The lyrics struck a chord. They're written like a letter. Some of the lyrics aren't pretty - they aren't the sort of things you say in a song. The words don't exactly rhyme - some rhyme in an incidental, unconventional way. Or the rhymes are too obvious, i.e., rhyming "sad" and "mad." You'll notice the title is just a statement. You should be sad. The operative word being "should." Implying that the person she's singing to isn't sad. Probably doesn't even think what they did was hurtful. And that really tells you everything about this situation. I remember someone asking on Facebook once about what pagans thought happened to bad people if they didn't believe in the concept of Hell as a place where people are punished for their misdeeds. I think my response was something along the lines of "we hope justice gets dealt in the end but we're aware that it might not...and we make peace with that fact." It's not comforting. But I'm pretty sure it's the closest I can get to the Truth. I spend a lot of time thinking about karma, even though I know karma doesn't work the way most people think it does. Honestly - and this is what I've struggled to grasp for the past three decades - is that most of the time, even when you tell someone that they've hurt you, their first reaction isn't to feel guilty. Their first reaction is usually to justify it. To invalidate how you feel because "they didn't intend to." And that's when you realize that you aren't looking for an apology, you just wish they felt a little bad about it. Knowing this and seeing this ugly shadow rise up in my misdeeds, I've tried to cultivate the art of a sincere apology. Of understanding the pain I've caused before I even say the words. Even though I'm not sure I've ever received a genuine apology myself. There have been times I've been tempted to write a letter that says much of the same things Halsey put into her lyrics. But I have doubts about how much good it would do. No matter how impactful the letter I wrote would be, there's no guarantee that the person reading it would even comprehend what they were reading. Sometimes, I wonder if the guy Halsey is writing these songs about knows they're about him. But then I remember - even if he does, the words are falling on deaf ears.
I'm gonna start this out by saying (By saying)
I really meant well from the start
Take a broken man right in my hands
And then put back all his parts
But you're not half the man you think that you are
And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, girls, and cars
I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you
'Cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you
One of my latest hobbies as I dive deeper into astrology (among other things witchcrafty and spiritual) is watching a few of my favorite astrologers give the forecast for the changing cosmos. It's part of self-learning. I watch each of them, compare notes, see if what they're saying matches what the others are saying. There's variation in interpretation but there shouldn't be glaring inconsistencies. Usually, I'm listening to the same forecast two or three times - which I consider a good thing. Sometimes, the way one astrologer frames their ideas resonates more. Makes things click into place faster. Lately, I've been thinking I should also write down how the energy feels and my impressions of the current state of affairs before watching these videos. Because - usually - the forecast matches what I've been feeling build up in my own body, in my own mind. I'll notice if I feel more sluggish or if I'm having trouble focusing - and I'd like to correlate that data to what's happening in the biweekly astrological forecast. Use myself as an occult test subject, if you will. Anyway, we just had the Aquarius New Moon on Friday and all the astrologers said the same thing. A shift has definitely happened - everyone can feel it. But the inability to see it in the physical is causing frustration and impatience. There's also an uncomfortable square between Mars in Sagittarius and Venus/Neptune in Pisces. It's a feeling like there should be more happening right now than what is. We should be seeing more change in our world but everything is still static. Infuriatingly static. And we're getting frustrated because - even internally - we feel like we should've made more progress. We should've broken these old patterns already. We made the decision that things were going to be different in 2020 - Why is everything still the same?! But, I was watching another favorite tarot reader and she stated the uncomfortable truth about times like these - when it seems like nothing is changing, everything is. It's the calm before the storm. So, if you feel like a rubber band about to snap, take a breath - that's normal and everyone is feeling it. Uranus only went direct a couple weeks ago - he hasn't had a chance to get up to speed yet. Be patient.
Fun fact: A couple years ago, Halsey tweeted that she wanted to date Evan Peters. Guess who she's dating now? Yep....Evan Peters. That's some hella good manifestation magic. I wonder if that would work for me. Hey Universe, I want to be married to ...... who? Sebastian Stan? Henry Cavill? I don't even know if those guys are into sex magick....suppose it doesn't matter, since I'm not single anyway. Although, it is kind of surprising/disappointing that my celebrity crushes are actually somewhat close to my age now. Like everyone, I still feel very much like a teenager and, thus, I assume all my celebrity crushes are too old for me. Time is strange magic.
"You should be sad" Video
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