"Remember Me" from "Coco"

Today is Dia de los Muertos, which is celebrated by people of Mexican heritage as a way to honor the Dead and guide them on their spiritual journey. Celebrations usually start on Halloween and culminates on All Souls' Day (Nov 2), a Catholic day of remembrance for all the souls in Purgatory. Hopefully, that includes mine. Ever since I learned about Purgatory in catechism, I assumed that's where we already are. Just waiting to die, be judged, and sent to wherever we deserve to be - Heaven or Hell, anything is better than the waiting. It's funny, though, because I believe in reincarnation. It doesn't make sense when I think of it - if this is Purgatorio, why would I want to come back? I suppose I would if I had unfinished business, but I'm still hoping I can clear all that up in this lifetime.

I am of Mexican heritage but my family never really celebrated Dia de Muertos, not fully anyway. Not with Aztec Marigolds and calaveras. But my grandma does have her ofrenda, though we didn't know that's what it was when I was growing up. I just assumed she liked having pictures of her loved ones around. When Los Alamos caught on fire in 2011, my grandparents had to evacuate and they didn't have enough time to get her pictures down. Luckily, their house didn't catch fire but it was badly smoke damaged. When they were doing repairs on the house, you could see the outlines of the frames on the wallpaper. It was kind of ghostly, like a reminder of the memories she could've lost. I know they're just pictures, but they're all we have of our loved ones sometimes. Our minds can forget, but film is (almost) forever. And, while looking at a photograph, the memories come back like they were never gone - and with them, everything we felt during that time in our lives.

I watched "Coco" yesterday with my son. I think I was just looking for an acceptable excuse to cry. And cry I did because - damn it - that movie is so unexpectedly sad. When I first saw it in theaters, I was unprepared but I should've known better. When I was younger, I never used to cry at the movies. But I'm older now and a couple decades of heartbreak and disappointment have worked their terrible magic, I guess, and now...I can't help it. I have a good memory, too. I've always envied people with shitty memories - they are unburdened by the lyrics of a thousand songs and can watch movies based on books without focusing on every wrong detail. They say Cancers forgive, but never forget. I wonder if you can every truly forgive if you can't forget. I'm not sure you can. Anyway, I've been crying a lot lately but it's my own fault.

Remember me

Though I have to say goodbye

Remember me

Don't let it make you cry

For even if I'm far away, I hold you in my heart

I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart

Remember me

Though I have to travel far

Remember me

Each time you hear a sad guitar

Know that I'm with you the only way that I can be

Until you're in my arms again

Remember me

Today, we're supposed to celebrate our Honored Dead, so here's who I'm thinking about tonight. My Uncle Danny, who used to take me and my little sister to his softball games during the summer - I didn't get to go to his funeral and, even though it wasn't my fault, I still feel guilty. My Aunt LeAnn, who died around this time last year and was one of the most joyful people I've ever known. My Grandma Anna and Grandpa Rosario, who taught me to love opera and be proud of my Italian heritage. And, finally, my beloved puppy, Gwen, who was the best dog that ever lived and, without whom, I don't think I would've survived my teenage years. I'm going to wrap this up now, because my heart hurts. So much so, that I kind of wish I didn't have one.

I'm including two versions of the song. The lullaby, which will probably make you cry, and the modern version sung by Miguel, which includes the Spanish translation sung by Natalia Lafourcade. Happy November!

"Remember Me (Lullaby)"

"Remember Me (Miguel Version)"