"MakeDamnSure" by Taking Back Sunday

I've been feeling a lot of heaviness these past couple of days. I'm going to try to lighten it up a bit (but not too much) because there's a little voice in my head saying "give in to the darkness." Thus, I've chosen a surprisingly catchy tune for today. I love this song and, while there is something disturbing about the lyrics (I'll get into why), I will be totally honest and just say I chose this song because it was stuck in my head. All. Day. Long. Which is funny, because I honestly don't think I'd heard it in several years, until it popped up on my YouTube recommendations on Sunday night. It would not be an exaggeration that I was obsessed with this song in the mid-2000s (or roughly around my freshman/sophomore year in college....TBS's "Louder Now" was released in April 2006). And the obsession has returned....

Speaking of obsession, this song reminds me a little bit of the Netflix show, "You," starring Penn Badgley. The show has been considered problematic because, while Joe Goldburg (Penn Badgley) is handsome, incredibly smart, and thoughtful, he is also a stalker. The show makes stalkers look sexy. Even for someone like myself who has had uncomfortable encounters where I was followed or had my personal space invaded - yes, even I was kind of wishing I had a Joe to stalk me. And I know he's dangerous - that's the thing about Joe. You know from the first episode that he is not a good guy....but he seems so endearing, sweet, and (dare I say it?) loving that you almost kind of want to pretend he didn't kidnap Beck's fuck buddy. Unrelated (but still kind of related) point: Penn Badgley has the most Scorpio I've ever fucking seen in a chart (5 Scorpio placements and a rumored Scorpio ascendent) which, according to astro-Twitter, makes him perfect for the role. And apparently, looking up celebrity charts is something I do now.

Yep, I have a type....Dashing but Dangerous

Just a brief summary of the show and I'll explain how that relates to the song, I promise. "You" centers around Joe's inner narrative after he has a "love at first sight" experience surrounding this girl, Beck. Instead of doing something normal, like asking her out, he immediately starts researching her, and then uses that research to slowly insinuate himself into her life and seduce her. And it works. Because, of course, it would. I think I've said it before on this blog but I would think it's romantic if someone wanted to know absolutely everything about me. Then that little voice in my head tells me "you're not that fucking interesting." Neither is Beck, by the way, it turns out. However, the way Joe talks about Beck in his head is almost like she's a science experiment, a puzzle to figure out, and/or a mythological creature to capture. Then you cut to the scenes where she's just being herself and she's just a normal girl doing normal girl things. Trying to be a writer in NYC even though she has this crushing feeling that she's terrible at it; dodging expensive gifts from self-righteous friends because she knows they come with strings attached; and asking herself why she gives in every time her fuck buddy decides he wants her company. So....yes. Yes, Joe looks like a savior to Beck, because he seems like he actually cares about her and she wants so desperately to be loved by somebody. But - and I haven't watched the whole series yet (however, I did peek ahead) - it doesn't end well for her.

You've got this new head filled up with smoke

And I've got my veins all tangled close

To the jukebox bars you frequent

The safest place to hide

A long night spent with your most obvious weakness

You start shaking at the thought

you are everything I want

'Cause you are everything I'm not

Let's move onto the song, shall we? The narrative of the song follows a similar line as "You." This average guy meets a girl that he knows is way out of his league. But he just wants to get close to her, be close to her, even if hanging out in the same places is all it ever is. He "trip[s] over everything" she says, because he's just so amazed she's talking to him, it's almost unreal. Then, in the second verse, against all reason - in spite of his lame "you are so cool" pick up line - it's implied that he gets her into bed. But after that, we don't really know what happens. Except in the bridge, he says he's going to "make damn sure that [she] can't ever leave." How does he do that, pray tell? Manipulation? Murder? "You won't ever get too far from me." I think that's the most chilling part. No matter what she does, she can't escape. But it's the chorus that really reminds me of Joe Goldburg the most. "I just want to break you down so badly." Like reverse engineering. You break something down until you have the component pieces to get a better understanding of the whole mechanism. Find out what makes her tick. It's not a painless process.

To round out this post, let's talk about an archetype that's more of a fictional trope: the wolf in sheep's clothing. Both "You" and "MakeDamnSure" make the main character (or singer) out to be a nice guy, when in fact their motivations are corrupt. The goal in both cases isn't love, but possession. Beck thinks she's making her own choices but the whole time, she's being manipulated into situations by Joe. Even the imagery in "MakeDamnSure" is reminiscent of Little Red Riding Hood, which we learned way back in September was a cautionary tale about unchecked sexual obsession. Unfortunately, the world is full of wolves in sheep's clothing because manipulation is a very effective tactic. When used effectively, the manipulator preys on our greatest weaknesses -  our need for social acceptance and praise, our motivation to succeed, and even our desire to be wanted or loved. If the wolf plays their cards right, they can have you crawling back for more (even after you've said enough's enough).

Questions to consider:

• What areas of your life don't you feel free in? Why not? What could you do to feel freedom again? And, the million dollar question, do you actually want freedom? (There are no wrong answers - if you're afraid your answer is not "socially acceptable," then that's something you need to look take a deeper look at.)
• What habits or obsessions are occupying your mind? Why? And are you handling them in a healthy way (e.g., taking a moment to meditate/clear your mind, focusing on something else, psychotherapy)?
• In your personal interactions, how often do you feel like you're being manipulated? Or how often do you find yourself manipulating others? 

“Do you know that one day I'll kill you? I won't do it because I'm no longer in love with you, or because I'm jealous, but—I'll just kill you for no better reason that I sometimes long to devour you.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler

"MakeDamnSure" Video

"Onion Grin" by Fable Cry

I think this one would be good for October, too, since it's kind of creepy. The song is about Little Red Riding Hood, but from the point of view of the Big Bad Wolf.  The Wolf is obsessed with Little Red, which is fitting. A literary analysis of Little Red Riding Hood reveals that, at the core of the story, it's a cautionary tale for young girls to be weary of strange men. The Big Bad Wolf represents the prototypical male stranger - hairy, big, maybe a little scary, with an insatiable hunger. I won't spell it out for you, but you know what that insatiable hunger is. And the song is full of those implications. In some retellings of the story, Little Red and her grandmother successfully fight off the wolf. But in others, they aren't saved until a noble Huntsman comes to the rescue. And in still others, no one escapes. This is how the original story by Charles Perrault ends - with Little Red climbing into bed with the Wolf and being consumed. The Big Bad Wolf wins, sometimes.

Fable Cry front man, Zach Ferrin, describes the arc of "Onion Grin" as an example of what unchecked romantic obsession can become. The lyrics follow the thought process of the Big Bad Wolf while he is stalking beautiful Little Red. She's walking alone at twilight when he spies her. He considers eating all the treats inside in her basket of goodies but it's "not enough." He approaches her and strikes up a conversation, slowly gaining her trust, even though she's only known him for a few seconds. As she's telling him everything he needs to get to her grandmother's house, he's devouring her with his eyes. Imagining what she tastes like. Finally, he captures her and she's struggling to escape. But by the end, he's gotten what he's been desiring. Yes, Fable Cry is describing the Wolf eating someone, but it sounds dangerously sensual. He's definitely eating her, but what part? I'll let you decide.

Tell me all your fears, dear, I can guess what they're all about 

I whisper in your ear with an onion grin and a whiskered snout 

The colour that's in your hair is on your lips, it's in the trees 

It's in my heart, it's on my tongue, it's everything I see

Fable Cry describes their music as "scamp rock," which I imagine is in the same family as chap hop. Basically, they take instrumental and lyric inspiration from the Steampunk era and mix it with modern musical styles. I found their sound very similar to Aurelio Voltaire, and if I looked through more of their songs, I imagine some of them would be as dark as Voltaire's work, too. As with "Onion Grin," they draw the inspiration for their songs from mythological and fantastical sources, such as fairy tales. Fable Cry originated in Nashville, so their music tends to have some bluesy influences and sounds, like honky tonk pianos and banjos (I love both of these!). And when they perform, they dress like Victorian Goths...I'm totally okay with this. Every Fable Cry song I've heard sounds tailor-made for Halloween season, so don't be surprised if you hear from them again. Merry Mabon!

"Onion Grin" Video