I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights
(Backyard light)
We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights
(Wasted nights)
It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone
(Sleep alone)
So darling, don't, don't wake me up, 'cause my thrill is gone
(Say I'm wrong)
In the sunset turning red behind the smoke
Forever and alone
Yeah!
When we consider the Taurus-Scorpio axis, which tonight's full moon engages, a key element to understand is how each sign interprets and gains strength. Taurus is concerned with independence and establishing strong roots that are ultimately based within the self. Being an earth sign, Taurus is like a large tree with deep roots, that is wholly distinct from the rest of the forest. Scorpio energy, on the other hand, gains strength from entanglement, by merging with others and absorbing traits to create a greater whole. As a water sign, Scorpio can be like the mouth of a river that meets the ocean - you can't tell where either begins or ends but the mixture creates a more fertile area. I'm going to step away from the analogies a bit, but the end result is there is a muddiness of identity that is particularly unique to Scorpio. This sign has a gift for transformation but the end result is that the elements used for this transformation become fused and are extremely hard to extract from the end result. Even if these elements are toxic, even when they block true transformation. Hence the struggle with letting go.
Out of all the signs, Scorpio has a tendency to be associated with some negative descriptors - obsessive, possessive, vindictive, manipulative, secretive, cold, and even cruel. However, being a Fixed sign, Scorpio is considered committed and loyal (they're considered the most loyal sign), partially because of this desire to merge. All of that other stuff is about self-preservation and protection. Once entangled with an element (habits, relationships, thought patterns, memories), they take on ownership of it, so that removing it forcibly becomes an act of violence and an experience of pain. As such, instances of betrayal and rejection are especially painful for this sign ("my love for you was bulletproof"). In order for Scorpio placements to truly trust another, they have to become vulnerable and let down these defenses - which is fucking terrifying for them. Ironically, they have a desire for others to be vulnerable with them, because that's how entanglement is achieved. If you are a Scorpio placement (especially in the Big Three), people just tend to tell you random information about themselves while you're trying to say as little as possible. Happens to me all the time, without any prompting at all. Meanwhile, I have issues opening up to people, even my family. But back to the whole fear of vulnerability thing - the fear stems from the logic that if someone truly saw you and understood you, they could destroy you. If they wanted. Scorpio thinks strategically and avoiding destruction is the name of the game - giving someone this level of power is something they don't do easily or willingly. After a betrayal of this magnitude, vengeance against the betrayer becomes a requirement of existential paramount.
I know that sounds bad, but I promise there are a lot of good things about Scorpio energy. However, this full moon is about releasing the bad stuff - such as the desire for vengeance and holding onto the pain of betrayal and rejection - because letting go of these things are ultimately for our highest good. The collective is currently experiencing a lot of turmoil for obvious reasons - anger, fear, grief, anxiety, depression, numbness. All of which serve an important purpose initially. However, holding onto these emotions without an outlet or way to transform them is unhealthy and can be destructive. That's why the transformative power of Scorpio is so critical at this juncture. Though you may disagree with where we are in this pandemic, we are being pushed into a transitional stage. Transitional stages are difficult, because there's a pull to return to normal but also a renewed awareness that you can't. You can deny this reality (by either refusing to leave isolation or stubbornly trying to return to normal); you can be depressed that your options are still limited; you can bargain about what guidelines you'll follow and which you won't; you can be angry at being forced to follow inconvenient rules for the "greater good;" or you can accept what is happening and try to forge a new path within the current constraints. You may recognize these options as the stages of grief and we're all somewhere within this spectrum, or maybe vacillating between different stages as circumstances change. I've noticed - both in my own recent thoughts and the shared experiences of the people I follow on Twitter - that there has been an increase in nostalgia and memories popping up from the past. This is part of the process and I think it's something the brain does naturally to ease the pain of letting go. I'm finding that these memories - even the unpleasant/unhappy ones - have less of a sting, less of an impact on me. While this may be primarily reflective of my own growth, I'd like to think that this has been true for others as well. I feel as if there has been a shift in the tide. It's very slight, almost imperceptible, but I believe once we're on the other side of this, there will be some much needed clarity and truth. And, just in time, the moon is moving into Sagittarius tomorrow.
Also, the nodes are out of the Cancer-Capricorn axis and now on the Gemini-Sagittarius axis, which brings an entirely new and different round of bullshit for the collective. But I'll save that for another day, because I've noticed I've been hyper-ranty lately.
Final argument of the day - I think this song fits more my Scorpio Moon than my Cancer Sun because - in times of rejection and betrayal - Scorpio may prefer destruction (to the point of destroying themselves) but Cancer knows the best vengeance of all is cutting off someone's access to you. They don't do it willingly, but it's worth the pain in the end. Indeed, if a Cancer walks away, you've fucked up pretty badly.
Out of all the signs, Scorpio has a tendency to be associated with some negative descriptors - obsessive, possessive, vindictive, manipulative, secretive, cold, and even cruel. However, being a Fixed sign, Scorpio is considered committed and loyal (they're considered the most loyal sign), partially because of this desire to merge. All of that other stuff is about self-preservation and protection. Once entangled with an element (habits, relationships, thought patterns, memories), they take on ownership of it, so that removing it forcibly becomes an act of violence and an experience of pain. As such, instances of betrayal and rejection are especially painful for this sign ("my love for you was bulletproof"). In order for Scorpio placements to truly trust another, they have to become vulnerable and let down these defenses - which is fucking terrifying for them. Ironically, they have a desire for others to be vulnerable with them, because that's how entanglement is achieved. If you are a Scorpio placement (especially in the Big Three), people just tend to tell you random information about themselves while you're trying to say as little as possible. Happens to me all the time, without any prompting at all. Meanwhile, I have issues opening up to people, even my family. But back to the whole fear of vulnerability thing - the fear stems from the logic that if someone truly saw you and understood you, they could destroy you. If they wanted. Scorpio thinks strategically and avoiding destruction is the name of the game - giving someone this level of power is something they don't do easily or willingly. After a betrayal of this magnitude, vengeance against the betrayer becomes a requirement of existential paramount.
This isn't fair!
(No!)
Don't you try to blame this on me
(Ohhh)
My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me
And God damn it, I can barely say your name
So I'll try to write and fill the pen with blood from the sink
Woah oh, oh oh
But don't just say it, you should sing my name
Pretend that it's a song 'cause forever it's yours
And we can sing this on the way home
I know that sounds bad, but I promise there are a lot of good things about Scorpio energy. However, this full moon is about releasing the bad stuff - such as the desire for vengeance and holding onto the pain of betrayal and rejection - because letting go of these things are ultimately for our highest good. The collective is currently experiencing a lot of turmoil for obvious reasons - anger, fear, grief, anxiety, depression, numbness. All of which serve an important purpose initially. However, holding onto these emotions without an outlet or way to transform them is unhealthy and can be destructive. That's why the transformative power of Scorpio is so critical at this juncture. Though you may disagree with where we are in this pandemic, we are being pushed into a transitional stage. Transitional stages are difficult, because there's a pull to return to normal but also a renewed awareness that you can't. You can deny this reality (by either refusing to leave isolation or stubbornly trying to return to normal); you can be depressed that your options are still limited; you can bargain about what guidelines you'll follow and which you won't; you can be angry at being forced to follow inconvenient rules for the "greater good;" or you can accept what is happening and try to forge a new path within the current constraints. You may recognize these options as the stages of grief and we're all somewhere within this spectrum, or maybe vacillating between different stages as circumstances change. I've noticed - both in my own recent thoughts and the shared experiences of the people I follow on Twitter - that there has been an increase in nostalgia and memories popping up from the past. This is part of the process and I think it's something the brain does naturally to ease the pain of letting go. I'm finding that these memories - even the unpleasant/unhappy ones - have less of a sting, less of an impact on me. While this may be primarily reflective of my own growth, I'd like to think that this has been true for others as well. I feel as if there has been a shift in the tide. It's very slight, almost imperceptible, but I believe once we're on the other side of this, there will be some much needed clarity and truth. And, just in time, the moon is moving into Sagittarius tomorrow.
Also, the nodes are out of the Cancer-Capricorn axis and now on the Gemini-Sagittarius axis, which brings an entirely new and different round of bullshit for the collective. But I'll save that for another day, because I've noticed I've been hyper-ranty lately.
Final argument of the day - I think this song fits more my Scorpio Moon than my Cancer Sun because - in times of rejection and betrayal - Scorpio may prefer destruction (to the point of destroying themselves) but Cancer knows the best vengeance of all is cutting off someone's access to you. They don't do it willingly, but it's worth the pain in the end. Indeed, if a Cancer walks away, you've fucked up pretty badly.
"Bulletproof Love" Video
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