In my last post, I talked a bit about the Evil Ex Trope, but I neglected one important detail. Sometimes, we're the Evil Ex in someone else's story. And that is usually a fundamental obstacle on the Hero's Journey - making amends with those we've wronged, whether or not the wrong was intentional. Additionally, the Hero/ine is often presented with an opportunity to forgive those that have wronged them. This moving on - from both past mistakes and the pain caused by others - is a rite of passage for the Hero/ine and needed for them to realize their full potential.
"Black Sheep" is featured in "Scott Pilgrim vs the World," which is an excellent example to demonstrate this point. Scott Pilgrim has to fight Ramona Flowers' seven Evil Exes, but throughout the whole movie, his own callousness with Knives' heart is constantly in the background. We also see that he's kind of self-involved, resulting in him being kind of a super jerk to his friends. He has to resolve both of these conflicts before the end of the movie. Ultimately, he has to apologize to both Ramona and Knives for cheating on them in order for him to achieve his goal, which is to date Ramona.
It must be noted that apologies don't always fix everything and forgiveness doesn't always bring closure to the Hero/ine's pain. I was watching "Kung Fu Panda" this weekend and towards the end, Shifu apologizes to Tai Lung for building him up for a Destiny that wasn't his. It does makes Tai Lung pause for a second but then he continues on his destructive course, which ends with his demise. Although some peace is brought through this acknowledgement of the wrong he did to Tai Lung, Shifu is not completely relieved. He genuinely loved Tai Lung as a son and it is clear that his death is not the ending Shifu would've picked. This is important to remember in real life as well - that forgiveness and apologies are often the beginning of entirely new path.
Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when
Our common goal was waiting for the world to end
Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend
You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again
"Black Sheep" is about loving someone - friend, relative, significant other, doesn't matter - who has a tendency to push people away, especially people who actually care about them. Eventually, you just have to let them do it but be supportive if they come around. Pushing people away is a common coping mechanism for people who fear abandonment. They think that they're pre-empting the inevitable, because everyone they cared about always left before. Taylor Swift clearly has this problem. In fact, in one of her more recent songs, she actually has the lyric "you gotta leave before you get left." In her situation, though, she usually creates the conditions that would result in the person leaving anyway, because no one wants to (or should have to) deal with emotional abuse. From her songs, you can tell that she thinks this tactic makes her a strong woman, but in reality, it just leaves her more lonely and broken. As you can tell, I use my Psychology degree to spend way too much time analyzing pop stars. Some of them have healthy coping methods and some do not - I try to use what I understand from their situations to bring light to my own unresolved issues. It's called mirroring and I've found it incredibly useful in my shadow work. You'll notice that Scott Pilgrim also has to fight his shadow self - aptly called Nega-Scott. This is not a coincidence - it's a vital part of the Hero's Journey. In fact, it's the entire point of the Journey - to reconcile the dark and light side of yourself. In the end, Scott and Nega-Scott shake hands, knowing it probably won't be the last time they fight.
Post Note: You may have noticed I've been capitalizing certain words and phrases in my posts. I've been using that method to bring attention to literary themes and high-level narrative/philosophical concepts. This helps my understanding and I hope those reading find it helpful, too. I'm not just being free-styling with the capitals for my own amusement....I would never do that.
"Black Sheep" Video
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