Speaking of obsession, this song reminds me a little bit of the Netflix show, "You," starring Penn Badgley. The show has been considered problematic because, while Joe Goldburg (Penn Badgley) is handsome, incredibly smart, and thoughtful, he is also a stalker. The show makes stalkers look sexy. Even for someone like myself who has had uncomfortable encounters where I was followed or had my personal space invaded - yes, even I was kind of wishing I had a Joe to stalk me. And I know he's dangerous - that's the thing about Joe. You know from the first episode that he is not a good guy....but he seems so endearing, sweet, and (dare I say it?) loving that you almost kind of want to pretend he didn't kidnap Beck's fuck buddy. Unrelated (but still kind of related) point: Penn Badgley has the most Scorpio I've ever fucking seen in a chart (5 Scorpio placements and a rumored Scorpio ascendent) which, according to astro-Twitter, makes him perfect for the role. And apparently, looking up celebrity charts is something I do now.
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| Yep, I have a type....Dashing but Dangerous |
Just a brief summary of the show and I'll explain how that relates to the song, I promise. "You" centers around Joe's inner narrative after he has a "love at first sight" experience surrounding this girl, Beck. Instead of doing something normal, like asking her out, he immediately starts researching her, and then uses that research to slowly insinuate himself into her life and seduce her. And it works. Because, of course, it would. I think I've said it before on this blog but I would think it's romantic if someone wanted to know absolutely everything about me. Then that little voice in my head tells me "you're not that fucking interesting." Neither is Beck, by the way, it turns out. However, the way Joe talks about Beck in his head is almost like she's a science experiment, a puzzle to figure out, and/or a mythological creature to capture. Then you cut to the scenes where she's just being herself and she's just a normal girl doing normal girl things. Trying to be a writer in NYC even though she has this crushing feeling that she's terrible at it; dodging expensive gifts from self-righteous friends because she knows they come with strings attached; and asking herself why she gives in every time her fuck buddy decides he wants her company. So....yes. Yes, Joe looks like a savior to Beck, because he seems like he actually cares about her and she wants so desperately to be loved by somebody. But - and I haven't watched the whole series yet (however, I did peek ahead) - it doesn't end well for her.
You've got this new head filled up with smoke
And I've got my veins all tangled close
To the jukebox bars you frequent
The safest place to hide
A long night spent with your most obvious weakness
You start shaking at the thought
you are everything I want
'Cause you are everything I'm not
Let's move onto the song, shall we? The narrative of the song follows a similar line as "You." This average guy meets a girl that he knows is way out of his league. But he just wants to get close to her, be close to her, even if hanging out in the same places is all it ever is. He "trip[s] over everything" she says, because he's just so amazed she's talking to him, it's almost unreal. Then, in the second verse, against all reason - in spite of his lame "you are so cool" pick up line - it's implied that he gets her into bed. But after that, we don't really know what happens. Except in the bridge, he says he's going to "make damn sure that [she] can't ever leave." How does he do that, pray tell? Manipulation? Murder? "You won't ever get too far from me." I think that's the most chilling part. No matter what she does, she can't escape. But it's the chorus that really reminds me of Joe Goldburg the most. "I just want to break you down so badly." Like reverse engineering. You break something down until you have the component pieces to get a better understanding of the whole mechanism. Find out what makes her tick. It's not a painless process.
To round out this post, let's talk about an archetype that's more of a fictional trope: the wolf in sheep's clothing. Both "You" and "MakeDamnSure" make the main character (or singer) out to be a nice guy, when in fact their motivations are corrupt. The goal in both cases isn't love, but possession. Beck thinks she's making her own choices but the whole time, she's being manipulated into situations by Joe. Even the imagery in "MakeDamnSure" is reminiscent of Little Red Riding Hood, which we learned way back in September was a cautionary tale about unchecked sexual obsession. Unfortunately, the world is full of wolves in sheep's clothing because manipulation is a very effective tactic. When used effectively, the manipulator preys on our greatest weaknesses - our need for social acceptance and praise, our motivation to succeed, and even our desire to be wanted or loved. If the wolf plays their cards right, they can have you crawling back for more (even after you've said enough's enough).
Questions to consider:
- What areas of your life don't you feel free in? Why not? What could you do to feel freedom again? And, the million dollar question, do you actually want freedom? (There are no wrong answers - if you're afraid your answer is not "socially acceptable," then that's something you need to look take a deeper look at.)
- What habits or obsessions are occupying your mind? Why? And are you handling them in a healthy way (e.g., taking a moment to meditate/clear your mind, focusing on something else, psychotherapy)?
- In your personal interactions, how often do you feel like you're being manipulated? Or how often do you find yourself manipulating others?
“Do you know that one day I'll kill you? I won't do it because I'm no longer in love with you, or because I'm jealous, but—I'll just kill you for no better reason that I sometimes long to devour you.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler
"MakeDamnSure" Video
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