" Sonata in E-flat Major for Piano, Hob. XVI:49/II. Adagio e cantabile" by Joseph Haydn

Exhausted yet again but I decided to try for just a short Song de la Nuit and wax poetic for a few minutes about one of my favorite literary characters. I saw "Interview with the Vampire" during my formative years and I remember the first time I watched it distinctly because my dad was building "bunky boards" for our new bunk beds. I'm fairly certain I was about 8 years old. No, my parents really didn't care what we watched when I was growing up (or even noticed, to be honest), which is why my knowledge of late 90s/early 2000s horror films is quite extensive. They also didn't take notice of what we were reading, either, which is how my sisters and I became big fans of Anne Rice. We even have copies of the BDSM erotica she wrote under the nom de plume A.N. Roquelaure. As you may have guessed, Lestat de Lioncourt is the aforementioned favorite literary character.

Assuming you've read all the Vampire Chronicles, like I have, Lestat has a somewhat checkered past. As a reader, your perspective on Lestat gets skewed because for the first book and the majority of the third, you see Lestat through the eyes of all the other characters in the books. Some think he's nuisance, others look up to him like he's a mentor (including Louis - you don't see this in "Interview" but Louis is quite devoted to Lestat as a dear friend after the events of that book). Some vampires believe he's their savior, others think his actions put all vampires in danger. However, you can only understand Lestat after reading his story in his own words, through the text of "The Vampire Lestat." Lestat is...complicated. He's not a bad guy, as you might think if you had only seen the movie. Honestly, the 1994 version of "Interview with the Vampire" makes him out to be more of a villain than he is. To really understand Lestat, just look at the first people he decides to turn into a vampires - his mother and his best friend/first love. Lestat suffers greatly from a fear of abandonment and every action he takes is to keep the ones he loves in his life. And one by one, the outcome is always the same. Nicholas resents Lestat for turning him and commits suicide. His mother, Gabrielle, leaves him during their wanderings to experience the freedom she never could've had as the wife of a French aristocrat. Marius sends him away after he awakens They Who Must Be Kept with his violin playing. And then there was that whole debacle with Claudia murdering him to run away with Louis. Needless to say, it's a common theme in his life. For all his efforts, his lesson on the Hero's Journey is how to be alone. Ironically, that's the most unbearable thing about immortality. Immortality comes at the price of watching everyone you love die around you, unable to prevent it yet also unwilling to join them in the after life. The Gift of Agelessness becomes more of a curse for those who have not mastered the ability to be alone without being lonely.

It is this dislike of being lonely that tempts him to do stupid things, like in "The Tale of the Body Thief," where he trades his immortal body for a mortal one for a day. Unfortunately, the body thief does not intend to return his body and Lestat realizes his foolishness. After nearly losing his immortality, he somehow ends up meeting the devil, drinks the actual blood of Jesus Christ, and by the end of the entire series of books, Lestat is basically the most powerful character in all of fiction. It's a crazy ride. At the latest point in the Vampire Chronicles (which Rice is still adding to), Lestat is nearly impossible to kill - though many have tried - and he's looked at as kind of the King of Vampires, even though he's reluctant to take on that role. That's the thing about building great characters - they have to always be evolving, while still retaining their core personality. One of the things I liked most about the Harry Potter books is that each book had a different tonal quality, which showed Harry's progression throughout the series. For example, in Book 5, Harry was pretty much a whiny, emo bitch so that book was all about him getting over his bad self, because taking action based on the ego always leads to bad times. Yet, in spite of all his missteps, it's his dedication to being courageous and loyal to the side of good that stands out. It's the same with Lestat - as he gains more experience, he goes through a transformative change with each new novel. The current Lestat is way more humble and understanding than newly turned Lestat ever could've been. That being said, he can still be a little extra at times - there's a reason people call him The Brat Prince. This is (or should be) how we take on our own lives. With each new chapter, we have to remember we are not the same person we used to be and yet the same person we always were. It's confusing. But if you get it, you get it. And if/when you do get it, I feel like it makes life go a whole helluva lot smoother, even when things start to get crazy in your external world.

"Lestat's Piano Sonata" Video

"Kiss Kiss Kill Kill" by HorrorPops

I'm feeling HorrorPops, especially some of their darker stuff. HorrorPops are a Danish punk band, whose influences are mostly rockabilly and psychobilly. Especially when you get into more horrorbilly stuff (like Nekromantix and Calabrese), a lot of the songs are cinematically inspired. On the album, "Kiss Kiss Kill Kill," there are several songs inspired by classic movies. Most notably in my mind was "Thelma & Louise," which draws on the film to paint a picture of a pair of freewheeling girls on a joyride (when, in reality, the ending of the movie was much more tragic). The titular song itself, which I'm featuring today, takes it's name from a campy Euro-Spy movie made in the mid-60s that featured two American police detectives in Yugoslavia. Just judging by the movie poster, it looks ridiculous - but, then again, I'm the type of person who likes to watch awesomely bad movies.

In this shiver of symphony

the closing shadows turn like a still

a thousand feet across the floor

and in a second I'll never grow old

quiet now quiet now

crying I won't stop

the quivers running down my mind

ha-ah-ah-ah-oh-oh-oh!

close enough

close enough

and I'm feeling tired

(kiss kiss kill kill)

(kiss kiss kill kill)

The actual song lyrics, however, sound more like something out of a dimestore vampire novel. I couldn't find much on the lyrics meaning, so I'm going to go a little rogue and write my own interpretation. The singer is in love with someone who drains her....and she realizes it. But she doesn't want to let go. If he/she's going to kill her, she welcomes it. Like a soft kiss. I always thought that was the most disturbing part of the most recent spate of vampire/werewolf romances. It's like the collective unconscious believes that love has to be painful and even dangerous. Or maybe it's just the same story - we want to believe love changes people for the better, even when we (literally) love a monster. Even after they've done the absolute worst thing they could to you (like murdered you for your tasty tasty blood, metaphorically speaking). Coincidentally, classic rockabilly films usually center around a high-class girl falling for a "greaser." And, wouldn't you know it, the girl usually gets her heart broken.

Just a brief rundown on rockabilly - it's one of the earliest forms of rock'n'roll, which took hold of America during the 1950s, especially in parts of the South. It mixed elements of country music with that of blues. The name itself is a combination of "rock" and "hillbilly," as if you couldn't have figured that out yourself. The sound was popularized by Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash, and - of course - Elvis Presley. One of my first loves. Did you know that Elvis was assigned to the 10th Mountain Division when he was drafted into the Army? Well, I do....but that's because my dad would bring it up all the time because he was also in 10th Mountain Division. Regardless, Elvis was one of my favorite artists growing up, because his sound and his voice was so unique.

Nowadays, rockabilly has become synonymous with the subculture that it birthed. There's a particular style that goes with it, of which I'm quite fond. Femmes have their choice of dressing like a Pink Lady or, if they're feeling fancy, they can squeeze themselves into a "wiggle" dress (this is the actual technical fashion term for that style). In recent years, there's been an explosion in rockabilly style, so if you're life is conducive to dressing in pencil skirts and shimmy dresses all the time, you have plenty of options. Even if you can't do that, a few fit & flare shirt dresses go a long way if you're going for the look (and they're super comfortable). Alternatively, if you identify as the more masculine type, your job is easy - jeans, steel-toed boots, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Fucking classic and super hot.

"Kiss Kiss Kill Kill" Video

"Heart Possession" by Calabrese

Calabrese is a band from Phoenix that specializes in horror punk. Basically, every song they write is perfect for Halloween. I had my pick of songs, so I picked one at random. They have a pretty classic punk sound, though. When you have The Misfits, Black Flag, and the Ramones listed as influence, how could you not? But they're also influenced by early 2000s emo....which is about when I found them. "Heart Possession" is from their album, "Dayglo Necros" which was released in 2012.

Take my hand, feel in your heart

All I demand, your life is marked. 

Vultures perched on burnt out buildings,

The only life I know is changing, 

Forever changing

Here's the story I picture when I hear "Heart Possession." Picture the Big Man on Campus, normal football quarterback who rules the school. Beautiful, blonde, just a tad naive. A new girl walks into school. Pretty, goth, just a tad dangerous. And he doesn't know why, but he's instinctively drawn to her, like a magnet. He asks her out on a date, even though he's being heckled mercilessly by his jock friends. After a wonderful date, she says she has to tell him something. Bam! She reveals she's a vampire! (Don't ask why she can go to school in the day time....just assume she conforms roughly to Twilight rules) Well, it's True Love isn't it? He wants to be a vampire, too. So, against her better judgement, she turns him. Now, they're stuck together forever. More permanent than marriage, because you can't escape someone who turns you into a vampire, no matter how hard you try. Even if you leave them, they're a part of you.

Side rant: I used to watch this show called "Big Wolf on Campus." It was a Canadian series about this quarterback who gets bit by a werewolf at a party. In order to deal with his new life, he befriends the weird goth kid who knows a lot of occult bullshit. They get into shenanigans, mostly because they live in one of those towns that attracts monsters and wizards like the plague. Kind of like Sunnydale from "Buffy" or Greendale from the "Sabrina, the Teenaged Witch" comics. Anyway, it was a fun show but I mostly watched it because I thought the goth kid was cute. Don't get me wrong....the werewolf quarterback was cute, too, but not my type. Apparently I'm attracted to extremely smart but intensely strange people. I'm feeling like a nostalgic nerd tonight, so I hunted down one of the clips to share. Enjoy!

"Heart Possession" Video

Merton J. Dingle Compilation

"Make Me Wanna Die" by The Pretty Reckless

I was going to save this one for October because it reminds me of vampires but - fuck it! - today's a Pretty Reckless kind of day and there are more than enough awesome songs about vampires to fill up October. I'm just so over today right now. By the end of work, I found myself wanting to yell at people "stop draining me, you vampire!" I have nothing left to give - what do you want from me? So, True Story - I bought this book on raising my positive vibrations, because I'm trying to embrace this really weird journey I'm on. And today's affirmation was something super hippie - I think it was "feelings are messages from your intuition." Well, today, my intuition was fucking telling me to punch people in the face - and some of those people I actually really like. Obviously, I have more self-control than that, so I didn't. But I was probably more snippy and interrupt-y than I usually am. Perhaps a couple of f-bombs slipped, which I try to refrain from while at work. I'm so over it. It's just exhausting - I meditate and I'll get to feeling like I'm in this super good place and then this madness bubbles up from nowhere and I'm back to square one. I thought I was fucking past all this rage but - nope - still there. Side note: Fucking shadow work is a bitch. Simple fact - do with it what you wish.

When I hear "Make Me Wanna Die," I imagine this girl who is a perfectly good, reasonable, smart girl. And then she meets this guy, this vampire - and fucking nothing else matters. She's ready to up and become a vampire, too. Without consideration for what she'd be giving up, not even considering the curse that immortality can be and how she'll never be able to escape this connection to her Maker. But she's ready to do it, give him everything, if only he thought she was worthy of the Dark Gift (Anne Rice's term, not mine). For a long time, I've considered writing a TV script for the "Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter" series. In my fantasy where it actually gets picked up and I get to be creatively involved in the production, "Make Me Wanna Die" would've been the opening credits song. In my head, it would've been similar to "True Blood," which I loved as a show until they started getting all weird and added magical bullshit that didn't really fit in the plotline. I liked Anita Blake because the heroine is half-Mexican short girl with an affinity for the occult, like myself. In fact, the physical description of Anita sounds a lot like me (except for the long black ringlets - I've never had curly hair) - as you've heard, representation matters. The only thing I really don't like about the Anita Blake books is the presumption that you have to be Christian in order to be good. It was really heavy in the first few books and tapered off later, but it was something that rubbed me the wrong way when I first read it.

Taste me, drink my soul

Show me all the things that I shouldn't know

When there's a blue moon on the rise

I had everything

Opportunities for eternity

And I could belong to the night

Then your eyes

Your eyes

I can see in your eyes

Your eyes

Everything in your eyes

Your eyes

The Pretty Reckless is an American rock band fronted by Gossip Girl alumni, Taylor Momsen. In her teen years, Momsen was this pretty blonde girl and then, randomly, she decided to go goth. Not a big deal - a lot of girls did this in high school (the best ones did, anyway) but not as many formed a kickass band.

Before and After

One more, 'cause she's hot....

"Make Me Wanna Die" is probably their most well-known song (and it's honestly not that well-known) but the Pretty Reckless's entire first album, "Light Me Up," is great. One of the best purchases I ever made, most definitely. They've got some post-grunge influences, a little southern rock thrown in for good measure. I love Momsen's voice - it's a little grizzly, a little sweet, which makes it hella sexy. And she's not too bad looking either - she can definitely pull off the sexy/scary look. Kind of jealous. Fair warning - in the video, she's basically stripping down to her skivvies while walking to a cemetery that's on fire. That is so fucking metal.

"Make Me Wanna Die" Video