"Only Hope" by Mandy Moore

I love this song and wanted to figure out some way to feature it. "A Walk to Remember" is one of the quintessential romance movies that defined the Millennial ethos on Love. Between this movie, "10 Things I Hate About You," "Save the Last Dance," and "Titanic," it primed an entire generation (especially the younger half) to believe that love can overcome insurmountable obstacles. Even Death, as it turns out. As one of those hopeless people who still believes in true love - real True Love - I've decided to take a closer look at how the romance movie formula takes shape and how that affects the trajectory of the Hero's Journey.

I was recently considering the effect meeting an authentically beautiful soul has on the Hero and his trajectory. In a lot of romance movies - especially romantic tragedies, such as "A Walk to Remember" - one of the two main protagonists is one of these Beautiful Souls. Often times, they are so Pure of Heart that it is to their detriment, and they begin the story as outcasts or ignored because their authenticity makes it difficult to blend in. The Beautiful Soul is often the female lead (there's a reason for this and we'll get to it), but it can be the male lead, as we see in Moulin Rouge. This character generally has a flat arc, in that they believe in something ardently and their entire storyline is centered around testing that conviction. For example, Christian in "Moulin Rouge" believes in Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and Love. Above all else, Love. For Jamie (Mandy Moore's character) in "A Walk to Remember," she truly believes that Landon (Shane West) is a good person, despite the bad, hurtful things he does. This character's mission is to show the other protagonist, through the example of their own authenticity, how to believe in whatever the Beautiful Soul already has faith in. The other protagonist is charged with going through the transformation - to have faith in something, even if it's fleeting. Satine believes in the power of Love before she dies. Landon believes that he's a good person and continues on the path of good, even after Jamie dies. Oh yeah - that's the thing about romantic tragedies - the characters involved usually aren't supposed to be in love with each other for certain reasons, often societal (i.e., race, age, socioeconomic disparities, betrothal to another, long-standing family vendettas) or biological (i.e., a terminal illness, a curse that can't be broken, or Death in one of her other unfortunate guises). Usually someone dies. That is the core choice of the Hero's Love Story - they make a choice to fall in love, even though they know they shouldn't. Even though they know it is short-lived. True Love doesn't always last forever for many reasons, but it would have if circumstances were different. However, it always leaves the protagonist fundamentally reformed as a more authentic version of themselves. This is the alchemical process of the Hero's Journey - to turn lead into gold and often the medium that helps the Hero achieve that is some combination of Love, Faith, and Courage.

There's a song that's inside

Of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write

Over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again

Let's go into what makes a fantasy romance, because the "Like Stories of Old" channel I've been watching brought up some good points that I only just realized are essential to romances. First, the Lovers are put into a position where they are forced to get to know each other. Some examples: They are stuck together on a long train ride, spending the summer vacation in the same location, or they are working together on a play. In some cases, such as in "A Walk to Remember," they may have been aware of each other for a long time but only get to know each other as a result of being put into a situation where they must interact. Whatever the circumstances are, they always remove whatever barriers there are to the romance and support further intimacy between the characters. Second, they both make the choice to fall in love together. There is no chasing - there's no need for it. The process feels abnormally natural, such that there's no awkwardness or the awkwardness is gotten out of the way relatively quickly. It usually helps that the characters, at least internally, are caring and romantic. They do believe in Love, even if previous experiences have made them cynical. Finally, the circumstances are only there for a short amount of time. It's not that the love has a shelf-life (True Love doesn't and will stick around long after the protagonists separate), but the opportunity to enjoy the romance is short-lived. Reality will come crashing in eventually and separation is inevitable. That's the difference between a romantic comedy and a romantic tragedy. If the characters are reunited, it's a comedy; if the separation is permanent (or if they can only be reunited in death), it's a tragedy. 

The scene in "A Walk to Remember" where "Only Hope" is featured is one of my favorite scenes in film. It's during the school play and Jamie is singing the song, during which, she looks like an absolute angel. This is a key point. This is the "Meeting with the Goddess" moment on Landon's journey, where the full weight of Jamie's beauty, kindness, and general good-ness cannot be ignored. He can't look away - everything has been unveiled to him and he must make the choice to pursue it. And he does, with a simple kiss, which is implied to be unscripted. There's also a moment at the end where his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend gets visibly jealous at seeing them together. That's often another element in romantic tragedies - there is another woman, often a femme fatale, who cannot stand to see the Goddess triumph. This woman is not always linked romantically to the Hero. Sometimes, shes simply jealous of the Goddess because of her beauty and/or talent, such as Nini in "Moulin Rouge." Or it's an overbearing mother who doesn't want her daughter to waste her life on a man she deems as unfit ("Titanic" and "The Notebook"). In the end, this leads to another test for the Lovers - often the ultimate test, before they finally end up together (for however long Fate decides).

It should be noted that this song is actually about Jamie's faith in God, but the lyrics were written purposefully so that it could be inferred that she was referring to her growing feelings for Landon. I could keep ranting because I'm pretty sure I missed a few points that were jumbled in my head earlier today, but I'll keep that to myself (or, more likely, write an entire literary analysis that I don't show anyone). Enjoy the following clip from "A Walk to Remember"!

"Only Hope" Video

"Style" by Taylor Swift (as performed by Postmodern Jukebox)

I managed to fit in some Taylor Swift, even though (by definition) she does not fall into the retro-futuristic genre. But she is quite old-fashioned. Cancer placements have that effect. We tend to have a rosy picture of the past and a significant nostalgic streak. Especially relationships, even when (in saner moments) we're able to acknowledge that the other person never really gave a shit about us but about how we made them "feel." This results in what can look like we're going in circles, playing out the same stories hoping to get different results. Loving and giving and getting nothing in return, letting go because we're drained, exhausted and not getting what we need, then letting them back in because of some misplaced hope that things will work out. All love stories should have happy endings or some bullshit. I submit T-Swift's music (and love life) as Exhibit A. And poor Taylor is a Cancer moon, which I would argue is just as bad (possibly worse) as a Cancer sun because the moon is Cancer's ruler. But, that being said, her lyrics paint a pretty picture of young romance, the epic quest for True Love, and life in general. Every verse evokes a scene from a movie - replete with camera flares and fourth wall breaks - which appeals to me because I have a tendency to imagine myself as the heroine in my own suspensefully tragic romantic dramady.

"Style" is about one of Swift's on-again-off-again relationships. More specifically, about a having a connection with someone that is so special and seems to click so well that you keep coming back to them ("We never go out of style"). However, she's well aware of how things ended in the past (i.e., terribly). She just doesn't care. She'll keep letting this dumbass break her heart every time because it feels right when she's in it. We call that not learning the lesson. The lesson being - walk away, he's clearly not good for you because there was a reason you broke up with him in the first place.

So it goes, he can't keep his wild eyes on the road

Takes me home, lights are off he's taking off his coat (Hm yeah)

I say "I've heard that you've been out and about with some other girl, some other girl"

He says "What you've heard is true but I

Can't stop thinking about you" and I

I said "I've been there too a few times"

As I said, Taylor Swift's language is classic romance films circa 1935-1955, the Golden Age of Hollywood (because the dieselpunk era was a "golden age" for a lot of things), so let's just take a brief look at the lyrics. Her love interest has that "James Dean, day dream look in his eye" (a dangerous look indeed - a solid right hook usually does the trick). The James Dean reference doesn't end there - he's picking her up in his car and she mentions that their dalliance could end in "burning flames." A subtle - albeit mildly distasteful - nod to James Dean's death when he crashed his beloved Porsche 550 Spyder. It's a misconception that he died in an automobile fire - he snapped his neck on impact. Moving on, she says she has that "red lip, classic thing" about her, a look that Golden Age film sirens wore so well and that I have a hard time picturing Taylor Swift without. Finally, as with all her songs (because she made her name first as a country singer), the verses tell a clear story. He's called her out of the blue and is actually trying to keep their date a secret (no one picks a girl up with their headlights off unless they're trying to be sneaky - it's a rookie teenager move). It's pretty clear he's just wanting to get her in bed. She mentions that she heard he was seeing someone else. He admits he is but he "can't stop thinking about you and I." And she gives in because she's been fantasizing about the same thing. Fin. Sounds like a recipe for heartbreak but at least she got a killer single out of it. And I have no doubt that a scenario similar to this actually played out in her life. Swift has a tendency to take "write what you know" a little too seriously.

I like the Postmodern Jukebox version because it's a duet (the original is not). It's also higher energy - something you can dance to (PMJ says it's in "Grease"-style, which involved perhaps too much dancing). The original is more of a ballad, and not as fun to run to. The retro-futurist version replaces the synthesizers with brass, which naturally gives the whole piece a brighter sound. Also - and this is not remotely relevant - but the tenor who sings the male part (Von Smith) reminds me a little bit of Mr. Nice Guy. Just in the face. Von Smith is not quite as tall. And I'm pretty sure Mr. Nice Guy couldn't sing and didn't own a leather jacket. Including the T-Swift version, just because I can. She helped me make it through June alive - the least I can do is pimp her music videos.

"Style" PMJ Version

"Style" Original Video

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion (as covered by New Found Glory)

::SPOILER ALERT:: I am going to share some minor details about "Aquaman." And some major details about the movie "Titanic." Newsflash: The ship sinks and that movie is 20 years old - if you haven't seen it by now, you're probably never going to see it. Which is a shame, because it's one of the most definitive movies of the 90s. But it is a long movie - the movie takes more time to finish than it took for the actual Titanic to sink. But I digress. I'm going to weave these two movies together into a philosophical discussion on the nature of Fate and Free Will. And that's the real spoiler - your head is going to hurt something awful after reading this. ::END::

I'm going to share a controversial opinion - Jack was always meant to die in "Titanic." No matter what happened, even if Rose had moved her fat ass to make room on that door, he would've died. If somehow, he had made it to New York with Rose, he probably would've been instantly run over by a taxi or choked on a hot dog. That was his Destiny. Sorry folks. It's clear from the very beginning of the movie that the Universe was conspiring to get Jack onto that damned ship. First, those Norwegian guys bet their tickets to travel on the Titanic, which was a stupid idea to begin with and not something sane people would do considering the historical nature of Titanic's maiden voyage (it would've been historical, even if they had made it because the ship was so huge). Second, Jack actually won that poker game, which seems like good luck but we now know it wasn't. Third, while Jack and Fabrizio are celebrating and probably would've tried to sneak in another drink before heading to the ship, the bartender let's them know that they only have 5 minutes to get there - exactly the amount of time needed to get to the ship if they rushed. Then, somehow, they are able to get through the crowd and onto the gangway just before the doors closed. And finally, the doorman lets them in, knowing that they haven't gone through the hygiene check, just based on Jack's dubious claim that they're both Americans - a major breach of protocol considering how quickly disease spreads on a ship. Yep, Jack was just too lucky not to die a watery death on April 15, 1912.

The Universe was not unkind, though. It knew that, in order for Jack to meet his True Love, he had to be on that ship. Because, otherwise, Rose would've died. That was her Destiny if she didn't meet Jack. She would've succeeded in throwing herself off the stern or would've killed herself at some later date due to her unhappiness at being Cal's wife. Meeting Jack gave her a reason to live, even after he died, because she had to fulfill her promise of having a happy and full life, which she did. And I'm sure she thought of Jack every single day. I'm sure some days she was sad, but most days, she was probably grateful for their short time together. Grateful he existed. Because not everyone gets to meet their True Love within every lifetime. And if Jack had not gotten on the Titanic, he would've been one of those unlucky people. Sad but true.

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

"Aquaman" begins with a Jules Verne quote - "Put two ships on the ocean, without wind or tide, and they will meet....it is only a question of time." Then the movie launches into how Arthur Curry's parents met. And that's how all great romances start - two people are put into a situation where they cannot avoid meeting. And, when I think about it, there's never really a chase in these romances - both people just know that, whatever happens, they were supposed to meet. Anyway, due to the way "Aquaman" starts, it was pretty much tugging at my heartstrings the whole movie. During the movie, Tom Curry walks to the end of the pier every day at sunset, waiting for Atlanna to return. Even after Arthur tells him Atlanna was executed, he still waits, brushing it off as "old habits." But I don't think it was old habits - and not to give away too much, but I think his heart still pulls him to wait for 30 years because, deep inside, he doesn't believe she's dead. He has faith she'll come back, though everything up until that point has told him otherwise. Going back to "Titanic," I think about that sometimes - yes, Rose lived an amazing life, got married, had children, but when she dies, it's Jack who is waiting for her. Was she just waiting this whole time, faithfully knowing that he was going to be there in the end? I also wonder sometimes if we intuitively know that a person is supposed to be special to us. That we're supposed to meet them, even if it's just for a second. But, then, what happens if we don't follow that inner prompting?

I read recently about a guy who had a love at first sight experience. A girl came into the subway car and sat down next to him. He talked to her - of course, because everything in his being was telling him to! - and finally, the subway car came to his stop. He hesitated a moment, but then got off the car. He didn't even give her his number! Based on the article I was reading, I don't think he ever ran into her again but he was still hoping he would. Because it's one of his greatest regrets, getting off that car, not even trying to leave himself a breadcrumb. It'll probably haunt him forever, because he might never get another opportunity. As I've said, the Universe hates when people aren't listening. After reading "The Alchemist," I feel like I finally understand something fundamental about the nature of Free Will - Free Will is simply the ability to choose NOT to take the path that God (or the Universe) has laid out before us. The Universe will keep trying to put us back on that path, certainly (if it's possible - sometimes, we just miss our chance), but we always have the choice to not follow it. While I'm rambling, I'm going to suggest some reading by Pico della Mirandola. In his "Oration on the dignity of the human being," Mirandola describes in beautiful detail the gift of Free Will and the responsibilities that accompany it. I learned a great many things in my Medieval History class, but Mirandola's speech was one of the things I actually remember. It actually figured greatly into my Medieval Philosophy paper on St. Thomas Aquinas' theories on Destiny. Because I've been wracking my brain on this nonsense for over two decades. I'd like to think I'm a centimeter closer to understanding now, but I'd be deceiving myself.

I know - the above rant (which I know is nowhere near coherent - merely an amalgamation of shower musings, to be honest) has absolutely nothing to do with music. "My Heart Will Go On" was one of the greatest ballads of the late 90s. And as much as I love Celine Dion, I like it when punk bands do covers of love songs like this. Something about the heightened tempo and harsher instrumentation contrasting against the romantic lyrics makes it magical to me. Perhaps it's the nostalgia for the music style of my childhood - I do have an unusually large soft spot for 90s alternative. Maybe it's that it takes the trite nature of "My Heart Will Go On" and makes it sound more rebellious. Because, if all these loves stories and fairy tales have taught us anything, it's that going after True Love is always rebellious. The characters always have to break down so many barriers and call upon so many miracles to achieve it, how could it not be? Just saying. Anyway, my brain hurts, so without much further ado, watch the video below to behold the genius of New Found Glory's "My Heart Will Go On."

New Found Glory Version

Celine Dion Version

"Origin of Love" by Hedwig and the Angry Inch

We've encountered Hedwig before. I've had this song in my back pocket for a while. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm not sure exactly what to say. It's a power ballad, for sure, with lyrics whose brilliance are unrivaled by any other song I've heard. In fact, after seeing "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," I felt so strongly about this song, I had to make The Husband (formerly The Boyfriend) listen to it immediately. When he dismissed it as "the most emo song he's ever heard," I cannot begin to describe the level of disappointment I felt. Because I was hoping - just hoping - that he would understand what the song was saying as much as I did. Which is silly, because it isn't the type of song he would get. Not only are the esoteric references over his head, I'm not sure he's even interested in googling the Cliff's Notes for Plato's "Symposium," which is the text the lyrics are based on. Mind you, you don't have to be well-versed in classical philosophy to follow the story - some people just know it's true in their heart. Or so I've been told....maybe that's true for you, too.

For those who haven't spent a lot of time perusing ancient Greek philosophy, I'll sum up "Symposium" here as best I can. "Symposium" is an imagined collection of speeches given by celebrated philosophers of the day in praise of the god Eros. "Origin of Love" is based on Aristophanes speech. Aristophanes tells the other guests that, in the beginning, there were three sexes. One looked like two females attached at the back (Children of the Earth), another was two males (Children of the Sun), and the third was comprised of a man and a woman attached together (Children of the Moon). The humans conspired to climb Mt. Olympus and confront the gods. The gods, frightened by the humans strength and determination, devised an especially cruel way to punish them. Zeus used lightening to cut the humans in half and then scattered them to the wind. And thus, humans are doomed to walk the earth, searching for their other half, wishing to be whole again. However, Aristophanes posits that if they do find their other half, they will be inseparable. It's the essential Love Story, which all other love stories are based on. This text is the basis for the idea of Twin Flames - a single soul split between two bodies. It's not the same as soulmates, if you believe in that kind of thing. You can have dozens of soulmates over your lifetime, but you only have one Twin Flame.

Last time I saw you

We just split in two

You was looking at me

I was looking at you

You had a way so familiar

But I could not recognize

'cause you had blood in your face

And I had blood in my eyes

But I could swear by your expression

That the pain down in your soul

Was the same as the one down in mine

Aristophanes called his speech a eulogy for the human race - I think that's probably right. It sounds like a sad and lonely existence searching, knowing you're missing something. What a monumental task, to find that one other person out of 7.5 billion people? And, like our friend Wreckless Eric reminded us on Monday, "she probably lives in Tahiti." Eric was obviously from Great Britain - how the fuck would he know to go searching in Tahiti? Or what if they're in some place even farther away? It's basically guaranteed that they'll be from a different culture or socioeconomic status or any number of things that make a relationship difficult. Or what if they ended up dying early this lifetime? Or can't be with you for some other stupid reason? So many "what ifs" and "oh nos." Maybe it's better to not believe in such things, unless it's in a movie or a book. Otherwise, it's just depressing to think about....enough to call back that existential dread that lingers around in the back your mind.

Anyway, this idea also serves as the basis for Hedwig's story, too. At first, she believed Tommy Gnosis was her Twin Flame. Then, he freaks out after discovering she's transgender, steals all her songs and goes on to be a famous rockstar. Hedwig spends the majority of the movie following his tour while playing with her band of Eastern European immigrants. Finally, Hedwig hits rock bottom, having pushed away her friends, and starts working as a hooker. Hedwig and Tommy do reunite briefly, when he solicits her "services." It's a funny scene - Hedwig gets really pissed off when she finds out that Tommy fucked up the lyrics to "Origin of Love" (He was calling Osiris "the Cyrus"). When the paparazzi discover them together, their fortunes reverse - Hedwig becomes a big star and Tommy fades into oblivion. In the end, she realizes she never needed Tommy - she was whole all on her own. And that's the moral of the story, kids.

Including the scene from the movie (because I like the illustrations that go with the song) as well a clean version from the soundtrack.

"Origin of Love" Scene

Soundtrack Version

"Black Sheep" by Metric

In my last post, I talked a bit about the Evil Ex Trope, but I neglected one important detail. Sometimes, we're the Evil Ex in someone else's story. And that is usually a fundamental obstacle on the Hero's Journey - making amends with those we've wronged, whether or not the wrong was intentional. Additionally, the Hero/ine is often presented with an opportunity to forgive those that have wronged them. This moving on - from both past mistakes and the pain caused by others - is a rite of passage for the Hero/ine and needed for them to realize their full potential.

"Black Sheep" is featured in "Scott Pilgrim vs the World," which is an excellent example to demonstrate this point. Scott Pilgrim has to fight Ramona Flowers' seven Evil Exes, but throughout the whole movie, his own callousness with Knives' heart is constantly in the background. We also see that he's kind of self-involved, resulting in him being kind of a super jerk to his friends. He has to resolve both of these conflicts before the end of the movie. Ultimately, he has to apologize to both Ramona and Knives for cheating on them in order for him to achieve his goal, which is to date Ramona.

It must be noted that apologies don't always fix everything and forgiveness doesn't always bring closure to the Hero/ine's pain. I was watching "Kung Fu Panda" this weekend and towards the end, Shifu apologizes to Tai Lung for building him up for a Destiny that wasn't his. It does makes Tai Lung pause for a second but then he continues on his destructive course, which ends with his demise. Although some peace is brought through this acknowledgement of the wrong he did to Tai Lung, Shifu is not completely relieved. He genuinely loved Tai Lung as a son and it is clear that his death is not the ending Shifu would've picked. This is important to remember in real life as well - that forgiveness and apologies are often the beginning of entirely new path.

Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when

Our common goal was waiting for the world to end

Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend

You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again

"Black Sheep" is about loving someone - friend, relative, significant other, doesn't matter - who has a tendency to push people away, especially people who actually care about them. Eventually, you just have to let them do it but be supportive if they come around. Pushing people away is a common coping mechanism for people who fear abandonment. They think that they're pre-empting the inevitable, because everyone they cared about always left before. Taylor Swift clearly has this problem. In fact, in one of her more recent songs, she actually has the lyric "you gotta leave before you get left." In her situation, though, she usually creates the conditions that would result in the person leaving anyway, because no one wants to (or should have to) deal with emotional abuse. From her songs, you can tell that she thinks this tactic makes her a strong woman, but in reality, it just leaves her more lonely and broken. As you can tell, I use my Psychology degree to spend way too much time analyzing pop stars. Some of them have healthy coping methods and some do not - I try to use what I understand from their situations to bring light to my own unresolved issues. It's called mirroring and I've found it incredibly useful in my shadow work. You'll notice that Scott Pilgrim also has to fight his shadow self - aptly called Nega-Scott. This is not a coincidence - it's a vital part of the Hero's Journey. In fact, it's the entire point of the Journey - to reconcile the dark and light side of yourself. In the end, Scott and Nega-Scott shake hands, knowing it probably won't be the last time they fight.

Post Note: You may have noticed I've been capitalizing certain words and phrases in my posts. I've been using that method to bring attention to literary themes and high-level narrative/philosophical concepts. This helps my understanding and I hope those reading find it helpful, too. I'm not just being free-styling with the capitals for my own amusement....I would never do that.

"Black Sheep" Video

"Xavia" by The Submarines

This past weekend, I tried to watch "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist." I got about 20 minutes in...then the baby woke up and put a stop to that nonsense. It's a cute indie romance and it's got a killer soundtrack, which includes "Xavia." Even though I didn't get to finish it, I remember the basic plot and I was thinking about several elements in the movie that I wanted to mull over. Out loud, to no one in particular.

The movie follows your basic True Love story architecture, which is actually a superplot of two stories. Especially in good films, the True Love plot is two Hero/Heroine's Journey stories combined into a single narrative. Both characters have to overcome obstacles - usually psychologically but sometimes physically - in order reach self-actualization and achieve the final goal. As you probably could've guessed, for most romances, the goal from the audience's perspective is "to be together." You get some variation from story to story, but that's the basic gist of the formula. "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" fits this format almost exactly and the thing that makes it a better romantic comedy is that it's balanced. It's not overly focused on either the guy or the girl. The audience gets to see both journeys, which are fairly well mirrored against each other. Although they are played out in different forms, both Nick and Norah have very similar problems with their self-esteem, which they need to overcome in order to attain happiness.

"Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" uses the tropes of the Crazy-Evil (Ex)Girlfriend and the Milquetoast-Mediocre (Ex)Boyfriend. I have the "ex" in parentheses because, sometimes, these tropes come in the form of current girlfriends/boyfriends. Regardless, they both serve the same purpose - to help the hero/ine understand that they don't have to accept awful treatment in order to be loved. Nick, who is heartbroken over Tris at the beginning of the movie, realizes at the end that she's only trying to seduce him because she lost control over him. He was letting her lead him on like a puppy dog because he didn't think he could do better. Tris kind of believed it, too - and she's frustrated at the end because her physical beauty/sexuality doesn't have any hold over him anymore, which is the only power she really had in their relationship (Tris needs to do some growing, too, but it's not her movie). Conversely, Norah let her on-again-off-again fuck buddy, Tal, use her for her money and industry connections because she felt lonely. She finally breaks that pattern by seemingly giving in to his requests for her to pay their tab before serving up a dose of instant karma (spoiler: she tells the waitress to increase the tab and then leaves the bill for Tal to pay). Anyway, Nick and Norah both had to address their deeply held feelings of unworthy-ness and their patterns of letting people use them in order to reach the level of self-acceptance needed to be together.

I had more examples of these tropes and plot elements to go over but I didn't realize I had gotten so ranty over "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist." I also wanted to talk about how Norah had fallen in love with Nick before she even met him. This is also a common theme in romances - even before the Meet-Cute, the narrative drops hints for the audience that the two protagonists are on a crash course. In films, you can do this with clever visual cues (like the criss-crossing scene from "You've Got Mail") but usually, this is done in the exposition (the first 10-20 minutes of a film) as part of the world-building. In Norah's case, she finds that Nick has excellent taste in music - almost a perfect match to her taste. Not that this should be surprising - the songs for this movie were clearly chosen by a genius, which is why it has one of the best soundtracks of any film (romance, comedy, indie, or otherwise) ever.

I Don't Wanna be Your Favorite Enemy

Not when I can be Loving You, alright

Why can't it be?

No Two People feel the Same Way at the Same Time

When I first heard "Xavia," I was kind of obsessed with the last two lines of that verse. Because it seems true, doesn't it? Why can't two people ever feel the same way at the same time? But it's not true, because it has to happen at least occasionally or else no one would ever be in a relationship. We'd all be stuck in the ridiculous Hell that this song describes, where one person wants to make it work and the other is done with it. Probably one of the prettiest break-up songs I've ever heard, which makes it perfect for Nick and Norah. It's funny, because they have the opposite problem - the whole time, they both don't see that they feel the same about each other until the very end. At first, Norah is chasing Nick....until she realizes that Tris is his ex-girlfriend and she feels like she can't compete so why even try. Then, Nick chases Norah, realizing he fucked up by going with Tris, knowing that she's a manipulative snake. Again, another common theme in romances, the cat-and-mouse back-and-forth between the protagonists. It's more pronounced in other movies, and this post is already miles too long so I'll leave it for another day. Thanks for reading!

Post Note: Xavia is another one of those weird names I love that the Husband won't let me name our hypothetical daughter. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

"Xavia" Video

"I Love You Too Much" from "The Book of Life"

Rounding out this weekend of sad love songs and Mexican culture, I decided to watch "Book of Life" with my son, because it's a cute movie and there are so few movies that feature the light side of Dia de Muertos. Whenever you see Dia de Muertos in adult movies, it's all about Santa Muerte and skulls and darkness, which sublimates the true meaning of the celebration. It's supposed to be happy - death is just the next phase of our journey and our loved ones are never really gone if they live on in our hearts. It's odd but Samhain and Dia de los Muertos - they're all about love, they just happen to focus on the dark parts we don't really like to deal with the rest of the year. The grief, the heartbreak when someone has passed away. And it's also about the hope - hope that we'll see them again, that they're in a good place, that they're watching us and proud of what we've become.

Moving on - this is probably one of my most favorite animated films. It's colorful - lots of bright greens and pinks and yellows, like you would see during a Dia de Muertos celebration. Of course it's going to be visually gorgeous - Guillermo del Toro is the director and, regardless of what you think of his work, he has a clear aesthetic vision that carries through all his movies. He's very similar to Wes Anderson and Christopher Nolan, in that way. Additionally, he cast a strong ensemble - Diego Luna (Manolo) and Channing Tatum (Joaquin) play two best friends in love with the same girl (Maria), played by Zoe Saldana. Hector Elizondo as Manolo's bullfighting father. Ron Perlman as Xibalba and Kate del Castillo as La Muerte. All fairly brilliant actors on their own but together, they brought the story to life. I also really liked that the characters were designed to resemble wooden dolls - if you see the beginning of the movie, you'd understand. Essentially, it's a story being told within a story and the narrator is using the dolls to re-enact events.

Finally, the film incorporates contemporary and original songs and, like many children's movies, music plays an integral part of telling the story. In "Book of Life," Manolo (the main protagonist) is a matador who wants to be a musician. He also thinks killing the bull after the fight is wrong (I agree), which is one of the many reasons why Maria loves him and not Joaquin. After the big bull fight in Maria's honor - where Manolo refuses to kill the bull and disgraces the Sanchez family - Manolo serenades Maria with "I Love You Too Much." It's a beautiful song and Diego Luna's voice makes me kind of want to die. Maybe it's the accent.

I love you too much

To live without you loving me back

I love you too much

Heaven's my witness and this is a fact

I know I belong

When I sing this song

There's love above love and it's ours

Cause I love you too much

After the song, Maria giggles and refuses to kiss Manolo, asking "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" But you know he had her heart before even began singing. Manolo makes a lot of grand gestures during the film but none of them are necessary. All a girl wants to know is that you're thinking of her, that you notice when she's gone, that you care about her opinion. And if she loves you, she accepts you for who you are and wants you to be you. This is the great lesson that Manolo has learn to escape the Land of the Forgotten and get his life back. That he's worthy of love - not just Maria's but his father's and his family's love as well - just the way he is, regardless of whether he is a bullfighter or a musician.

I'm telling you, I've got this love story formula all figured out now. I should start writing goddamn romance novels - I hear that business is pretty lucrative.

"I Love You Too Much" Clip

"Heart Possession" by Calabrese

Calabrese is a band from Phoenix that specializes in horror punk. Basically, every song they write is perfect for Halloween. I had my pick of songs, so I picked one at random. They have a pretty classic punk sound, though. When you have The Misfits, Black Flag, and the Ramones listed as influence, how could you not? But they're also influenced by early 2000s emo....which is about when I found them. "Heart Possession" is from their album, "Dayglo Necros" which was released in 2012.

Take my hand, feel in your heart

All I demand, your life is marked. 

Vultures perched on burnt out buildings,

The only life I know is changing, 

Forever changing

Here's the story I picture when I hear "Heart Possession." Picture the Big Man on Campus, normal football quarterback who rules the school. Beautiful, blonde, just a tad naive. A new girl walks into school. Pretty, goth, just a tad dangerous. And he doesn't know why, but he's instinctively drawn to her, like a magnet. He asks her out on a date, even though he's being heckled mercilessly by his jock friends. After a wonderful date, she says she has to tell him something. Bam! She reveals she's a vampire! (Don't ask why she can go to school in the day time....just assume she conforms roughly to Twilight rules) Well, it's True Love isn't it? He wants to be a vampire, too. So, against her better judgement, she turns him. Now, they're stuck together forever. More permanent than marriage, because you can't escape someone who turns you into a vampire, no matter how hard you try. Even if you leave them, they're a part of you.

Side rant: I used to watch this show called "Big Wolf on Campus." It was a Canadian series about this quarterback who gets bit by a werewolf at a party. In order to deal with his new life, he befriends the weird goth kid who knows a lot of occult bullshit. They get into shenanigans, mostly because they live in one of those towns that attracts monsters and wizards like the plague. Kind of like Sunnydale from "Buffy" or Greendale from the "Sabrina, the Teenaged Witch" comics. Anyway, it was a fun show but I mostly watched it because I thought the goth kid was cute. Don't get me wrong....the werewolf quarterback was cute, too, but not my type. Apparently I'm attracted to extremely smart but intensely strange people. I'm feeling like a nostalgic nerd tonight, so I hunted down one of the clips to share. Enjoy!

"Heart Possession" Video

Merton J. Dingle Compilation

"Owl and Wolf" by The SIGIT

Well, it's finally Friday. It was a rough Friday and I am good and drunk. As all great writers were, for some reason or another. I think it's easier to deal with the pain that way. I hardly feel anything right now. But I do feel sad. And lonely. And a little broken. But I've always been a little broken, so what else is new? I think the saying goes, "Beer before liquor, never been sicker...but gin before night, sailor's delight." Or something. If I wake up and it looks like I was bashing my head against the keyboard, I'll know which one it was.

I sought out this song, because I loved the story. I saw it on an episode of "Charmed," one of the few episodes I watched and remembered really well, because it's one of those tragic love stories I love so much. I think the original tale has a Native American origin and sometimes the animal roles are reversed but I'll try to re-tell it as best I can.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who was cursed by an evil sorcerer. The woman was very beautiful and refused the sorcerer's advances, so she cursed her and her True Love to live life apart. She would life as an owl during the daytime and he would live life as a wolf during the night. They would never both be human at the same time until there was a night within a day. The only thing that would break the curse was True Love's Kiss but neither of them were human for long enough. They would spend their days and nights alone but at each sunset and sunrise, they would find each other, just to catch a glimpse. Just for a second before their owl or wolf eyes returned. Every day, twice a day, but it was worth it. It was worth the wait, every time. Then, finally, the answer to their prayers arrived - a solar eclipse. The sorcerer tried to keep them apart but they found their way to each other. And for the last minute of the eclipse, they were together long enough to break the curse. And, supposedly, they lived happily ever after.

We sing song of our midnight glamour

Our eyes illuminate in high and low"

I set the fire on the black hole's gates

To keep us holding on until the day light breaks

We are the stealer of the stars tonight

The moral of the story is that Love persists, no matter what obstacles are thrown in the way. One must have Faith to reach their Happily Every After. What would have happened if the Owl and the Wolf chose to stop trying to find each other ever sunset and sunrise? Would they have been stuck in this purgatory forever? No one knows, because their love never died and neither did their hope. It wouldn't have been as good a story if the ending was "they each moved on with their lives after accepting that this was how things were going to be until they died." Not as good a story, but it would be understandable. At least they didn't choose a suicide pact - instead, they accepted that they'd have to be alone forever except for a moment each day. It's almost sadder that way, though, in my opinion.

The SIGIT are an Indonesian rock band who was influenced by the artists of the 1970s. Apparently, they do a lot of covers of Led Zeppelin. I can respect that. "Owl and Wolf" is from their last album, "Detourn," which came out in 2013. I didn't know what to expect when I searched out the song but I'm happy with what I found. It's as sweet and soft as the story that it's based on, and listening to it is calming me down somewhat.

"Owl and Wolf" Video

"Swan Lake" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (as performed by The Agonist)

This is a version of the main theme from "Swan Lake" that Canadian metal band, The Agonist, composed for their second album, "Lullabies for the Dormant Mind." I love the ballet and I also happen to love the story of Swan Lake. The ballet was written by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, the Russian composer who is famous for writing the three Great Ballets, all of which are based on fairy tales - Sleeping Beauty, The Nutcracker, and Swan Lake. Unlike the other two, Swan Lake does not exactly have a happy ending. Well, it has a Russian Happy Ending, which aren't particularly happy at all but are more beautiful and poetic. 

Here is the story of Swan Lake. One day, Prince Siegfried is hunting in the forest, unhappy that he will have to choose a bride at a ball because he wants to marry for love. He gets lost in the forest and happens upon a lake filled with swans. He is about to shoot one with his bow when it transforms into a beautiful maiden, Odette. She explains that a sorcerer, Rothbart, has cursed her and her companions to live as swans during the day. The curse will only be broken if someone who has never loved before pledges to love only her forever. Siegfried offers to kill Rothbart but if the sorcerer dies before the curse is broken, Odette and her friends will stay swans forever. Over the course of the night, Odette and Siegfried fall in love. Siegfried vows to declare his love for Odette at the upcoming ball.

At the ball, Rothbart appears with his daughter, Odile (the Black Swan) magically disguised as Odette. The other princesses that are in attendance try to get Siegfried's attention but he only has eyes for the transformed Odile. Odette appears at the window, trying to get Siegfried's attention, but to no avail. Siegfried declares his love for Odile in front of all the guests. Afterwards, Rothbart reveals that Siegfried has declared his love for the wrong woman. Siegfried, horrified by the mistake he has made, returns to the lake. He apologizes to Odette. She forgives him but the damage is done. Heartbroken that the curse will never be lifted and she will never be with her True Love, Odette chooses to die than to remain a swan forever. Siegfried, not wanting to live without his Odette, chooses to die with her and they both jump into the lake and drown. Their act of love breaks the curse on Odette's friends and they return to their human form as Odette and Siegfried ascend to heaven. Fin.

Odette and her friends, St. Petersburg Ballet

That's how you know the difference between a romantic comedy and a romantic tragedy. They follow almost exactly the same pattern and at some point, the lovers are going to be separated, seemingly indefinitely. In a romantic comedy, the Universe conspires through a series of unlikely events to bring them together finally and the story ends with a wedding. In a romantic tragedy, the only way the lovers can be together is in death. Usually one or both dies, and a suicide pact like the one seen in Swan Lake is not uncommon in these stories. 

"The Swan Princess" came out when I was a kid and I loved the movie. They gave the movie a happier ending than the one I described. Yes, the Prince declares his love mistakenly to the Black Swan but True Love's Kiss is able to save Odette. I think the original ending is more beautiful. Sometimes, Death is the only ending for a tragic love story and is needed to fix the world in which the story resides, as in "Romeo and Juliet" or "Tristan and Isolde." I find that Russian fairy tales seem to understand this best - not everyone can have a happy ending. That's an important lesson for children to learn.

I really like this version, because it's a capella or without accompaniment (instrumentation), for those not familiar with the term. The Agonist has a female singer and she sings all the parts in the song that would normally be played by an orchestra. I think the singer who did this particular version was Alissa White-Gluz and she has a very clean, clear soprano voice. I've always been jealous of sopranos. Yes, altos and mezzos sound very soulful, but sopranos always sound ethereal and ghostly. And they can hit those ridiculously high notes. Fucking bitches.

"Swan Lake" Video

"The Sun and Moon" by Cursive

Many cultures have a "Why the Sun chases the Moon" mythos, so it's hard to trace where this story starts. Probably Ancient Sumaria....everything seems to start in Ancient Sumaria. But, to be fair, this story is also present in a lot of Native American and Mesoamerican cultures as well, so the story may be as old as humanity. Because that's what we did in the olden days - when it was dark and cold outside and we couldn't hunt, we told stories and made art.

The story of the Sun and Moon goes like this - The Moon loves the Sun so much that he chases her around the sky. That's it. Sometimes the Moon is the female and the Sun is male, but they follow each other, day in and day out. It's a magnetic attraction - one is pulling, one is pushing - but they can never be together. Because the Sun is like 8 light minutes away, which is probably like a zillion miles. I have no idea how far away the Sun is but I know the Moon is about 250,000 miles from Earth.

I did some research on the symbolism of the Sun and the Moon. The essential nature of the relationship between the Sun and Moon is that they are a balance of opposites, which also crosses cultures. However, at the core, there are similarities between them. To us, they appear the same size (because humans don't quite understand perspective), they share equal time in the sky throughout the year (because humans don't quite understand celestial orbits either), and they both provide light in some form. They're different but they're the same - which is Rule #1 of Romantic Comedies. Yin and yang in Chinese philosophy, dualism in Ancient Greece - you have to balance the elements that the Sun and Moon represent in order to reach inner peace/nirvana/Truth/True Love/whatever. Not to mention that the Sun and Moon is all over romantic literature, because it is the first romance. For example, Act II, Scene II of "Romeo and Juliet":

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,

That thou her maid art far more fair than she

It's also common for the Sun to be used as a metaphor for love and be compared to someone you love (see "Lullaby" and "You are My Sunshine"). Hence today's song from Cursive. Essentially, he's saying that the person he's singing about completes him, but he's kind of resentful, because she's more amazing than he'll ever be, even though they are the same in some ways. Even though he knows all her darkness and the things that haunt her and the questionable choices she's made, she still shines. And he's stuck reflecting her glow, following her around. Near the end, he gets kind of childish and for a moment he's like, "Maybe I'm the one who's awesome," but then he's like..."No, you really are more amazing." The sad thing is...the Sun doesn't really need the Moon, but the Moon needs the Sun. The Sun can shine without him, but the Moon is just a hunk of cold rock without the Sun. There's your philosophy/astronomy lesson for today.

My flesh and blood? It can't be true

You're everything I could never be

I was no one, now I'm two

You're actually here acknowledging that I am the we that makes us complete

"The Sun and Moon" Video