" Sonata in E-flat Major for Piano, Hob. XVI:49/II. Adagio e cantabile" by Joseph Haydn

Exhausted yet again but I decided to try for just a short Song de la Nuit and wax poetic for a few minutes about one of my favorite literary characters. I saw "Interview with the Vampire" during my formative years and I remember the first time I watched it distinctly because my dad was building "bunky boards" for our new bunk beds. I'm fairly certain I was about 8 years old. No, my parents really didn't care what we watched when I was growing up (or even noticed, to be honest), which is why my knowledge of late 90s/early 2000s horror films is quite extensive. They also didn't take notice of what we were reading, either, which is how my sisters and I became big fans of Anne Rice. We even have copies of the BDSM erotica she wrote under the nom de plume A.N. Roquelaure. As you may have guessed, Lestat de Lioncourt is the aforementioned favorite literary character.

Assuming you've read all the Vampire Chronicles, like I have, Lestat has a somewhat checkered past. As a reader, your perspective on Lestat gets skewed because for the first book and the majority of the third, you see Lestat through the eyes of all the other characters in the books. Some think he's nuisance, others look up to him like he's a mentor (including Louis - you don't see this in "Interview" but Louis is quite devoted to Lestat as a dear friend after the events of that book). Some vampires believe he's their savior, others think his actions put all vampires in danger. However, you can only understand Lestat after reading his story in his own words, through the text of "The Vampire Lestat." Lestat is...complicated. He's not a bad guy, as you might think if you had only seen the movie. Honestly, the 1994 version of "Interview with the Vampire" makes him out to be more of a villain than he is. To really understand Lestat, just look at the first people he decides to turn into a vampires - his mother and his best friend/first love. Lestat suffers greatly from a fear of abandonment and every action he takes is to keep the ones he loves in his life. And one by one, the outcome is always the same. Nicholas resents Lestat for turning him and commits suicide. His mother, Gabrielle, leaves him during their wanderings to experience the freedom she never could've had as the wife of a French aristocrat. Marius sends him away after he awakens They Who Must Be Kept with his violin playing. And then there was that whole debacle with Claudia murdering him to run away with Louis. Needless to say, it's a common theme in his life. For all his efforts, his lesson on the Hero's Journey is how to be alone. Ironically, that's the most unbearable thing about immortality. Immortality comes at the price of watching everyone you love die around you, unable to prevent it yet also unwilling to join them in the after life. The Gift of Agelessness becomes more of a curse for those who have not mastered the ability to be alone without being lonely.

It is this dislike of being lonely that tempts him to do stupid things, like in "The Tale of the Body Thief," where he trades his immortal body for a mortal one for a day. Unfortunately, the body thief does not intend to return his body and Lestat realizes his foolishness. After nearly losing his immortality, he somehow ends up meeting the devil, drinks the actual blood of Jesus Christ, and by the end of the entire series of books, Lestat is basically the most powerful character in all of fiction. It's a crazy ride. At the latest point in the Vampire Chronicles (which Rice is still adding to), Lestat is nearly impossible to kill - though many have tried - and he's looked at as kind of the King of Vampires, even though he's reluctant to take on that role. That's the thing about building great characters - they have to always be evolving, while still retaining their core personality. One of the things I liked most about the Harry Potter books is that each book had a different tonal quality, which showed Harry's progression throughout the series. For example, in Book 5, Harry was pretty much a whiny, emo bitch so that book was all about him getting over his bad self, because taking action based on the ego always leads to bad times. Yet, in spite of all his missteps, it's his dedication to being courageous and loyal to the side of good that stands out. It's the same with Lestat - as he gains more experience, he goes through a transformative change with each new novel. The current Lestat is way more humble and understanding than newly turned Lestat ever could've been. That being said, he can still be a little extra at times - there's a reason people call him The Brat Prince. This is (or should be) how we take on our own lives. With each new chapter, we have to remember we are not the same person we used to be and yet the same person we always were. It's confusing. But if you get it, you get it. And if/when you do get it, I feel like it makes life go a whole helluva lot smoother, even when things start to get crazy in your external world.

"Lestat's Piano Sonata" Video

"Pop/Stars" by K/DA

This song was composed for the 2018 League of Legends tournament and ended up on Billboard's Top 40. I love that - League of Legends always made really great music for their character releases and tournaments, but it's rare that video game music makes the charts. Guess that means gaming is mainstream, eh? Anyway, K/DA (short for "Kill/Death Assist," which is LoL lingo) is a fake band comprised of two members from the Korean girl group (G)I-DLE and American artists Jaira Burns and Madison Beer. Technically, that makes KDA a "superband," which is what they call it when already successful artists form a new group. Examples of superbands include A Perfect Circle, Audioslave, Amaranthe, Journey, and Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, just to name a few.

I've been listening to "Pop/stars" a lot. It's a good song to dance to, especially when you're pissed off and need to get some energy out. I throw in a lot of punches and kicks, just because. I've been running on my own steam lately, I need some sort of outlet. Dancing has been it. It helps that the video has a bit of a routine to try and copy. No, I haven't nailed the moves yet but I will. My favorite part is Jeon So-yeon's rap break. I couldn't explain why - as I've said before, good rap is no different than poetry. If it's performed right, it conveys an emotion as unique as the words. Even though I don't understand Korean, it speaks to me. After looking up the translation, now I get why I like it:

See me anytime; using magic

Just once, I can get you

My spirit never dies, uh!

Pow-pow, you don’t know anything

It’s irresistible even if you don’t want it

I can tell from your face what you want

Love it! That's dark goddess energy right there....even earlier in the song, the lyrics refer to Akali being a "goddess with a blade." Anyway, the rap lyrics are from the point of view of Ahri, one of my favorite characters to play in LoL (when I played). Ahri is supposed to be based off the Korean Kumiho spirit, which is similar to other Japanese (Kitsune) and Chinese (Huli Jing) legends. These are spirits that appear as foxes - sometimes with 9 tails - but can transform into other things. Most notably, they can turn into beautiful women who seduce young men and eat their hearts. They live a long time, thousands of years. Depending on the legend, they can be friendly and kind but in most tales, they're bloodthirsty and malicious. Naturally, this is one of my favorite spirits. In LoL, one of Ahri's abilities is to blow a kiss that stuns her target and makes them move towards her, regardless of their free will. The kiss also drains their health a little bit. Sounds like a good ability to have.

Since I'm rambling about kitsune, komiho, and other fox-related nonsense, I'll recommend a book for those interested. It's called "The Sacred Book of the Werewolf" by Victor Pelevin. Pelevin is a Russian novelist so it takes place in post-Soviet Moscow (an interesting landscape, to say the least). Basically, a kitsune falls in love with a werewolf. However, it gets weird and highly philosophical, because two thousand year old monsters think way too much. But it's funny (if you're a fan of black comedy) and is an interesting twist on what is essentially the story of Little Red Riding Hood. I will caution - even though they keep it in the Horror section of the bookstore, it is not Horror, it is very much high-brow narrative literature inspired by the works of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. It's dark, but a different kind of dark than what you're probably used to.

Here's the official video for "Pop/stars" - it's better than the videos for most songs, nowadays, in my opinion but I like it when fictional characters put out music. I'm not sure there's enough out there to a whole month, but I'll figure something out. Enjoy!

"Pop/Stars" Video

"Confident" by Demi Lovato

Okay, here's that Demi Lovato song I was talking about last week in the Paper Bag post. As I've said before, Demi Lovato recovered from an eating disorder and she also struggles with Bipolar Disorder, as well. She's done a lot of work on herself in order to be happy and accept her body the way it is - and it definitely shows. Demi did a semi-nude photo shoot once, as a way to say, "Hey! I'm beautiful and my eating disorder didn't destroy me." People gave her a lot of shit about it, because even while healthy, Demi Lovato is fairly fit. But, as an also fairly fit former-ED sufferer, I can tell you....no matter how thin/fit/beautiful you are, taking pictures and liking them - or even accepting that you don't look disgusting - is hard.

Anyway, so I got promoted at my job and I've been trying to look more professional. And yesterday, my boss gave me a compliment, to which I replied, "I'm trying." And he said "I've been noticing you've been trying a lot lately. It's good." I mean, I took the compliment and thanked him but it made me wonder....how lousy did I look before my promotion? I thought I just looked normal but apparently, at least once in a while, I looked kind of frumpy. Which I understand. I still wear no make-up most days but I always do my hair. And I'm trying to spend more on myself because I'm always telling others to "Treat Yoself!" but I hardly ever practice what I preach. I've been feeling a lot better about myself since I started doing that, so apparently that shit works. Self-care works, people!

My son - poor soul - seems to really like contemporary pop music (i.e., Taylor Swift, Meghan Trainor, Ariana Grande, etc.) so I stumbled upon "Confident" while clicking through his music videos (which have completely ruined The Husband's recommendations....so file that in the "win" pile). It's a very powerful song - Demi's been collaborating with Fall Out Boy a lot and you can definitely see the influence in the opening music. It's definitely what I'd call a "Girl Anthem" and all you ladies out there should use it as such. Just consider the words in my favorite verse:

I used to hold my freak back

Now I'm letting go

I make my own choice

Bitch, I run this show

So leave the lights on

No, you can't make me behave

Remember that everyday and you'll be good. I'm loving the video, too. Because it ends with the girls turning the tables their oppressors. In related news, I'm reading a really great book with similar themes - "Becoming Dangerous," which is a series of essays compiled by Katie West from Fiction & Feeling publishing. I highly recommend it.

"Confident" Video

Rivers Cuomo and His Pinkerton Diaries

Weezer frontman, Rivers Cuomo, is going to release a companion book to go with the re-release of Weezer's second album, Pinkerton.  The album was more personal than some of their other works and Cuomo wants to give a peak into the thought process behind its creation.  The book will be comprised of journal entries and other writings/memorabilia during the period between '94-'97.  Being a big fan of Weezer and of reading personal diaries (something voyeuristic about that), I hope to check this out when it is released in January--which may be exclusively online, which will be the same for Alone III, the third volume in the Alone series.  Rivers also recently recorded a duet with Miranda Cosgrove and, while I'm cautious, I have an inkling that song is going to be hilariously tongue-in-cheek and atypical of an emerging pop starlet.
Read more at Pitchfork

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