Thoughts on "Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne

I'm going to warn you right now - this is not going to be the most important music post ever written. Honestly, it's kind of frivolous and stupid but I feel like we all need something lighthearted right now. And I literally couldn't sleep last night because these thoughts were stuck in my head. Now, there are three chief arguments I'm going to make here that have been bugging the shit out of me.

First, I think we can all agree - the song is a parable about not judging a book by its cover and you should get to know people before passing judgement. Blah blah blah. I'm all for that, in theory. However, there's a lot of research that says otherwise - how people perceive you is quite indicative of your trajectory in life. The truth is, my friends, "Sk8er Boi" is the exception, not the rule. All the skater boys I went to high school with were losers and stoners (and I say that as girl who often had crushes on these types of guys). And - guess what - I would say that most of them, a decade later, are still losers and stoners. Okay, I'm sure some of them went to college and/or have a decent job now but based on what I know from Facebook, not many went that route. And exactly 0% of them became famous rock stars. And, guess what fellas - a girl turning you down because she doesn't think you can provide/support the life she wants for herself is a perfectly legitimate reason to say "see ya later, boy." In fact, in my old age, I'm starting to think that is exactly what people should be doing when evaluating potential partners. Does this person share my values? Will s/he support the goals I have in my life? Does this person meet my needs as a lover? Do we both see the same future for ourselves? Which brings me to my next point....

He was a skater boy

She said, "see you later, boy"

He wasn't good enough for her

She had a pretty face

But her head was up in space

She needed to come back down to earth

This whole unhappy life that the girl supposedly has after high school is a figment of Avril Lavigne's imagination. She assumes that this woman would still want a guy she had a fleeting crush on after several years without contact, a marriage, and a child. Heck, we don't even know what this rockstar looks like. I've had many a crush on guys only to look back and ask myself, "Was I high? Or just really horny?" Contrary to popular belief, just being a rockstar doesn't automatically make you hot. It might help, for some ladies, but fame has its limits. In all likelihood, when she saw him on TV, she probably was like, "Good for him - sure, I'll support an old classmate." It sounds like this woman probably moved on and continued to live her life in a way that she wanted. Good for her. Also, I kind of resent how negatively motherhood is portrayed in this song. Like it's a sad Fate, a punishment she deserves for being judgmental in the past. No! I've been that mom at home feeding the baby all alone and I was - Gasp! - happy to do it. Because not everyone believes that motherhood is a punishment that happens to women with no hopes and dreams. Sometimes, it's actually a key part of their future aspirations. And it also implies that she's unhappy with her husband and would rather be married to a rockstar. But, let me remind you, Avril probably never met this woman, probably doesn't even know what she looks like, and she's making up a story in her head. This is a coping mechanism. What she's doing is projecting an unhappy life on a stranger in order to make herself feel more secure in her relationship. Why does she need to do that? On to point number three.

Sorry, girl, but you missed out

Well, tough, luck that boy's mine now

We are more than just good friends

This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see

See the man that boy could be

There is more that meets the eye

I see the soul that is inside

Finally, if a dude is still writing songs about a girl who turned him down for a date after five years, that should be a red flag for you. It means he's clearly not over her or, at the very least, is carrying some deep insecurities about worthiness. It also sounds like the story is one-sided - if the girl never told anyone, how can we really be sure that "secretly she wanted him as well." It sounds like this is a story his ego told him in order to keep him from really going off the deep end after being rejected. In fact, judging by the lyrics, it almost seems as if he became a rockstar just to impress/get back at this elusive high school hot girl. If she walked into his life suddenly - for example, after a concert he's very conveniently playing in their hometown - he might even jump at the opportunity to be with her, even if it's only for a night. Seriously?! How is this petty high school interaction so important that his "girlfriend" is singing a song about it? That seems as if he brings it up a lot more often than in a brief discussion about past relationships (and let's be clear - he was never in a relationship with this girl). In these cases, the current girlfriend isn't much more than a placeholder and the feelings aren't as mutual as she thinks they are. He's clearly holding onto baggage. Let him deal with his issues on his own.

Finally, as much as I loved Avril Lavigne in high school, I really fucking hate how she spelled the title of this song. It's lame. And for the record, her debut album had way better songs on it than this one. I don't know why it suddenly got under my skin this week, it just did. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode of "Jess Way Overthinks the Meaning to Terrible Songs."

"Sk8er Boi" Video