"The Widow" by The Mars Volta

I was finishing up my first listen-through of "The Velvet Underground & Nico" when I was struck by a sudden urge to listen to The Mars Volta. No reason for it. The band's name just suddenly popped in my head. The Mars Volta is a band from El Paso and they were active when I was in high school and college. Since they were local, the University radio station played them quite a bit. Earlier this week, I rediscovered this wonderful, dark ballad, which I felt compelled to share to mark the lunar eclipse. Because that is something I do now.

There's something haunting about this song. The vaguely Spanish lilt to the melody. The twangy guitar and the slow rhythmic drumming. How the music comes in waves, receding as the lyrics come in soft, slowly and then rising up dramatically, to consume the listener. A lonely trumpet playing a funerary dirge, as the words hit your core. Then, of course, Cedric Bixler-Zavala's vocals infuse the lyrics with emotion - pain, desperation, contempt, envy, resignation - and that's what really makes this song feel so dark. Che Aimee Dorval sings a cover of this song. It's good, but it's not the same. There's something about the original that you just can't capture. The album version, after the last lyrics, devolves into a cacophony of noise. As the Widow succumbs to madness or so I assume.

Side note: I'm starting to see a pattern in what I like in songs lately. If it's dark and has a flamenco guitar (or a Spanish influence), I'm there. Apparently, that's my jam right now.

Look at how they flock to him

From an isle of open sores

He knows that the taste is such

Such to die for

And I hear him every night

On every street

The scales that do slither

Deliver me from?

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Then I'll hide

'Cause I'll never never sleep alone

There's this theory that the Widow is singing about Death. She sees his spectre everywhere. Death is a presence the Widow sees constantly. Though she sings about Him ruefully, she admits there's also a dark attraction she has. Some of my favorite depictions of Death are in the guise of a beautiful young man. I'm not sure where I read it but there is a fan explanation that this song is about a woman who is addicted to heroin and her drug dealer is her son whom she gave up for adoption. Or it could be that she's singing about her dead husband and remembering the early days when she was first drawn to him. Either way, there's a suggestion here that Death and her husband are one in the same. And she longs for him.

In that way, this song is strangely perfect for the upcoming Saturn-Pluto Conjunction on January 12th. Technically, we're already in the conjunction - it just won't be exact until Sunday. With the God of Death meeting the Lord of Time and Karma in his domain, the themes surrounding this conjunction are very much about doom and gloom. And imprisonment, especially the self-inflicted kind. The Widow is a label defined by Death. She can only exist after her husband - or lover - has died. Etymologically, widows aren't strictly defined by legal marriage and historically, women who lost men whom they were in love with, but not married to, were also considered widows. I think those situations are even more tragic - to lose a loved one but not have the societal standing for your grief to be adequately recognized. What happens to a man's mistress once he dies? She has to pretend she never loved him, to appear as just another mourner among the faceless funeral goers, while she dies inside. Assuming she dares to go to the funeral. Regardless, she's doomed to face the grief and pain alone. Something about the lyrics makes me think that's the case for the singer of "The Widow." Those situations make for some of the most compelling ghost stories, though. A young woman forever awaiting the return of her beloved from the War or the Sea, pacing the grounds of her estate or leaning on the rail of a Widow's Walk. It's always been a dream of mine to own a house with a Widow's Walk (but I'd settle for having a regular old balcony). Unfortunately, that's a style that's more common in expensive homes on the Eastern Seaboard, so that dream is unlikely to happen any time soon.

The Widow is also a common archetype in stories. She's a character who is both haunting and haunted. The Widow is someone to be feared, usually because she's wise, but often because she's cold and heartless. She generally has a tragic backstory. The implication is that she's unfeeling because she lost the love of her life. So if she seems reckless or ruthless in her actions, it's because she has nothing to fear. Not Justice, not Pain, and certainly not Death. She's survived the worst and now she's just biding her time until Death comes for her and she'll reunite with her beloved. The Widow doesn't care when or how or even why anymore. She is a solitary figure who is mysterious and seductive, but also a little dangerous. In a way, she's Death's match. I better stop there - this song has been stuck in my head off and on all week and it takes my mind to dark places.

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Let me die

'Cause I'll never never sleep alone

Finally, one of the greatest drummers of all time - Neil Peart (Rush) - died today. Completely unrelated to everything else I was ranting about but still worth mentioning.

"The Widow" Video

"Gravedigger's Chant" by Zeal & Ardor

I found Zeal & Ardor on one of my more recent pagan/witch music binges, which is where I pick an artist that I know on Spotify and go through all the artists on the "Fans Also Like" pages. Usually takes me somewhere interesting. For example, today's selection is blues/gospel mixed with black metal. I really like blues, especially those heavily influenced by black spiritual music, like Zeal & Ardor. Z&A was started by Swiss-American musician Manuel Gagneux, who was looking to create a new sound by blending genres that you wouldn't think mix well. I personally think he succeeded. From the Z&A Spotify page, the sound is driven by an idea of an alternate history - what if the African slaves that were brought to America had rebelled against their masters by rejecting Christianity and embracing the polar opposite? The music produced by Z&A seeks to answer the question "what would satanic spirituals sound like?"

Manual Gagneux is very direct in how he approaches the question. Like the traditional spirituals and blues we're familiar with, the subject matter is very dark. It captures the horrors of slavery and the resulting chaotic aftermath of the Jim Crow era. "Gravedigger's Chant" was the first single off of the most recent album, "Stranger Fruit," a play on Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit," which dealt with the prevalence of lynching in the South, even as recently as the late 1960s. Some would argue we still have lynchings today, they've just taken on a different form.

Bring the dead body down to the graveyard now

Bring the dead down low, down low

Bring the dead body down to the graveyard, sir

Bring the dead down low, down low

I've been blessed to have grown up and live in a time where there are many open witches of color, who are proud of their heritage, whether it be Native American, African, Latinx, Middle Eastern, or Asian. The issue that is coming to the forefront now is recognizing how much of pagan/new age culture was appropriated from minority practices. Some are obvious - like calling any smoke cleansing "smudging" (it's important to note that the act of smoke cleansing itself is not appropriative, but "smudging" refers to a specific Native American ritual). Others are more subtle, like using symbols for logos that have significant meanings to certain minority groups. Particularly, as a Latina, I find more and more people are calling themselves a bruja (that's the popular thing to do) without understanding the culture that brujeria evolved in or even practicing elements of brujeria. And I'm not certain how I feel about what Dia de los Muertos is evolving into, because what I'm increasingly seeing that people view it purely as an aesthetic, without knowing the cultural/religious meaning behind it. It's a weird feeling - I believe it's a beautiful tradition and I'm happy to explain the significance/let others join in, but it should also be given respect. As a result, I'm also seeing a disturbing trend in people screaming "cultural appropriation" even when it's not. So let's talk definitions - Cultural Appropriation is when someone adopts elements from a culture that is not their own. Going even further, it's usually in an exploitative way that also manages to exclude people from the culture they're taking from and without their permission.

For example, one of the most well-known instances of cultural appropriation is one most people won't recognize - Rock 'n' Roll. Rock actually developed out of the blues and jazz culture, which was generally a space for black people. It didn't become popular until Elvis Presley adopted the style and brought it to the masses. A modern equivalent would be rap and hip-hop, forms of which have been exported all over the world. Ironically, these styles have become popular in countries where the general populace harbors somewhat racist views on black people. Another somewhat controversial example would be the commercialization of yoga. It's important to note that many South Asian teachers in the 1960s actively pursued bringing yogic practices and teachings to America. However, the problems start when yoga becomes divorced from its spiritual relevance, cultural significance (the British tried to ban yogic practice during their occupation of India precisely because it separated Indians from something that united them- their cultural and spiritual identity), and the yogic spaces/benefits begin to exclude South Asians and other minorities (i.e., the American view of a yoga practitioner is a middle-aged white woman trying to stay fit). As an avid practitioner of yoga, I'm not saying stop doing yoga - I'm saying ensure you're doing it in a way that is not culturally appropriative. This article has some general guidelines to follow.

I know this rant has gone long but there's one final issue to bring up and that is the issue of "black magic." Don't call it that. There's no such thing as black magic or white magic, and that terminology  has racist/colorist roots. This has wider impact on the minority pagan population. For example, practices and beliefs from Black and (increasingly) Latinx cultures, such as Hoodoo, Vodun, Brujeria, Santeria, and Candomble have the common perception that they are "evil." This is a popular trope in horror films, where the protagonist has to combat an evil entity that was called forth from one of these belief systems. The real world consequences is that practicing elements of these cultures has been banned in some communities. Additionally, the terminology is based on the concept that black = bad/white = good, which is the entire justification for racism. When it comes to magic, practices aren't good or bad, it's the intentions behind them. Darkness isn't inherently bad and light isn't inherently good - it's how you use these elements within your practice that makes the difference. If you're interested in understanding more, there's some great perspective in this article. Unfortunately, on the opposite end of this dynamic, you have white supremacists co-opting pagan beliefs that have European roots, such as Celtic, Druidic, Heathen, and Nordic traditions. For those non-racist practitioners, this can have the highly undesirable side-effect of people assuming they hold white supremacist views simply for displaying symbols of their faith. The Atlantic published a fantastic piece on this issue a few years ago.

In summation, as paganism and witchcraft become more popular (and I foresee this wave continuing for a while, based on what I've seen of the younger generations), there's still some kinks to work out. As you may have guessed, the remedy for a lot of these questions is more research, understanding, and openness. Especially when it comes to the occult, it's always best to learn as much as you can before jumping into things.

"Gravedigger's Chant" Video