common characteristic about most of my favorite films. It's a story about a story and, as a writer, that's my weakness. One day, the protagonist, Harold (Will Ferrell), starts hearing a woman narrating his life. As you can imagine, this is a little disconcerting. I mean, it's one thing to narrate your life in your own head (which we all do, my dears - no use denying it), but it's something else entirely when you start hearing someone else do it. In order to figure out what's going on, he enlists the help of a local literature professor (Dustin Hoffman), whose sage advise is to just "see where it goes." Along the way, he meets the love of his life, finally learns guitar, and takes some much needed time to figure out who he is. Eventually, he figures out who is narrating his life - and it's the worst imaginable author. An author (Emma Thompson) who always kills her protagonists. He's hearing her voice because she's almost done writing the book. In a mad dash across the city to find her and plead for his life. She lets him read the ending that she's written down on legal paper. After reading it, Harold tells the writer it's a poetic ending and leaves her to continue writing it. Spoiler alert: She chooses not to kill him....because isn't a man who willingly choose to die for a piece of art worth saving? I think so. If he had died, the ending would've been poetic. But even if it's not as poetic, you're happy that Harold gets his happy ending, too.

When I was a young boy
My mama said to me
"There's only one girl in the world for you
And she probably lives in Tahiti."
I'd go the whole wide world
Go the whole wide world just to find her

I'm a sucker for that moment in movies when the nerdy guy/girl gets his object of affection. It makes me squeamishly happy. It's kind of funny to watch - I sorta kick my legs and giggle like a schoolgirl. I imagine it looks cuter than it sounds. Anyway, "Stranger Than Fiction" has one of those moments. Harold is crushing on this alternative baker beauty, Ana (Maggie Gyllenhaal). After auditing her and totally fucking up his first chance, he shows up while she is closing up the bakery, a bouquet of flours in hand. You read that correctly - a baker's dozen of various types of baking flours. It's adorkable and I don't know how she wouldn't have fallen in love right then. So, Ana takes him home and feeds him. After dinner, he's eyeing a guitar one of her customers gave her as payment. After initially refusing to play it, Harold picks up the guitar and starts strumming a classic punk song - Wreckless Eric's "Whole Wide World." Midway through the song, Ana jumps his bones - as any punk-rock-loving girl would have. I think it's one of my favorite scenes in all of filmdom - definitely up there with the goddamn fish tank scene from "Romeo + Juliet."

Lucky you! I was able to find the flours scene and I'm sharing it here.

"Whole Wide World" Video



"Flours" Scene from "Stranger Than Fiction"



Sunday, November 25, 2018

"Hug Me" by Pharrell Williams and Trey Parker

I promised a more happy song for today and, considering this has been one of the most stressful weekends thus far in 2018 (and that's really fucking saying something), I think a little lightness is in order. This is the song that plays during the credits of "Despicable Me 3." It grabbed my attention pretty much immediately, due to it's unrestrained bounciness and joy. Trey Parker is one of those unsung musical geniuses. Seriously? The guy who co-created "South Park?" Yes. If you haven't seen "Cannibal: The Musical," find it and watch it. It's a musical Trey Parker wrote, composed, and directed based on a story of Alferd Packer, who was accused of cannibalism when his companions on a journey from Utah to Colorado were found dead and half-eaten. It's hilarious and brilliant, in the worst way. Obviously, it's a black comedy....those are the best kind.

Anyway, since this song is from a sequel, I wanted to talk a little bit about what makes a good sequel. My two main examples for this discussion are two of my son's favorite movie trilogies: "Kung Fu Panda" and "Despicable Me." As you may have guessed, a good sequel is NOT just a re-telling of the original story but, rather, an expansion on it. That's not to say a good sequel can't follow the same narrative structure as the original. "Kung Fu Panda" expertly demonstrates that you absolutely can follow the same plot (in KFP's case, The Hero's Journey) as long as it builds on the what the viewer already knows about the Hero and explores a new aspect hitherto unseen in the previous film(s). All three KFP movies follow Po as he learns to master something. In the first, it's the mastery of skill and knowledge (Kung Fu); in the second, of Inner Peace and acceptance of the past (largely, a lesson in forgiveness); and the final, a mastery of Self. I would argue that the whole arc for Po is an overall search for the Authentic Self, the first and second being the foundation needed for Po to reach the mastery attained in the third film. There is a Kung Fu Panda 4 in the works but I have a theory that this film is going to mostly about Tigress (at least, I hope so), whose tragic backstory has been hinted at in past films and shorts. In this theoretical film, Po would take a backseat and become more of a mentor to Tigress, supplanting Shifu as the central Mentor in the series.

Moving on to Despicable Me, we have a couple shifts in narrative, which is an easy and powerful way to reinvigorate a character and introduce new characters (aside from villains) into the main story. In the first movie, Gru finds himself in a situation where he's forced to grow and take a hard look at his life choices. This leads him to make a major career shift and take on the responsibilities inherent in becoming a parent to three young girls. In the second movie, we can't really take the same route because the amount of evolution in who Gru is as a person would need something equally as monumental in order to slingshot him into an entirely new Hero's Journey. Something more subtle is needed, which is where a True Love arc comes in. As discussed before, a True Love arc is really an amalgamation of two miniature Hero's Journeys, so the change in each of the characters is not going to be as drastic as you would see if they had a whole movie to themselves. Enter Lucy. Arguably, the exact opposite of Gru (but the same....we can't forget The Rules). She is chipper and hopeful whereas Gru is cynical and realistic. They balance each other out and, more importantly, it's that balance that makes them a good team. Finally, in Despicable Me 3, Gru finally faces a Great Evil or, essentially, the closest he's gotten to an arch-nemesis. His initial failure to catch Evil Brat leads to him losing his job. Then, Gru's obsession with defeating Evil Brat leads to him deceiving both his wife and his twin brother, endangering his relationships with both of them. This deception leads Evil Brat into realizing Gru's true weakness - his family. But that's also his greatest strength, and it's also what defeats Evil Brat in the end. We've come full circle - a man who didn't think he needed anyone in the beginning now has a family that supports him, no matter what.

Why do you insist on trying to give me away
When they were too good and you wanted to shake them, who came?

I was your dirty boy, your good, new secret toy
Show me how they get you joy (who stayed in trouble with you?)
Oh, don't you want some more? Come on, I think they're gone
Our part is coming on (you're either with me or)

Hug me (bring it in)
Won't you loosen up, won't ya
Hug me (bring it in)
I think they wanna take a picture

And that's the secret to a good sequel...and any good story, really. Your protagonist cannot be the same person that they were at the beginning. Likewise, they shouldn't be learning the same lesson every single time because - seriously! - who likes someone who can't fucking learn something that's staring him in the face? And, ideally, you have to see the protagonist doing the work. It's not satisfying to have a protagonist that isn't faced with some sort of struggle or conflict that they must overcome. It's not enough for the protagonist to be a different person at the end - we must see them change. For the better, of course. If they change for the worse - either becoming more cynical and jaded, more angry, more materialistic, more bloodthirsty - they've become the villain. Or possibly an Anti-Hero, but that's a discussion for another day. I know today's post was lengthy but thanks for hanging in there! 

"Hug Me" Video

Friday, November 23, 2018

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie

The strangest thing happened just now. I was having a perfectly fine, happy day when a sudden pang of existentialist dread came over me. Enter Death Cab for Cutie.

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" has been featured in numerous TV shows and movies, mostly instrumental form, but I think I first remember hearing it in an episode of "Grey's Anatomy." That show is tough to watch - at least, the early season were. I think someone died every episode - patients, secondary characters, even main characters (but not Meredith, never Meredith, although she has a few close calls). I always kind of identified with Meredith Grey - smart, talented, with so many expectations and a difficult relationship with her mother. There's an episode where a patient is always in pain because of his affliction that he tells Christina (Meredith's best friend) that he lives his life at an 8 so it's become sort of this background that dulls every other part of his life. Later in the episode, she yells at McDreamy for being careless with Meredith's heart because "she lives her life at an 8....her pain on any given day is an 8." I wouldn't be that dramatic but it always surprises me how easy it is to pretend that it's not that hard. Of course, people see what they want to see. That helps.

Anyway, there's so much death and pain in that show but that's not what makes it hard to watch. It's the aftermath. That's what brings tears to this old soul's heart. What's left behind when there's nothing left to heal. In the second season, Izzy falls in love with Denny Duquette...and it's wild and innocent and beautiful. But then he dies, despite Izzy's best efforts, despite her risking her whole career, perhaps even risking her freedom. And that's not even the saddest part of their relationship. No...the saddest part comes a few seasons later, when Meredith meets Denny in the afterlife during a near-death experience. He hasn't moved on to Heaven (which is a obvious eventuality in the Grey's universe). Instead, he haunts the hospital and walks the hallways when - every once in awhile - he will walk through Izzy and he gets to feel her energy. Just for a moment before she continues walking. And in that moment, he's so happy. He'll do that until Izzy joins him, however long that takes. Isn't that so fucking sad?

In the story I'm writing, the heroine is an Immortal. Well, more accurately - due to circumstances in her life - she has been given the Curse of Agelessness. Damned for all eternity to watch the people she loves grow old and die. Or just die, in some cases. She could impart immortality on them, if she wanted, but if you understood the depth of that pain, would you? When the story starts, we meet her in this place - broken, bitter, and isolated by choice. Essentially, she vows never to love again, because the pain of loss is too great, now. As you can imagine, this doesn't exactly work for her. Typical Heroine's Journey - faced with tough choices and self reflection. But I read somewhere recently that the right choice is always the path of love, which always leads back to yourself. Pretty hippie dippie but makes sense to me.

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me,
Son, fear is the heart of love, so I never went back

That lyric - "fear is the heart of love" - always struck me, because it's such a bold-faced lie that nevertheless permeates everything in society now. But you can't love something you're afraid of. Fear isn't love...if anything, it's the opposite. I think his reference to Catholicism expertly underscores this point. I don't miss that about being Catholic - being afraid of losing God's love for not being perfect, afraid of being sent to hell for my petty girlish sins. The complete opposite of what Jesus taught. The ending described in the song is more peaceful, but it does frighten me a bit. But, if I believe in a universe with infinite possibilities - and I do - I have to accept that there might not be anything after death. No Heaven, no Hell, no next life, no do-overs. Just darkness. And, hopefully, someone to hold my hand as that darkness takes over. Like that couple in "The Notebook" who die at the same time.

I promise I'll choose a happy song tomorrow. However, I do feel that the dread has passed, probably to some other poor, unsuspecting Millennial. C'est la vie....

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" Video

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Thank you

I've been thinking lately about why I write, specifically why I write this blog. Aside from the obvious - I really love music and like sharing my recommendations with people - I find that the thing I love most about music is the integral part that it plays in the human story. How its addition to the background can make an event more dramatic, more tragic, more romantic....and how its absence can be equally powerful. How the right song can change the emotional tenor of your whole day and how a certain lyric can strike a chord when you least expect it.

This particular month, I've been examining music's place in the narratives that play out on the big and little screens. Before the first "talkie" was released, music was essential in order to set the scene in those first amazing movies. When done right, music tells a snippet of a story that reminds a person of their own human experience. Which brings me back to why I write - I have a story to tell. Several stories in fact, many of which are inspired by the songs I've shared so far. I forgot that for awhile, forgot that drive to create because it felt like my inspiration and passion had all dried up. But I've remembered myself and my story and have been pushing through those blocks. And I know not many people read this blog but I am grateful for those who do. The 75 French people who seem to always check this site at the same time (perhaps it's just a French botnet, but whatever), the handful of Russians, Swedes and Germans, and then there's a few of you who just show up as "unknown region," which I like to pretend are the folks on International Space Station. Wherever and whoever you are, just know that I'm grateful for you and I hope that my rants, ramblings, and stray thoughts are entertaining and - perhaps - enlightening and relevant in your own lives.

Today, I'm sharing the video for "Fascination" by Red Sun Rising. For their video, they simply put the song over clips from the iconic film "Le Voyage Dans la Lune" by George Melies. This film is considered one of the greatest films of all time due to the influence that it had on the evolution of the art. I believe Netflix has the film in its entirety for you to view, if you're interested. In particular, comparing the original music to the film with modern rock as the backdrop does change how you perceive the story. "Fascination" makes the story seem more sinister and existentialist, versus being a carefree story about traveling to the moon.

Enjoy! And thanks for reading!

"Fascination" Video 

Monday, November 19, 2018

"The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice

This is kind of a sad song but I wanted to make sure I included it this month because it's really beautiful. "The Blower's Daughter" was featured in the film "Closer," which is one of those grown-up movies that I'm not sure I'm deep enough to understand. I'm not even sure if it was a good movie, but it has both Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman, so my assumption is that it probably was. The movie was about two couples whose stories interweaved as they cheated on each other with their counterpart from the other couple. Even after reading the plot summary, I'm not sure I quite get it.

Jude Law plays Dan, who meets Alice (Portman) in the beginning. After they've been dating a couple years, he writes a book about her. Then he meets Anna (Roberts) when he is getting his picture taken for the book cover. Dan tries to convince Anna to have an affair with him, which Alice overhears while she's in the bathroom. Anna refuses and in an act of revenge, he tricks a random sex addict from an online chat room, Larry (Clive Owen), to meet Anna. To Dan's dismay, Larry and Anna actually do start a relationship after meeting. Then, Dan and Anna finally have an affair before leaving Alice and Larry to be with each other. Paths criss-cross and you're meant to think that Dan and Anna are supposed to be together, as are Alice and Larry. However, in the end, Anna and Larry reunite and - although back together briefly at the end - Alice and Dan ultimately break up.

Now, Dan is clearly a manipulative sociopath - the audience realizes this from the very beginning. But the twist in the story is that Alice was lying about her name the entire time she was in a relationship with Dan. The only person in the story that knows her real name is Larry, who didn't believe her when she told him. The film begins and ends with scenes that mirror each other - Alice/Jane is walking down a busy street. The camera is fixed so that everyone around her is blurry and she stands out. Whereas in the first scene, she's dressed to stand out - she's wearing a wig, a lot of makeup, and a loud outfit - in the final scene, Jane appears more natural. This signifies an embrace of authenticity for the character, that she is singularly beautiful, whether she uses tricks to call attention to herself or not. She's made an impact on Dan and Larry, and they won't forget her any time soon.

And so it is just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is the shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

It's fairly clear what "The Blower's Daughter" is about. A relationship has ended - maybe it was mutual at the time, but the singer still misses the girl. There are a lot of theories surrounding where Damien Rice got the inspiration for "The Blower's Daughter" from. I won't repeat the biggest one, because he's already said that it was complete fiction. But the other popular theory is that he fell in love with his clarinet teacher's daughter, who was younger than him. Not by much, nothing sordid or anything, but she couldn't be with him. Eventually, he stopped taking lessons from the teacher, but he was still a bit obsessed with her. Whatever happened, Rice was in a lot of pain when he wrote this song. I think you can kind of hear it - the sadness as he strives to accept that it's over, the waver in his voice as he sings the first couple lyrics. That's what you look for in a good tragic love song. I know I keep saying this but....this is definitely in my Top 10 favorite songs. I'm pretty sure I'm up to 20 now, but....meh....who cares.

"The Blower's Daughter" Video

Sunday, November 18, 2018

"Black Sheep" by Metric

In my last post, I talked a bit about the Evil Ex Trope, but I neglected one important detail. Sometimes, we're the Evil Ex in someone else's story. And that is usually a fundamental obstacle on the Hero's Journey - making amends with those we've wronged, whether or not the wrong was intentional. Additionally, the Hero/ine is often presented with an opportunity to forgive those that have wronged them. This moving on - from both past mistakes and the pain caused by others - is a rite of passage for the Hero/ine and needed for them to realize their full potential.

"Black Sheep" is featured in "Scott Pilgrim vs the World," which is an excellent example to demonstrate this point. Scott Pilgrim has to fight Ramona Flowers' seven Evil Exes, but throughout the whole movie, his own callousness with Knives' heart is constantly in the background. We also see that he's kind of self-involved, resulting in him being kind of a super jerk to his friends. He has to resolve both of these conflicts before the end of the movie. Ultimately, he has to apologize to both Ramona and Knives for cheating on them in order for him to achieve his goal, which is to date Ramona.

It must be noted that apologies don't always fix everything and forgiveness doesn't always bring closure to the Hero/ine's pain. I was watching "Kung Fu Panda" this weekend and towards the end, Shifu apologizes to Tai Lung for building him up for a Destiny that wasn't his. It does makes Tai Lung pause for a second but then he continues on his destructive course, which ends with his demise. Although some peace is brought through this acknowledgement of the wrong he did to Tai Lung, Shifu is not completely relieved. He genuinely loved Tai Lung as a son and it is clear that his death is not the ending Shifu would've picked. This is important to remember in real life as well - that forgiveness and apologies are often the beginning of entirely new path.

Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when
Our common goal was waiting for the world to end
Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend
You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again

"Black Sheep" is about loving someone - friend, relative, significant other, doesn't matter - who has a tendency to push people away, especially people who actually care about them. Eventually, you just have to let them do it but be supportive if they come around. Pushing people away is a common coping mechanism for people who fear abandonment. They think that they're pre-empting the inevitable, because everyone they cared about always left before. Taylor Swift clearly has this problem. In fact, in one of her more recent songs, she actually has the lyric "you gotta leave before you get left." In her situation, though, she usually creates the conditions that would result in the person leaving anyway, because no one wants to (or should have to) deal with emotional abuse. From her songs, you can tell that she thinks this tactic makes her a strong woman, but in reality, it just leaves her more lonely and broken. As you can tell, I use my Psychology degree to spend way too much time analyzing pop stars. Some of them have healthy coping methods and some do not - I try to use what I understand from their situations to bring light to my own unresolved issues. It's called mirroring and I've found it incredibly useful in my shadow work. You'll notice that Scott Pilgrim also has to fight his shadow self - aptly called Nega-Scott. This is not a coincidence - it's a vital part of the Hero's Journey. In fact, it's the entire point of the Journey - to reconcile the dark and light side of yourself. In the end, Scott and Nega-Scott shake hands, knowing it probably won't be the last time they fight.

Post Note: You may have noticed I've been capitalizing certain words and phrases in my posts. I've been using that method to bring attention to literary themes and high-level narrative/philosophical concepts. This helps my understanding and I hope those reading find it helpful, too. I'm not just being free-styling with the capitals for my own amusement....I would never do that.

"Black Sheep" Video

Friday, November 16, 2018

"Xavia" by The Submarines

This past weekend, I tried to watch "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist." I got about 20 minutes in...then the baby woke up and put a stop to that nonsense. It's a cute indie romance and it's got a killer soundtrack, which includes "Xavia." Even though I didn't get to finish it, I remember the basic plot and I was thinking about several elements in the movie that I wanted to mull over. Out loud, to no one in particular.

The movie follows your basic True Love story architecture, which is actually a superplot of two stories. Especially in good films, the True Love plot is two Hero/Heroine's Journey stories combined into a single narrative. Both characters have to overcome obstacles - usually psychologically but sometimes physically - in order reach self-actualization and achieve the final goal. As you probably could've guessed, for most romances, the goal from the audience's perspective is "to be together." You get some variation from story to story, but that's the basic gist of the formula. "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" fits this format almost exactly and the thing that makes it a better romantic comedy is that it's balanced. It's not overly focused on either the guy or the girl. The audience gets to see both journeys, which are fairly well mirrored against each other. Although they are played out in different forms, both Nick and Norah have very similar problems with their self-esteem, which they need to overcome in order to attain happiness.

"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" uses the tropes of the Crazy-Evil (Ex)Girlfriend and the Milquetoast-Mediocre (Ex)Boyfriend. I have the "ex" in parentheses because, sometimes, these tropes come in the form of current girlfriends/boyfriends. Regardless, they both serve the same purpose - to help the hero/ine understand that they don't have to accept awful treatment in order to be loved. Nick, who is heartbroken over Tris at the beginning of the movie, realizes at the end that she's only trying to seduce him because she lost control over him. He was letting her lead him on like a puppy dog because he didn't think he could do better. Tris kind of believed it, too - and she's frustrated at the end because her physical beauty/sexuality doesn't have any hold over him anymore, which is the only power she really had in their relationship (Tris needs to do some growing, too, but it's not her movie). Conversely, Norah let her on-again-off-again fuck buddy, Tal, use her for her money and industry connections because she felt lonely. She finally breaks that pattern by seemingly giving in to his requests for her to pay their tab before serving up a dose of instant karma (spoiler: she tells the waitress to increase the tab and then leaves the bill for Tal to pay). Anyway, Nick and Norah both had to address their deeply held feelings of unworthy-ness and their patterns of letting people use them in order to reach the level of self-acceptance needed to be together.

I had more examples of these tropes and plot elements to go over but I didn't realize I had gotten so ranty over "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist." I also wanted to talk about how Norah had fallen in love with Nick before she even met him. This is also a common theme in romances - even before the Meet-Cute, the narrative drops hints for the audience that the two protagonists are on a crash course. In films, you can do this with clever visual cues (like the criss-crossing scene from "You've Got Mail") but usually, this is done in the exposition (the first 10-20 minutes of a film) as part of the world-building. In Norah's case, she finds that Nick has excellent taste in music - almost a perfect match to her taste. Not that this should be surprising - the songs for this movie were clearly chosen by a genius, which is why it has one of the best soundtracks of any film (romance, comedy, indie, or otherwise) ever.

I Don't Wanna be Your Favorite Enemy
Not when I can be Loving You, alright
Why can't it be?
No Two People feel the Same Way at the Same Time

When I first heard "Xavia," I was kind of obsessed with the last two lines of that verse. Because it seems true, doesn't it? Why can't two people ever feel the same way at the same time? But it's not true, because it has to happen at least occasionally or else no one would ever be in a relationship. We'd all be stuck in the ridiculous Hell that this song describes, where one person wants to make it work and the other is done with it. Probably one of the prettiest break-up songs I've ever heard, which makes it perfect for Nick and Norah. It's funny, because they have the opposite problem - the whole time, they both don't see that they feel the same about each other until the very end. At first, Norah is chasing Nick....until she realizes that Tris is his ex-girlfriend and she feels like she can't compete so why even try. Then, Nick chases Norah, realizing he fucked up by going with Tris, knowing that she's a manipulative snake. Again, another common theme in romances, the cat-and-mouse back-and-forth between the protagonists. It's more pronounced in other movies, and this post is already miles too long so I'll leave it for another day. Thanks for reading!

Post Note: Xavia is another one of those weird names I love that the Husband won't let me name our hypothetical daughter. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

"Xavia" Video



Monday, November 12, 2018

"Too Young" by Phoenix

Phoenix is a French band that sings in English. Naturally, when I discovered them, I thought they existed specifically for me and my francophone ilk. I fell in love with a single that came in a free compilation mix - "1901." However, as great as that song is, this is my favorite Phoenix song. It's from one of their debut album (not the masterpiece that is "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix") and I like to pretend it's my theme song on good days. It's bouncy, upbeat yet existentialist, and hopeful - much like myself. In an ironic twist, the Husband doesn't really like this song. Oh well.

"Too Young" is featured in "Shallow Hal" when Jack Black is dancing with a bevy of beauties who are actually "unattractive" women when the camera cuts away. "Shallow Hal" is one of those movies that I really shouldn't like but I do. The film is....problematic at best. It's dependent on the audience believing that someone's inner beauty can be translated into a representation of conventional attractiveness. For those who aren't familiar, Jack Black plays Hal, a man obsessed with finding a woman who meets his nigh impossible standard of physical beauty. One day, he meets self-help guru, Tony Robbins, in an elevator, who then hypnotizes Hal to only see a person's inner beauty. Afterward, he meets lady after lovely lady who, for some reason, are attracted to him, including Rosemary (Gwyneth Paltrow), his True Love. However, throughout the movie, the camera switches between what the hypnotized Hal sees and reality, which shows these women to be "unattractive," by conventional standards. In the end, Hal learns to see real beauty without being hypnotized and Rosemary carries him off into the sunset.

There are multiple concerns with "Shallow Hal," that I'm not even sure where to begin. First, there's a lot of fat jokes played off for laughs - for example, the svelte Paltrow looking at underwear in a much larger size at a posh lingerie store and then, later in the movie, she takes half of Hal's birthday cake and eats it with her hand. That shit probably wouldn't fly today. Additionally, the movie half implies that women who are kind, smart, funny, interesting, AND attractive do not exist. The only woman who is "beautiful" in reality is Hal's neighbor Jill and this is explained away that she still looks the same because Hal knew her before the hypnosis. We don't meet a woman in the movie who looks the same, regardless of whether or not Hal is hypnotized. But isn't that what would happen? If, hypothetically, an attractive woman who is as wonderful as Rosemary existed in the Shallow Hal universe, she would be her authentic self and the hypnosis wouldn't do anything. Or would the film makers feel compelled to make her more beautiful? How would you even do that? I fully realize I'm ranting now but, as someone who had to overcome some major insecurities regarding my appearance, I have concerns about how people perceive inner beauty. Is it something that can be quantified, qualified, and depicted on screen? I don't think so. It's hard enough for women to avoid comparing themselves to each other, now we have to compare ourselves to some idealized version of "inner beauty?" Thanks, Hollywood. This was supposed to be a short post about an awesome Phoenix song and now I'm just a tad pissed off.

I can't lie on my bed without thinking I was wrong
But when this feeling calls this world becomes another
Nighttime won't hold me in your arms again
I got a very good friend who says he can't believe the love I give
Is not enough to end your fears
I guess I couldn't live without the things that made my life what it is

Anyway, "Too Young" is about this guy who just broke up with a girl. He thought she was the one but it's over because they wanted different things and he's trying to get over it. Because he's too young, too young to settle down. He still has adventures to have, parties to attend, people to meet, and he's not ready for that to end. The girl in question - I'm assuming she wanted to get married and was tired of him going out at night. Afraid he wouldn't come home or would find someone else. There's a lot of insecurities and fears that are triggered when you discover you love someone who doesn't want the same things as you. Unfortunately, love is not enough in this situation and each of them have to do what's right for them. He understands this, that life will go on without this girl. It's okay to feel sad about it for a moment, but in the end, you have to keep on dancing.

"Too Young" Video

Saturday, November 10, 2018

"Dreams" by The Cranberries

There are two types of people in this world. People who love Meg Ryan movies....and people who don't. I'm one of the former so expect to see another Meg-Ryan-movie-related song to come up later this month. One of my favorite movies is "You've Got Mail," which is based on a old Jimmy Stewart film, "The Shop Around the Corner." It's basically the same plot, except that "You've Got Mail" is set in the late 90s and the plot centers around email instead of the standard post. Obviously, you know I think it's a great movie but, if I had to choose one scene, my favorite part is at the beginning.

There are certain rules that romantic comedies - and most romances, now that I think of it - have to follow. I've mentioned it before but the number one rule is that the two lovers have to be different but, somehow, the same. And usually, they want the same ultimate goal - to be free, to have adventures, to be successful, to be able to marry for love, whatever. The differences arise in how they have chosen to go about achieving that end goal, which results in complications for their love story that have to be resolved before they can be together. It's usually not as obvious as it is in "You've Got Mail" - in the movie, Meg Ryan plays independent book store owner, Kathleen Kelly. Tom Hanks (it's always fucking Tom Hanks) plays Joe Fox, the owner of a chain of mega-bookstores who plans to open a branch in the same neighborhood as Kelly's little shop (aptly named The Shop Around the Corner, an homage to the film's earlier inspiration). Although business rivals in real life, they are internet pen pals who became fast friends on AIM one night. However, they don't know that, but the audience does and the fun is knowing that these two are secretly in love with each other and don't realize it.

Returning to why I love the beginning, this different but the same rule is adeptly highlighted in how their mornings start. They both wait until their respective significant others leave for work, they make a show of making sure their SOs are really gone, then they excitedly go to their computers and they wait patiently for the Internet to start (ah yes....that harsh dial-up sound does bring a bittersweet sting to the cockles of this old Millennial's heart). Kathleen and Joe both are hoping for an email from each other and get a rush of happiness when they see that their faith was not in vain. Throughout the movie, they tell each other everything over email - mundane things, happy things, their favorite movies - things normal people wouldn't tell a complete stranger. But they never run out of things to say and they are happy to have a person they can share their authentic self with, even if they never meet. Even when Kathleen thinks her pen pal stood her up when they had planned to meet...but he didn't! Joe showed up but Kathleen was so caught up in her personal drama of losing her family business because of Fox Books, that she doesn't catch on. That's another rule of romantic comedies - the guy is usually the first one to realize there's something there and initiate contact. It's usually like a love at first sight kinda thing during the Meet-Cute and it has to happen to move the story forward. He's also the one who has to bring the story full circle with the Grand Romantic Gesture.

And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

Oh my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And oh my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
'Cause you're a dream to me
Dream to me

Went on sort of a side tangent there on the Rom-Com rules - we'll get into more of those thematic elements in later posts. As you can see, I've probably spent way to much time analyzing these movies but - what can I say? - I'm a writer and a film buff. That's what my mind does in its free time - it thinks deeply about seemingly meaningless shit. Like the opening to "You've Got Mail"....because I haven't even gotten to my favorite part yet! Yes, it's cute how Kathleen and Joe's mornings mirror each other but my favorite part is when they're walking to work. They take essentially the same route to their respective destinations and they keep criss-crossing but they never meet, they never even see each other. It brings to mind this idea that them meeting later in the movie is kismet - it's meant to be. Like things couldn't have happened any other way because they had to meet eventually. It was only a matter of time and everything that came before was leading up to that moment. During this criss-crossing scene, "Dreams" by the Cranberries is playing, which sets the perfect backdrop. It's wistful and upbeat, and these elements combined make the overall song sound...hopeful. Anyway, including this scene as one of the videos so you understand what I mean.

"Dreams" Official Video



Opening Scene from "You've Got Mail"

Thursday, November 8, 2018

"Come Sail Away" by Styx

Staying on this theme of The Hero's Journey for this week, there is also a feminine version called The Heroine's Journey. I've been digging into this, because it is such a central narrative (and I've been gradually falling in love with writing again). It's basically the same thing, except it's more focused on self-acceptance. It's more conscious in that way, because the Heroine understands that there is something she's missing from her life from the beginning. She's probably been searching for it all her life but she usually doesn't start the journey in earnest until the reader meets her. I'm going to talk about a specific version of the Heroine's Journey, that of Lindsay Weir from "Freaks and Geeks." Unfortunately, the show only lasted a season but it was pretty brilliant and it's on Netflix if you're interested.

Lindsay Weir is the Smart Girl, but she's not sure she wants to be. That's the narrative her parents chose for her. However, that's not the only thing she is and she knows that, so as a way to rebel, she befriends a group of stoners. Mostly because the head stoner - played by James Franco - is cute. Thus begins her adventures and the show follows her and her brother, Sam, as they navigate the awkwardness of high school. Like all coming of age stories, Lindsay makes some mistakes, meets new friends that give her a new perspective, confronts conflicts with her family, has her heart broken, and breaks a heart of her own.

The heart that she breaks - Nick (played by Jason Segel) - was likely supposed to evolve into a full True Love story arc, had the show continued. Nick immediately falls for Lindsay when she starts hanging out with the stoners and he comes on a little too strong. Insanely strong, in some cases. There's a scene in one of the later episodes where Nick serenades Lindsay with a ballad. Lindsay is super embarrassed and while it is a little cringeworthy, it's also incredibly sweet and it's hard not to fall in love with Nick. That's the first time I fell in love with Jason Segel - the 2nd time was when he's singing a song from his Dracula musical in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," and the 3rd time was practically every single episode of "How I Met Your Mother." And I don't even think Jason Segel is that attractive - he's freakishly tall and has kind of an average face. But he's funny and sweet and sincere in every role that he's in, which is why he makes a good love interest in romantic comedies.

I look to the sea reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

I went on a little bit of a rant there, so let's bring it home. I like to think that I'm following the Heroine's Journey in my own life, especially when I run up against experiences that bring me to my knees and make me address my darker shadows. I try to ask myself, "What am I supposed to learn from this?" I hate to say that everything happens for a reason, because that's not exactly true. Sometimes bad things happen to you or you make mistakes that seemed unavoidable at the time - yes, elements might've been out of your control but it's what you make of it afterward that becomes who you are. I read somewhere (pretty sure it was "Eat, Pray, Love") that Heaven and Hell are the same place, you just take different paths to get there. On one path, you choose happiness and self-love; on the other, you choose sadness and self-hate. Either way, the choice is yours to make.

"Come Sail Away" plays at the end of the first episode of "Freaks and Geeks," at the Homecoming dance. Lindsay's punishment for the events that transpire during the first episode is that she has to man the punch bowl at the dance. At the beginning of the song, it's clear that Lindsay is annoyed that she's in this situation and even a bit embarrassed of how she got there. But when it gets to chorus, she decides to go on the dance floor and just dance. By herself, for herself, damn whoever is watching and how stupid she looks. It doesn't matter, because she's having fun. She makes the choice that, even though she's in a shitty situation because of her own actions, she's going to enjoy where she's at. If you listen to the lyrics of "Come Sail Away," I don't think there's a better song to play alongside Lindsay as she makes this fundamental choice for her story.

Side note: I love Styx because I grew up with Styx. Yes, it's great music, but I was also a nut about Greek mythology when I was a kid. The River Styx is the border that separates the Underworld from Earth. The dead must cross Styx by paying the ferryman, Charon, and it was rumored that the waters could make one invulnerable. Achilles mother, a nereid, dipped him in the lake and he was invulnerable except for his left heel, which is what she held him by when she put him in the water. Obviously, there's a lot of meaning behind that name - rebirth, difficult journeys and - most of all - crossing over. One of my favorite writers, Elizabeth Gilbert of "Eat, Pray, Love" fame, has a favorite Italian word. It's attraversiamo, which means "let's cross over." I think there's a wise beauty in that choice.

"Come Sail Away" Video


Nick Serenades Lindsay

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

"Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas

Yesterday felt like the longest day of my life. I'm pretty sure it was measurable - relativity was not on my side. Ten minutes seemed to last an hour and by the end of the day, I'm certain I aged at least eight months. Which is weird, because thinking back now, the last year seems like it moved with lightening speed. Can I hit rewind, please? Nope, can't, gotta keep moving forward, even if I feel a little lost. Honestly, I haven't felt this crazy since I was 19-years-old and - boy! - those were some crazy years. Fun years, true, but extremely turbulent. I don't have the luxury of going down that rabbit hole this time. I have people who are actually counting on me now.

Anyway, yesterday morning started off with "Carry On Wayward Son," which felt....appropriate. Because it is about moving forward, even as chaos closes in. For those who aren't familiar, "Wayward Son" is the theme for "Supernatural." They always play it during the season finale episode during a montage of all the madness the Winchester brothers encountered that season. I watched up to season 5, which is where the story arc the original writers imagined ended. After that, it seemed like the plot fell apart and they kept making episodes because it was successful, which is what most shows do. TV executives don't care that all stories need to end sometime, they just want to milk them as long as they can keep making money. I think "Supernatural" is still on TV, too. From my understanding, most of the people still watching it are doing so because the Winchester boys are hot. It's true. Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki might possibly be the two most handsome men on TV right now. In fact, I'm almost certain they are, because I have high standards. And, from what I've heard, they're also super nice - I have a friend who regularly goes to "Supernatural" fan conventions and has met the cast several times.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say

Let's delve into these lyrics, shall we? Now, all progressive rock song lyrics are a little out there. It was released in 1976 - I expect nothing less than trippy weirdness. But, rough allusions to Greek mythology and too long guitar breaks aside, the message is poignant. I was talking to my friend/coworker about The Hero's Journey, which is simultaneously a master plot archetype and the name of a book on said plot archetype. It begins with the hero being presented with a quest - a quest the hero initially rejects, because they're comfortable where they are in life. Still, they are curious. Then, something happens which makes setting off on the quest unavoidable for our hero. On the journey, the hero encounters conflict after conflict, experiences the full breadth of life they were missing - happiness, sadness, betrayal, victory, etc. - and, all the while, they are growing. By they end, they aren't the same character.  They realize that, though they have learned much, they know nothing ("You know nothing, Jon Snow." One of my favorite catch phrases in GoT). They have grown to love people they wouldn't have thought they would ever meet. They've developed their intuition, gained trust and confidence in their own abilities, in their own strength. They have gone from protagonist to fully-developed hero. And their reward is the resolution at the end - the turmoil dissolves into inner peace, they feel fulfilled, and they can finally rest. If you're looking for it, most great stories follow the Hero's Journey. Harry Potter. The Lord of the Rings. Jesus. "Supernatural" is no exception.

The Infamous Winchester Smolder
Sam Winchester was just like you or me at the beginning of the series. Sure, his childhood was weird and dysfunctional but he was trying to be normal. And then his god damned brother, Dean, shows up, claiming his father was kidnapped and demons/supernatural beings are real. Sam tells him to basically GTFO. Then, his girlfriend - the girl he was going to marry - is murdered by a demon right in front of him. It would've been pretty traumatic, now that I think of it. Anyway, he has to go with his brother and confront everything he's been afraid of - the mistakes he's made, his fucked up childhood, and his inner demon (literally). He also has to face the fact that maybe he doesn't know what Reality and Truth are because every day, a new monster pops up. Every day, he has to believe in something he didn't believe in before. Holy shit! That's terrifying! And exhausting! It's understandable why some people would not want to do that. But, they should take comfort that there is peace at the end - assuming you're not on a highly profitable TV show. Poor Sam Winchester - that kid ain't ever gonna get a break.

"Carry On Wayward Son" Audio

Sunday, November 4, 2018

"I Love You Too Much" from "The Book of Life"

Rounding out this weekend of sad love songs and Mexican culture, I decided to watch "Book of Life" with my son, because it's a cute movie and there are so few movies that feature the light side of Dia de Muertos. Whenever you see Dia de Muertos in adult movies, it's all about Santa Muerte and skulls and darkness, which sublimates the true meaning of the celebration. It's supposed to be happy - death is just the next phase of our journey and our loved ones are never really gone if they live on in our hearts. It's odd but Samhain and Dia de los Muertos - they're all about love, they just happen to focus on the dark parts we don't really like to deal with the rest of the year. The grief, the heartbreak when someone has passed away. And it's also about the hope - hope that we'll see them again, that they're in a good place, that they're watching us and proud of what we've become.

Moving on - this is probably one of my most favorite animated films. It's colorful - lots of bright greens and pinks and yellows, like you would see during a Dia de Muertos celebration. Of course it's going to be visually gorgeous - Guillermo del Toro is the director and, regardless of what you think of his work, he has a clear aesthetic vision that carries through all his movies. He's very similar to Wes Anderson and Christopher Nolan, in that way. Additionally, he cast a strong ensemble - Diego Luna (Manolo) and Channing Tatum (Joaquin) play two best friends in love with the same girl (Maria), played by Zoe Saldana. Hector Elizondo as Manolo's bullfighting father. Ron Perlman as Xibalba and Kate del Castillo as La Muerte. All fairly brilliant actors on their own but together, they brought the story to life. I also really liked that the characters were designed to resemble wooden dolls - if you see the beginning of the movie, you'd understand. Essentially, it's a story being told within a story and the narrator is using the dolls to re-enact events.

Finally, the film incorporates contemporary and original songs and, like many children's movies, music plays an integral part of telling the story. In "Book of Life," Manolo (the main protagonist) is a matador who wants to be a musician. He also thinks killing the bull after the fight is wrong (I agree), which is one of the many reasons why Maria loves him and not Joaquin. After the big bull fight in Maria's honor - where Manolo refuses to kill the bull and disgraces the Sanchez family - Manolo serenades Maria with "I Love You Too Much." It's a beautiful song and Diego Luna's voice makes me kind of want to die. Maybe it's the accent.

I love you too much
To live without you loving me back
I love you too much
Heaven's my witness and this is a fact

I know I belong
When I sing this song
There's love above love and it's ours
Cause I love you too much

After the song, Maria giggles and refuses to kiss Manolo, asking "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" But you know he had her heart before even began singing. Manolo makes a lot of grand gestures during the film but none of them are necessary. All a girl wants to know is that you're thinking of her, that you notice when she's gone, that you care about her opinion. And if she loves you, she accepts you for who you are and wants you to be you. This is the great lesson that Manolo has learn to escape the Land of the Forgotten and get his life back. That he's worthy of love - not just Maria's but his father's and his family's love as well - just the way he is, regardless of whether he is a bullfighter or a musician.

I'm telling you, I've got this love story formula all figured out now. I should start writing goddamn romance novels - I hear that business is pretty lucrative.

"I Love You Too Much" Clip

Saturday, November 3, 2018

"I'm Kissing You" by Des'ree

I'm not a big fan of "Romeo & Juliet." I think the story is kind of silly - two teenagers have a brief fling that ends up with like nine people being killed and a suicide pact. Sounds ridiculous and foolish. But I do like Baz Lurhmann's interpretation with Claire Danes and Leonardo Dicaprio. My AP English teacher in 9th grade had us watch it instead of the 1968 film starring Olivia Hussey. He said that the storytelling, and the ending especially, seemed more impactful. I'm inclined to agree. But I love Baz Luhrmann films because they are so decadent and colorful and outlandishly lavish. Overall, I think his version is more effective mostly because Claire Danes is plainly a better actor than Olivia Hussey. Her Juliet just seemed more believable and tragically beautiful - watching her, I knew she loved Romeo and Romeo (Dicaprio) loved her back. Passionately. And it was easier to think that you can fall in love in an instant and have it last forever. I want to believe that, if Romeo and Juliet had not been young and stupid, they would've stayed together and still be as in love as in those first three days. But I know how unlikely that is. Cynical as it is, he would grow distant and she would become disenchanted. Happily ever after is only true in fairy tales, so maybe it's better they both died in the end.

For a brief moment a few months back, I thought I understood the story. In the beginning, they were both sad and lonely. Romeo had been recently rejected by a girl he thought he loved immensely, Rosalind. And Juliet - well, her mother didn't really know how to show her affection and she was being pushed into a marriage of convenience. Sure, Count Paris is handsome (it's fucking Paul Rudd...fuck yeah, he's handsome) and rich, but Juliet is young and she wants more. They were both a little broken. Then, this party happens and Romeo and Juliet are brought together by chance. Neither of them were looking for it, but when they meet, it's like lightening. Like it's supposed to happen. In the Baz Luhrmann version, this is the song that's playing when they meet at the party. During the infamous "fish tank" scene. I love that scene. I would say it's one of my favorite scenes in all of cinematic history. Mostly because of this song. But it's weird though - that scene is supposed to be happy and magical and this song is unimaginably sad when you actually listen to the lyrics. I can't help but cry, sometimes (which makes writing this post especially difficult...).

Des'ree is singing about a love that's seemingly over and she's clinging to the memory of a kiss. Just a kiss. And at the end, she's asking, "Where are you now?" , because he (or she) is not there anymore. Maybe he's dead or maybe he's disappeared. More than likely, he disappeared. I guess that's what you'd call foreshadowing. Maybe we're not meant to be happy that Romeo met Juliet, because that's the beginning of the end for them. Sure, they are destined to be together but not in life. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you, my soul cried
Heaving heart is full of pain
Oh, oh, the aching
'Cause, I'm kissing you oh
I'm kissing you oh

Touch me deep, pure and true gift to me forever
'Cause, I'm kissing you
Oh, I'm kissing you, oh
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Cause, I'm kissing you
I'm kissing you, oh

Yes, seriously. Those are all the lyrics and the song is nearly 5 minutes long. But I could (and do) listen to it over and over, that's how good it is.

I do kind of love Shakespeare, though, and the various adaptations of his plays. Some of the greatest teen romances of the 90s and early 2000s are based on them, as you'll see. My older sister, M, had this old, battered book of all Shakespeare's plays and sonnets that she stole from the high school we went to. I used to borrow it to practice my acting skillz. I had my favorite monologues - Ophelia from "Hamlet," Hermia from "A Midsummer Night's Dream," Beatrice from "Much Ado about Nothing." But by far my favorite was one of Juliet's monologues. Not the balcony scene....that's too predictable. No, my favorite Juliet monologue is the soliloquy she delivers before she takes the sleeping draught Friar Laurence gives her to make it seem like she died. It seems especially dramatic, because at the end, she's hallucinating that she sees Tybalt's ghost. And at the end, the performer gets to pretend to die. That's always fun.

In addition to the song video, I'm including the fish tank scene from "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet." Because this month is more about the movies than the music. I was thinking of this particular movie recently because John Mulaney and his wife dressed up as Leo and Claire this Halloween and instantly won Best Couple's Costume of 2018, hands down.

Fish Tank Scene



"I'm Kissing You" Video (Just the song)







Friday, November 2, 2018

"Remember Me" from "Coco"

Today is Dia de los Muertos, which is celebrated by people of Mexican heritage as a way to honor the Dead and guide them on their spiritual journey. Celebrations usually start on Halloween and culminates on All Souls' Day (Nov 2), a Catholic day of remembrance for all the souls in Purgatory. Hopefully, that includes mine. Ever since I learned about Purgatory in catechism, I assumed that's where we already are. Just waiting to die, be judged, and sent to wherever we deserve to be - Heaven or Hell, anything is better than the waiting. It's funny, though, because I believe in reincarnation. It doesn't make sense when I think of it - if this is Purgatorio, why would I want to come back? I suppose I would if I had unfinished business, but I'm still hoping I can clear all that up in this lifetime.

I am of Mexican heritage but my family never really celebrated Dia de Muertos, not fully anyway. Not with Aztec Marigolds and calaveras. But my grandma does have her ofrenda, though we didn't know that's what it was when I was growing up. I just assumed she liked having pictures of her loved ones around. When Los Alamos caught on fire in 2011, my grandparents had to evacuate and they didn't have enough time to get her pictures down. Luckily, their house didn't catch fire but it was badly smoke damaged. When they were doing repairs on the house, you could see the outlines of the frames on the wallpaper. It was kind of ghostly, like a reminder of the memories she could've lost. I know they're just pictures, but they're all we have of our loved ones sometimes. Our minds can forget, but film is (almost) forever. And, while looking at a photograph, the memories come back like they were never gone - and with them, everything we felt during that time in our lives.

I watched "Coco" yesterday with my son. I think I was just looking for an acceptable excuse to cry. And cry I did because - damn it - that movie is so unexpectedly sad. When I first saw it in theaters, I was unprepared but I should've known better. When I was younger, I never used to cry at the movies. But I'm older now and a couple decades of heartbreak and disappointment have worked their terrible magic, I guess, and now...I can't help it. I have a good memory, too. I've always envied people with shitty memories - they are unburdened by the lyrics of a thousand songs and can watch movies based on books without focusing on every wrong detail. They say Cancers forgive, but never forget. I wonder if you can every truly forgive if you can't forget. I'm not sure you can. Anyway, I've been crying a lot lately but it's my own fault.

Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me
Don't let it make you cry
For even if I'm far away, I hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart
Remember me
Though I have to travel far
Remember me
Each time you hear a sad guitar
Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be
Until you're in my arms again
Remember me

Today, we're supposed to celebrate our Honored Dead, so here's who I'm thinking about tonight. My Uncle Danny, who used to take me and my little sister to his softball games during the summer - I didn't get to go to his funeral and, even though it wasn't my fault, I still feel guilty. My Aunt LeAnn, who died around this time last year and was one of the most joyful people I've ever known. My Grandma Anna and Grandpa Rosario, who taught me to love opera and be proud of my Italian heritage. And, finally, my beloved puppy, Gwen, who was the best dog that ever lived and, without whom, I don't think I would've survived my teenage years. I'm going to wrap this up now, because my heart hurts. So much so, that I kind of wish I didn't have one.

I'm including two versions of the song. The lullaby, which will probably make you cry, and the modern version sung by Miguel, which includes the Spanish translation sung by Natalia Lafourcade. Happy November!

"Remember Me (Lullaby)"



"Remember Me (Miguel Version)"

Thursday, November 1, 2018

November Theme: Where have I heard that before?

For November, I've decided to pick songs from movies and TV shows. In particular, I've picked a few from some of my favorite movies. No post today, but tomorrow, I have something in mind for Dia de los Muertos. Good night!