"Crystal" by Stevie Nicks

One of my favorite movies is "Practical Magic," for many reasons - I'll just name a few. One, it's about witches and I love everything about witches. And two, although there are many love stories within the plot, the chief love story is about the bond between sisters - Sally (Sandra Bullock) and Gillian (Nicole Kidman). Being the middle of a trio of sisters, I know that bond well - there are no other people in this world that understand better what I went through during my childhood because they went through it, too. Anyway, this song - "Crystal" by Stevie Nicks - starts playing during my favorite scene. Sally, who had just seen a desperate woman kill a dove because she wanted a man to love her again, performs a love spell called Amas Veritas to draw her true love to her. She makes the specifications very specific and almost unlikely, such as having two different eye colors (heterochromia iridum). When Gillian remarks, "I thought you never wanted to fall in love?" Sally replies, "That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist. If he doesn't exist, I won't die of a broken heart." Oh dear...I remember when I used to be that young and cynical.

I did a spell like this when I was a teenager. When I was younger, I knew that the man I was supposed to marry was tall and thin, with dark hair, glasses, and facial hair. I added hazel green eyes later but, in general, that's what I looked for. My best friend in high school used to make fun of me for having such a specific "type," but that's what I saw when I envisioned the hypothetical groom at my wedding. Everything else was fuzzy (I wasn't the type to plan my own wedding as a kid) but I knew those things for certain. And I did end up marrying a guy who was tall and thin, with dark hair, glasses, and a beard. No hazel green eyes, but I have a soft spot for brown eyes, too. It wasn't all physical - there were personality traits, like Sally had in her spell. Like being ambitious but also understanding how important family is. Letting me taste his food if we got different things at a restaurant (the Husband actually hates this so I've stopped asking). Being able to laugh at himself. Being an avid reader (not the Husband). Intrigued by creepy/paranormal/metaphysical nonsense (also not the Husband, an avowed Atheist). Et cetera, et cetera. I can't remember everything - the list was pretty long. I was a fucking teenager - I had pretty high standards, most of which ended up not being deal-breakers if a guy didn't meet them. Because Dream Men/Women are hard to find, so you have to make exceptions if you don't want to spend the rest of your life alone.

I got a lot of other crazy ideas from this movie, besides the whole "true love" spell thing. Of course, I would love to be the town witch who lives in a creepy but beautiful house by the sea - attached greenhouse/solarium included. Then, there was this idea that someone could fall in love with me just by reading something I wrote. In fact, the hypothetical Dream Man mentioned above wanted to read everything I wrote - including that re-imagined Snow White screenplay I wrote when I was 14 (which wasn't as good as I thought it was). This scenario happens in the movie. Sally writes a letter to Gillian that ends up in the hands of a US Marshall hunting down Gillian's ex-boyfriend, Jimmy Angelo. Coincidentally, the US Marshall - Gary Hallett - also fits the description exactly of the man in the love spell Sally did when she was 12 years old, which she had completely forgotten at this point because she was living her life, like a normal person would. But that's what happens sometimes. You're going about your life, perfectly fine in your own little world and then - Bam! - the Universe throws a curveball (like your sister's undead ex-boyfriend) at you. But it all works out in the end. Well, at least in the movies, it does.

As for the song - Stevie asks us if we trust what our heart is telling us. I mean really trust it? Like you know what it's telling you is true without any proof. And if we do know that it's true, do we listen and follow what it's telling us? Stevie wrote "Crystal" as she began yearning for more independence and searching for growth in her life. It also speaks of the loyalty her former partner/lover, Lindsey Buckingham, had for her early in their music career. Eventually, they broke up - one of the "most passionate breakups" in musical history, by all accounts. Anyway, long story short, Stevie Nicks listened to what her heart was saying, followed where it led, and it opened her up to a world of possibilities.

Do you always trust your first initial feeling

Special knowledge holds truth bears believing

I turned around

And the water was closing all around

Like a glove

Like the love that had finally, finally found me

Then I knew

In the crystalline knowledge of you

Drove me through the mountains

Through the crystal-like clear water fountain

Drove me like a magnet

To the sea

So....Do I always trust my intuition? Yes, usually - but I don't always follow it. Sometimes you just can't, even though you want to. Sure, you can affect change by making different choices and I'm a big proponent of being Masters of our own Fate. But I learned a long time ago that you can't force things, especially if it's the wrong time. For example, my husband and I had been criss-crossing paths for a long time before we met. I used to feel sad that we could've met earlier and we didn't. I don't now. We met when we were supposed to meet and I accept that's how the Universe works. Other times, I've acted on my intuition impulsively, with almost reckless regard for the consequences, and things worked out, like when I quit my job and moved to San Antonio. I'm almost certain that intuition can't steer you wrong, that it will tell you when it's right to act on that feeling. You just have to listen. I've instinctively believed all this hippie-dippy bullshit from a young age, but it isn't until recently that I accepted and trusted it. Life does that to you. Some people figure it out earlier than others and some never do. I wonder what might've happened if I had come to this conclusion earlier but that's a dangerous road to walk down. However, I've learned that all roads seem to lead to Rome - so even if you don't follow your intuition now, somehow, you'll get to where it's trying to lead you. Okay, I'm done with the "woo-woo" for today.

"Crystal" Video