On a serious note, being a rock star (or any type of creative) is not the conventional path to go down in life. A lot of families would not be supportive of that choice and even if they seem supportive, most would probably not agree to be in a video where they're acting like fools. A video that will live forever on YouTube. But that's the message of the video - Dorothy is the Black Sheep in a family that would prefer to pretend they are "normal." Then she literally flips the table on them and awakens a wildness which is inherent in all of them, but fully embodied in Dorothy. Authenticity, as a principle, requires you to be your true, honest self, even when it makes your loved ones (like family) uncomfortable. It dares you to demand being heard when others would prefer your silence. But this is self-betrayal. And the ones who matter will not want you to do it, will not force you to conform to narrow roles to make their lives feel safer.
Young blood, stand and deliver
No need for a queen affair
Young blood, gotta pull the trigger
When the whole world running scared
This week, there was a controversy on Twitter where some woman commented that "Friends-giving" is more popular than actual Thanksgiving and how sad that is for society because we've lost our focus on the family. This POV is extremely privileged and narrow-minded, as plenty of people pointed out. Friends-giving is something that became popular in the LGBT community because many LGBT people were ostracized from their biological families but didn't want to lose their traditions. In recent years, Friends-giving has been gaining more traction because people my age have had to move far away from their actual families in order to find decent-paying jobs. Speaking from experience, it's not always easy to take off work and spend the money to visit family - my closest family (my sister-in-law) lives over 5 hours away and visiting my parents requires a good 14-hour drive (and that's mostly spent just trying to get out of Texas). It's even worse for my older sister, who has lived on the East Coast for the last decade when the majority of our family lives in the Southwest. For someone as social as she is, Friends-giving allows her to feel connected to a family of sorts, even if they aren't biological. And I guess that's the core of it - friends are the family you get to choose.
I follow Dr. Nicole LePera on Instragram (handle @theholisticpsychologist) and she recently posted an infographic which stated the following wisdom - the longevity of a relationship is not relevant to the health of a relationship or the depth of the connection. That's a falsehood we cling to, thinking that the length of time we've known someone is an essential factor for decisions related to the relationship. There are people who have stayed in toxic relationships for 30+ years and society lauded them for it, even though it was slowly destroying them. People will visit abusive family members every year for the sake of keeping the peace, sacrificing their well-being to avoid criticism. Meanwhile, you can meet someone and instantly know it's a meaningful connection, and yet society devalues it because it's short-lived. I've been lucky enough to have had my fair share of these meaningful connections, mostly at times when I needed them the most. Yesterday, I was talking to a coworker/friend about a problem I've been having and, though our relationship is mostly a professional one, I found that I was incredibly grateful he was open enough to share his experience and listen to mine. And this year, that's what I'm most grateful for - the connections (friends, family, coworkers), both past and present, who have allowed me to become who I am now.
Happy Thanksgiving!
"Raise Hell" Video
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