If you listen to the lyrics, "Broken Angel" is about an angel trying to fit in - maybe punching above his weight a little - but he's doing his best. But his best never seems to be enough for those judging him. As a result, he does something a little reckless to prove himself, but he pays for it in the end. When asked about the song in an interview, Zac said it was about the disappointments we face in life. Even if you go after a dream, you may not achieve it. Even if you find the perfect person, you might not be together forever. Fairy tales don't always come true, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in them. The fact that these moments are so rare is what makes them precious and beautiful, and we should keep looking for them. In Zac's words, "you should still get up and strive to be a better person, live a better life and do these things; not to fall into the norm, but strive to do something great with your life." I concur, which is why I'm so hopeful still. Just because things didn't work out this time doesn't mean you should give up.
I pull my way up through this crowd
To find your body crushed on the ground
It's so obvious; why couldn't you see?
That you can't go high-flying
Without a pair of high-flyer wings?
Little one's broken lying on the ground
Trying to get up 'till his last breath out
Wings are strewn everywhere; there's blood all around
'Cause even angels die, but that light just fades
It's so sad, but he'd be so proud
The archetype I wanted to discuss today is a shadow of the King, a master masculine archetype - the Weakling. He lacks confidence and security in himself, and thus gives his power away to others. He allows those others to tell him who he is and how he should behave. Even how he should feel about certain situations. Because he feels powerless in his own life, he may be oversensitive to the moods and criticism over those who he perceives to have power over him - his supervisor, his friends, or his significant other. - and may feel desperate for their approval or validation. When he doesn't get it, he grows despondent because he has no identity without it. This feeling of powerlessness leaves The Weakling doubtful of his ability to lead, act, or even make decisions within his own life.
The Weakling is often a doormat, giving in to other's whims easily and allowing them to shape his identity. If you're manifesting this shadow in your own life, this may take the form of poor boundaries - letting people get away with treating you disrespectfully or allowing them to disregard your needs to avoid confrontation. It may manifest as Imposter Syndrome, forever paranoid that someone will discover that you're a fraud who doesn't know anything. You may come of as confident - maybe even a little arrogant - but deep down, you're afraid that you're not actually as good as you say you are.
It's important to look at these different aspects of the Weakling in order to bring ourselves into alignment with our inner King energy, which is balanced, decisive, and driven; has clear values and boundaries; has a strong sense of identity, with very little need for external validation; and is actively pursuing a greater purpose within his life. Essentially, with The King archetype and its shadows, we're concerned with being in our own power, which includes being cognizant of how we wield it (or if wield it at all). Some questions to ask during shadow work:
- Do I let others tell me who I am? Do I let others tell me how to feel or behave?
- What negative beliefs do I hold about myself? Can I identify the original source? - This requires examining your personal relationships (especially parental and romantic relationships) and being honest about how much negativity others project onto you. It may be uncomfortable to admit that people you love have subconsciously programmed you to think badly about yourself. Don't worry - we'll handle how to address that in a couple sentences.
- Do I have a clear vision for my life? Or did I have a clear vision/dream at some point that I chose to give up on? If so, why did I give up on it?
- Am I overly dependent on external validation? How do I react when I don't receive the validation I need from someone (especially loved ones)?
- Do I let others violate my boundaries? - For example, if a loved one breaks a promise or returns to a behavior after you've already said makes you unhappy, do you hold your ground (reinforce your boundary) or pretend to let it go (even though you're privately hurt)?
Those should take a while to sort through, because these questions tend to reveal core wounds. Fear of abandonment or rejection. Feeling unloved and unworthy because of something intrinsic to ourselves. Things that make as act out in unpredictable ways that may not always be in our own best interest. Luckily, inner child work, defining clear boundaries, and developing/understanding our core values and goals can help resolve most of these issues.
- There are multiple ways to develop a vision for your life. The simplest way is to write down what you want to accomplish in your life and start pursuing it. Good exercises are coming up with a Bucket List, creating a dream board, or writing your own obituary (a personal favorite - my obituary has been revised/re-written several times). The point is to be clear about what you want in life, which people really need to start doing earlier.
- Write down all your good qualities and then craft personalized affirmations - e.g., I am wonderfully creative individual with tons of ideas.
- When someone upsets you because of something they did, tell them. If they do it again, tell them again in very definite terms. And if they keep doing it, even though they know it upsets you, really consider whether or not you need to have that person in your life. Please note that I'm not talking about annoying ticks like chewing too loudly. I'm talking about big things like lying to you or keeping secrets (even small, seemingly innocuous things), violating your personal space, lashing out at you when they're upset, ignoring your needs, gaslighting - just generally abusive stuff that we've come to accept because, well, that's "normal" in a relationship, right? No. Not in healthy one.
- When someone criticizes you, really consider whether it's a) warranted and b) true. Don't let others tell you who you are. And if they do, kindly tell them to fuck off (if possible - this is probably not suitable in all situations).
- Really take notice how the people you hang around react to you implementing the above two suggestions. If they are not supportive and don't respect the boundaries you set (or get upset that you're setting boundaries), really consider how much you need to interact with those people. Yes, this includes family, which is why that makes it an uncomfortable step.
- When interacting with others, be aware of whether or not you are respecting their boundaries and identity. All people deserve to be treated with respect and decency, regardless of your personal opinion of them. Part of shadow work is acknowledging that you may have not always treated people with kindness and understanding, and using that knowledge to be a better person going forward.
Not going to lie, shadow work can be intensive and it's not easy to do because it tends to trigger us in the worst way possible. I recommend not listening to songs like "Broken Angel" after trying to answer some of the questions listed today. It's not going to be pretty for anyone involved. In the end, though, it's be worth it because the point is to be your best self. Part of that is understanding where the shadow came from. I'll end with a quote from Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu: "Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing the self is enlightenment. Mastering others requires force. Mastering the self requires strength."
"Broken Angel" Video
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