"Make Me Wanna Die" by The Pretty Reckless

I was going to save this one for October because it reminds me of vampires but - fuck it! - today's a Pretty Reckless kind of day and there are more than enough awesome songs about vampires to fill up October. I'm just so over today right now. By the end of work, I found myself wanting to yell at people "stop draining me, you vampire!" I have nothing left to give - what do you want from me? So, True Story - I bought this book on raising my positive vibrations, because I'm trying to embrace this really weird journey I'm on. And today's affirmation was something super hippie - I think it was "feelings are messages from your intuition." Well, today, my intuition was fucking telling me to punch people in the face - and some of those people I actually really like. Obviously, I have more self-control than that, so I didn't. But I was probably more snippy and interrupt-y than I usually am. Perhaps a couple of f-bombs slipped, which I try to refrain from while at work. I'm so over it. It's just exhausting - I meditate and I'll get to feeling like I'm in this super good place and then this madness bubbles up from nowhere and I'm back to square one. I thought I was fucking past all this rage but - nope - still there. Side note: Fucking shadow work is a bitch. Simple fact - do with it what you wish.

When I hear "Make Me Wanna Die," I imagine this girl who is a perfectly good, reasonable, smart girl. And then she meets this guy, this vampire - and fucking nothing else matters. She's ready to up and become a vampire, too. Without consideration for what she'd be giving up, not even considering the curse that immortality can be and how she'll never be able to escape this connection to her Maker. But she's ready to do it, give him everything, if only he thought she was worthy of the Dark Gift (Anne Rice's term, not mine). For a long time, I've considered writing a TV script for the "Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter" series. In my fantasy where it actually gets picked up and I get to be creatively involved in the production, "Make Me Wanna Die" would've been the opening credits song. In my head, it would've been similar to "True Blood," which I loved as a show until they started getting all weird and added magical bullshit that didn't really fit in the plotline. I liked Anita Blake because the heroine is half-Mexican short girl with an affinity for the occult, like myself. In fact, the physical description of Anita sounds a lot like me (except for the long black ringlets - I've never had curly hair) - as you've heard, representation matters. The only thing I really don't like about the Anita Blake books is the presumption that you have to be Christian in order to be good. It was really heavy in the first few books and tapered off later, but it was something that rubbed me the wrong way when I first read it.

Taste me, drink my soul

Show me all the things that I shouldn't know

When there's a blue moon on the rise

I had everything

Opportunities for eternity

And I could belong to the night

Then your eyes

Your eyes

I can see in your eyes

Your eyes

Everything in your eyes

Your eyes

The Pretty Reckless is an American rock band fronted by Gossip Girl alumni, Taylor Momsen. In her teen years, Momsen was this pretty blonde girl and then, randomly, she decided to go goth. Not a big deal - a lot of girls did this in high school (the best ones did, anyway) but not as many formed a kickass band.

Before and After

One more, 'cause she's hot....

"Make Me Wanna Die" is probably their most well-known song (and it's honestly not that well-known) but the Pretty Reckless's entire first album, "Light Me Up," is great. One of the best purchases I ever made, most definitely. They've got some post-grunge influences, a little southern rock thrown in for good measure. I love Momsen's voice - it's a little grizzly, a little sweet, which makes it hella sexy. And she's not too bad looking either - she can definitely pull off the sexy/scary look. Kind of jealous. Fair warning - in the video, she's basically stripping down to her skivvies while walking to a cemetery that's on fire. That is so fucking metal.

"Make Me Wanna Die" Video