"Misery" by The Moffatts

I'm still in a cheesy mood so I thought I'd pull out this favorite from my preteen/teen days. You can even see the MTV logo in the corner! You know....from when they still played music videos. Y'all may not be familiar with The Moffatts. They weren't very popular in the United States...but they were huge in Canada briefly. They were Canada's answer to Hanson (and I fucking loved Hanson...still do, in fact...), a band of brothers who sang sappy love songs and played their own instruments. I only knew about them because I read (probably too much) Teen Beat. Don't judge me....the 90s was a crazy time for everybody. This particular song was featured on an episode of my favorite show at the time, which I'll talk about because I feel like it didn't get the recognition it deserved while it was on the air. "So Weird" was a Disney show about a musician's daughter who was obsessed with the paranormal and had metaphysical encounters in every town where the tour stopped. And her older brother was hot. Correction: Her older brother was my kind of hot.... He's still hot - and he started a Christian folk band and stars in Hallmark movies. I apparently have a thing for wholesome nice guys. It's really fucking annoying.

Patrick Levis circa 2000

Patrick Levis Now-ish

Enough about my preteen hormones, let's talk about the song. Pretty simple story. The singer is in love with a girl that may or may not know he exists. It's unclear whether or not he has actually talked to the girl in question. Perhaps he's been admiring her from afar. Perhaps engaging in some mild stalking. Who knows? Point is, he's a little obsessed. I mean, he's wishing he could hold her, touch her, feel her.....and I just realized I assumed a hetero-normative situation. He never actually says that he's singing to a girl in the song, because the lyrics are directed at the object of his affection. My bad. Anyway, so when he's not around this person, it sounds like it sucks for him. Seems pretty straightforward. I find the following lyrics pretty interesting - Misery is what I feel/When you're not around/So I can't heal. I'm curious what this person is supposed to be healing. A broken heart? Or does this person have certain curative properties? Maybe he just feels better about himself when they're around. There's a more current song that's been on the radio that has a similar sentiment. I like me better when I'm with you. That would explain why this person is so addicting for the singer. Because if someone makes you feel like you are all the things you wish you were, wouldn't you want to feel that way all the time? Of course! But it's probably healthier to try and figure out how to feel that way on your own.

I cry myself to sleep again tonight 

cause I cannot hold you tight 

I wish I could see you again tomorrow 

To take all this sorrow, sorrow, hollow

When I touch you 

Can you feel it 

When I need you 

Can you give it 

When I look in your eyes 

Can you see me 

When I fall 

Will you catch me 

Catch me 

Catch me

As much as I like this song, though, it kind of annoys me. First, as you may have noticed, the lyrics are uber melodramatic. Second, if a boy feels like this about a girl, he will write a song about it. Or a poem. Or sketch something. He'll do anything except actually tell said girl about how he's feeling. And then they'll be crushed when she starts dating a Chad. Surprise! You only have a chance with a girl if you actually tell them you like them. Girls can't fucking read minds! Isn't that weird? Such crazy-ness! Much scary! But, once in a while, if you put yourself out there, they like you back. Sometimes they don't - and that sucks but you'll get over it. And sometimes, you'll get to know them and it turns out that you weren't that interested in the actual person....and that's an important thing to know! But, the point is, you never know until you try. Until then, you're just putting the poor girl/boy on a pedestal, out of reach and that's no fun for anyone involved. Fortune favors the bold....and whatnot. And that is your Love Advice with Dr. Jess for the day. ::sigh:: Maybe I'm just being overly unsympathetic. But that would be a first for me.

The video isn't very interesting but the lead singer is attractive. His brothers are attractive, but less so. Everything else in the video is just kind of random. I think the message they were trying to get across was that life was going on around him but he always had storm clouds because his beloved wasn't there. But it misses the mark. I would also like to point out that this song is not on Spotify and that is very unfortunate indeed.

"Misery" Video

"I See the Light" as sung by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi

I've been trying my best to avoid Disney movie songs this month, even though it would be easier. However, I'm feeling a little sentimental and romantic today, so I watched "Tangled" with my son this morning. I think it's a beautiful movie and the changes they made to the story of Rapunzel enhanced it and made it better, in my opinion. The scene where they sing "I See the Light" is pretty amazing. When all the lanterns are released into the sky is one of those feats of 3D animation that leaves you in awe - another good example is when Miguel first enters the Land of the Dead in "Coco." So much work goes into just one single frame, but when a kid sees it, all they see is the beauty of it all. The lights, the reflection on the water, the exact color of the sky at twilight. To quote Professor Slughorn, it is "beautiful magic, wondrous to behold."

Rapunzel is one of those classic stories I remember my dad reading to us when I was little. Laying on the bed, listening to his voice while looking at the illustrations in our copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales. It's a little different from the story in "Tangled." Rapunzel's parents are not royalty, but a simple farmer and his wife. And the wife had a killer craving for cabbages while she was pregnant, so much so that her loving husband stole cabbages from a witch's garden. When the witch catches him, he begs for mercy and they make a deal that he can take as much cabbage as he wants. But, in return, the witch will take the baby when it is born and raise it as her own. Because the girl is so beautiful when she reaches her teen years, the witch locks her up in a tower with no stairs and no door, instead using Rapunzel's long golden hair as a ladder.

One day, a prince hears Rapunzel singing and falls in love. She draws him up with her hair and they form a plan - the prince will bring strips of fabric with each visit so that Rapunzel can weave a real ladder. Eventually, the witch finds out and cuts Rapunzel's hair. In some versions of the story, she finds out because Rapunzel is visibly pregnant; in others, Rapunzel lets slip that the prince has been visiting her. However the witch finds out, she casts Rapunzel out into the wilderness and the next time the prince visits, the witch lures him in with Rapunzel's severed hair and blinds him. The prince wanders the world, blind, until he hears Rapunzel's voice again. He falls into her arms and her tears restore his sight. Afterwards, they live together in the cabin Rapunzel has built, with the twins that she bore him after she was cast out of the tower.

All those days chasing down a daydream

All those years living in a blur

All that time never truly seeing

Things, the way they were

Now she's here shining in the starlight

Now she's here suddenly I know

If she's here it's crystal clear

I'm where I'm meant to go

The lyrics for this song are sweet. It's a duet where Rapunzel and Eugene are singing about how limited their worldview was until they met each other. Rapunzel, though she had books and paints and everything she could want, was isolated and trapped. Eugene, who has all the freedom he could've ever wanted, was chasing riches because he felt he lacked something. But together, they feel like they complete each other. Her unending kindness and hopefulness warms his heart, and his sureness and level-headed outlook makes her feel safe and secure. And it makes them want to be better for each other. I told you I was feeling sentimental.

Let's go back to the lantern thing. I love the lanterns - I totally understand why Rapunzel wanted to see them. For my hypothetical wedding, instead of rice or bubbles, I wanted to do lanterns. Because I wanted to have an evening wedding. I thought it was romantic, to get married under the stars. I try not to think of that hypothetical wedding, because I know it's never going to happen. But the lantern thing, I think that would be a really beautiful, special thing to do for a wedding. For Chinese New Year, there's a Lantern Festival on the last night and in some East Asian countries, they do big send-offs of floating lanterns to celebrate. That's something I would really like to see some day. For today's video, I'm featuring the scene from the movie.

"I See the Light" Scene

"That's How You Know" as sung by Amy Adams

The last couple of posts were kind of heavy, so let's start off this week a little lighter. Because it's been raining all day but I'm still in a pretty good mood. The movie "Enchanted" is a parody of the classic Disney fairy tale and romantic comedies in general. For those who haven't seen it, the plot centers around a classic animated princess named Giselle (played by the eternally lovely Amy Adams) who is thrust from her fairy tale world into the "real world," which is always invariably synonymous with New York City. A man and his daughter - who believes wholeheartedly in the magic of fairy tale romance - take pity on her and invite her into their apartment, because they're convinced she's just a beautiful crazy person that needs help. As a beautiful crazy person myself, I intensely relate to this situation and hope someone takes pity on me if I get lost in some new city (which will most likely happen one day). Anyway, crazy antics ensue - people start bursting into song, she turns their curtains into amazing dresses, and other fairy tale characters come into the picture, including Prince Charming intent on rescuing Giselle. But, of course, the cynical father falls head over heels for her, despite being engaged to another woman (played by the always amazing Idina Menzel). In the end, the Evil Stepmother/Sorceress is subdued, Giselle marries the father, Idina goes back to the fairy tale world with Prince Charming and everyone gets their Happy Ending. Well, except for the Evil Stepmother, but she was never going to get one anyway. In summation, it's a light-hearted romance with some really cute, tongue-in-cheek songs.

Amy Adam's in "Enchanted"

During "That's How You Know," the cynical divorce lawyer/father - Robert - is upset after a big fight with his fiance, Nancy (Idina Menzel), after she finds Giselle in his apartment. Giselle uses this song to convince Robert to send her flowers and apologize to make up for it, even though he's not big on the whole cheesy romance thing. The scene is pretty funny, because Amy Adams starts singing and Patrick Dempsey is like, "What the fuck is happening?!" and tries to get her to stop. And that's when the Jamaican steel drum band starts up....magically! Then everyone is singing and dancing and having a grand old time. I have often wished this would happen to me, that I would start singing and - Suddenly! - I'm leading a whole army of people in a musical number. Just one of the things a beautiful crazy person imagines while she's walking down the street. Towards the end, Giselle makes a wreath of yellow flowers and gives them to a bunch of doves to deliver to Nancy, to which Robert understandably says "Are you crazy? They're birds!" But, at the end of the song, he gets a call from Nancy - she's happy and all is forgiven. There's your relationship tip of the day, fellas - have a flock of birds deliver a bouquet of roses to your beloved when you've fucked up. Or give her chocolate - that works, too.

Well, does he leave a little note to tell you

You are on his mind?

Send you yellow flowers when the sky is gray? 

Hey!

He'll find a new way to show you

A little bit everyday

That's how you know

That's how you know he is your love

Some girls don't like this shit....but I do. Kind of wish The Husband would do more of it....or do it at all. He used to tell me watching movies like "Enchanted" (and "Sleepless in Seattle," which we watched on Amazon Prime this weekend) gave me unrealistic expectations. To an extent, he's definitely right. But I don't expect flowers every day...just on my birthday would be kind of nice. Oh well. I'm also the kind of girl who would give a guy a chance if he used a cheesy pickup line...if I thought it was really clever. My favorite is when a guy trips and falls while he's walking and then turns to whatever girl is there and says, "You're the only girl I've ever fallen for." ::swoon:: There are some other good ones out there on the internet - like "Am I dead? Because I'm pretty sure you're an angel!" or "If you were a library book, I'd check you out." It takes a lot of guts to sound this dorky and I appreciate that. But, understandably, it's hard to figure out which girls will think it's cute and which girls will give you a Death Stare. However, if a girl breaks out into random song, wondering if she'll like your cheesy pickup line is probably the least of your worries. Because, without a doubt, she has a Handsome Prince or an Evil Sorcerer following close behind and that's a level of shit most people would rather not deal with on a Monday.

The video is the aforementioned musical number. Because the expressions on Patrick Dempsey's face are half the fun. It also has the lyrics on the bottom, if you're inclined to sing along.

"That's How You Know" Video

"I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)" by Auli'i Cravalho and Rachel House

::WARNING:: I am going to get kind of super-ranty because "Moana" inspires all the fucking feels. I've seen it probably a hundred times and the story still brings tears to my eyes. Luckily, my son loves the movie as much as I do. Also, there will be spoilers if you haven't seen it. ::END WARNING::

I'm not sure if y'all know much about the structure of musicals. I doubt it....no one loves musicals as much as I do. In fact, it's a point of contention in our house because The Husband fucking hates musicals. (But why?) Here's where the rant starts. There is always a theme (sometimes two or more, if there are multiple main characters, as in "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Les Miserables"), which is the underlying melody that is carried throughout the other songs and holds the score together. Some songs may differ - usually, there is a ballad and/or a villain song that, although it still uses similar musical elements, is much more powerful and the influence of the theme is less noticeable - but overall, you'll notice that the songs complement each other. This is by design. In "Moana," the theme is "How Far I'll Go," which always triggers a feeling of intense hope within me. And yes, I prefer the Auli'i Cravalho version in the movie as opposed to that crap knockoff Alessia Cara sings in the credits.

The theme shows up early in the movie, because it is usually the main character's big song. For example, "Think of Me" is Christine Daae's debut in "The Phantom of the Opera." This is true in "Moana" as well - I believe "How Far I'll Go" shows up within the first 30 minutes, if not sooner. However, there is always a point in a musical when the theme is repeated, almost note-for-note. Generally, it will have different lyrics and it might even be played in a minor key, to make it seem darker and more sad. As you may have guessed, there is a reason for this. The reprisal usually appears when all hope seems to be lost, when the main character is about to give up. This song serves as an auditory signal that the character is having (or about to have) an epiphany. They've discovered some hidden truth - sometimes it's about their quest, but usually it's a revelation about who they are - and they are ready and willing to continue the journey. To fight for their end goal. As such, reprisals tend to be pretty inspiring, like "I Am Moana."

Of course, "I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)" inspires an even more dramatic emotional response in me than "How Far I'll Go." At this point in the movie, Moana - our heroine, if you couldn't tell - has just been abandoned by Maui and she's telling the Ocean (which is a real character in the movie) that's she's not built for her quest. She's not strong enough and that the Ocean should choose someone else - even though her island is pretty much out of time and is about to be swallowed by the darkness currently enveloping the world. But then her grandmother - the wise "village crazy lady," as she prefers to be called (a personal goal of mine...my master plan is to be the crazy old woman who lives in a cottage at the edge of a forest by the sea) and a spirit at this point, because she died right as Moana leaves on her quest - shows up and tells her that, no matter what happens, she is who she is. That's the revelation. Everything that we've learned about Moana up to this point - the pull she feels from the ocean, the wanderlust, her drive to please her family and ancestors - all of that makes her who she is and that's what makes her strong. The final lyric is her saying, point blank, no hesitation - "I Am Moana!" A battle cry, if I ever fucking heard one. Holy Self-actualization, Batman! Now if only we can all learn that lesson. I think I figured it out a while ago. My ancestors were treasure hunters and adventurers and, thus, that is who I am, too. I've tried to embrace that. It's hard sometimes....life gets in the way, doubt gets in the way. But I'm trying to be more of who I am, and that's a start. I'm including the lyrics to the final verse, because that's when I really get choked up.

Who am I?

I am the girl who loves my island

I'm the girl who loves the sea

It calls me

I am the daughter of the village chief

We are descended from voyagers

Who found their way across the world

They call me

I've delivered us to where we are

I have journeyed farther

I am everything I've learned and more

Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me

It's like the tide; always falling and rising

I will carry you here in my heart, you'll remind me

That come what may

I know the way

I am Moana!

I love "Moana" for all sorts of reasons. The animators did so much research on Polynesian culture and mythology and it shines. Every part of the story is beautiful, from Moana's journey to the legend of Maui and the return of Te Fiti's heart. In fact, I would argue that Te Fiti's revitalization is one of the greatest transformations in film history. Go ahead....Fight me. Also, it should be known that I have often imagined that - if I became magical, for some reason - making flowers pop up wherever I walked would be one of my "powers." I know that's probably a pretty useless gift, but I still think that would be amazing. Yeah, my brain goes weird places.

Anyway, I've been playing with the idea of making a collage for my desk at work - I know....so craftsy! - centered around the following quote: "Well-behaved women rarely make history." It would just be a collection of pictures of women - fictional and real - whom I admire. Moana would be featured, of course. Black Canary, who is my favorite superhero of all time - mostly because the original BC dressed like a punk street walker and could take down bad guys just by screaming. Agent Peggy Carter, my Marvel spirit/style/career guide. Scarlet Witch, who has experienced so much pain but still loves with her whole heart. Josephine "Josie" Marcus, of Tombstone fame. Stevie Nicks, obviously. I should get working on that....it sounds awesome.

Sorry for the lengthy rant but I did try to intersperse some knowledge so that it wasn't all completely pointless rambling. Video below.

"I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)" Video