Just a little level-setting - in psychology, an archetype is a set pattern of behavior. Plato considered these pre-existing ideals/templates and Carl Jung called them the "fundamental units of the human mind." There are literally thousands of archetypes, each one subtly different from another, but most people find it helpful to distill the myriad of versions out there in to a set of core archetypes. Every character you meet in a story (film or literature) is an archetype and it's important to remember that you might identify with aspects of many (or all) archetypes. This is normal - for the purpose of shadow work, it helps to select a few of the ones you most identify with so as not to become overwhelmed and then move onto others as you get more familiar with the process. Essentially, you're using each archetype up as a mirror to analyze your motivations and inhibitions. Sounds simple but it requires being truly honest with yourself and taking responsibility for your past actions, which most people have difficulty with.
I'm gonna be released from behind these lines
And don't care whether I live or die
And I'm losing blood, I'm gonna leave my bones
And I don't want your heart it leaves me cold
I don't want your future
I don't need your past
One grand moment
Is all I ask
For today, let's talk about the Victim archetype, which usually looms large in most people's psyches. The Victim's mindset usually goes like this - Only bad stuff happens to me. People always use me. No one could love the real me. Nothing ever goes right. I'm a failure because I'm not this way or that. Things won't ever change because this is just how things are. I can't change because this is just how I am. We think it's a mentality that only affects ourselves but, in reality, we end up warping our whole lives around it. We allow it to swallow up those we supposedly love. It becomes a free pass to get away with our worst behaviors, because no one understands how much pain and suffering we've been through. We use it as an excuse to not be grateful and happy for what we have in the present, because it's not perfect or exactly how we wanted things to be. We use it to feel entitled to others attention and/or affection. To monopolize others' time and then become annoyed when they turn their focus to something else, regardless of the reason. It becomes a permission slip to not give back as much as we get or be an active participant in our loved one's lives because it would be inconvenient or uncomfortable for us. It becomes an excuse to not pursue goals or try new things.
The Victim is really more of a Master Archetype, because there's so many ways to be a victim. For example, The Hider is a victim of their own insecurities and lack of confidence, and thus feels entitled to withdraw from life, to keep secrets, to judge others, and then feel angry when you can't anticipate their needs. The Long-sufferer, who thinks that because they had such hard circumstances, they're entitled to another's attention or support without offering any in return. Or - and this is possibly the worst - The Crusader, a victim of their own loneliness, negativity, and self-hatred, who has made it their mission to make others victims as well and victimizing those they think should be punished. The core issue with this Master Archetype is personal responsibility and the blame is always externalized - even if they hold negative views of themselves, their insecurities are always someone else's fault and not their own. Why should they have to change?
It's important to remember that you can be a victim of circumstances without taking on the Victim mentality. Here's a few questions to ask yourself:
- When something goes wrong, are you always assigning blame (either to yourself and others), even if the circumstances were out of everyone's control? An example of this would be assigning blame because it rained on your picnic.
- Do you feel like no one understands you or do you get unreasonably angry/frustrated if someone is unable to understand you? Why? Is it because you feel like voicing your needs/desires would be a burden on someone else?
- Do you feel like you have to control everything? Conversely, do you tend to let others dominate, even if it's not in your best interest? Why?
- Do you beat yourself up for not meeting ideals that are not your own? For example, thinking you should behave or look a certain way that society or your family/friends prefer.
- Are you not going after your own dreams/goals/self-improvement because you don't think you're good enough or don't "deserve" it? Where did those beliefs come from?
After you ask yourself those questions and answered them (I mean really answered them, to include examining your past to understand where those thought/behavior patterns started), that's when you can start the long process of reprogramming those thoughts. And by long, I mean it's a never-ending journey. Spoiler alert: A lot of affirmations are involved. Letting go of control and trusting others is also a big part of fully integrating this part of the Shadow Self. It requires you to be present and actively examine your thoughts as you have them. Finally, you have to release who you used to be....because if that version of yourself was worth keeping around, you'd be happier now. I know that's hard to hear. But, to quote Captain America, "you just gotta move on." Don't stay stuck in the past. It's gone. And if you're gonna be here, be here.
I love this song - it reminds me that I'm more than my corporeal form and the only limits I have are the ones I set for myself.
"Leave My Body" Video
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