Perfect for: A fast, steady run, especially if you're feeling nostalgic or looking for something upbeat
Lost a little momentum for this month because I opted to leave my personal laptop at home on my work trip. That and I've been feeling sick all week (the long plane rides that bookended my work week didn't help), so it's highly doubtful I would've had the energy to do much writing, even if I had. Not to say I didn't do any writing - in fact, I've been in planning mode and I'm still going to try to work in some good stuff before April ends. Moving on, I hate to humble brag but I've been to a number of great concerts. I have seen legends perform. Legends, I tell ya....LEGENDS! That being said, my favorite memories are the three times I've seen Hanson perform. You read that right - I have seen Hanson not just once, but three times. Think what you will but I'm still a fan after nearly two decades. And it should be noted that they are still making music, performing live, and drawing crowds after two decades, which is more than can be said about most 90s bands. There's several reasons for that - they're extremely talented musicians, they're dedicated to their craft, and their music has evolved with the times. If you know anything about what gives an artist staying power in the industry, those three things are key - natural (but still constantly developing) talent, dedication and love for the art (and the work that is required), and the ability to change with times but stay true to their core style.
I've been feeling a bit nostalgic so I'm going to take this opportunity to share my adventures from those three Hanson shows. The first one was on 22 October 2000 - I remember the date exactly because it was Zac's birthday and the audience was prompted to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. I remember lamenting at the time that it was too bad he was a Libra and not a Scorpio (even with my rudimentary pre-teen astrological knowledge, I knew Cancers-Scorpios were very compatible romantically but Cancers-Libras were not - yes, the Husband is, in fact, a Scorpio). With a two year age gap (he was born in 1985 - so really only like a year and a half), I was also convinced he was way too old for me (geez, I was so young and stupid). This, however, did not stop me from having a huge celebrity crush on him, because he is kind of a funny, goofy guy and I love that in people. And he's the drummer - I like drummers, to the point where I'm still toying with the idea of getting my own drum kit and learning how to play. Going to this concert was lucky for me - I had only barely started being friends with the girl who had the tickets and when someone else turned down the offer, she asked if I wanted to join. Of course, concerts are great bonding experiences and I was good friends with the whole group that went after that. It was also the first time I remember going to a concert without much parental supervision. My friend's parents went, of course, but they had tickets in the stands, not on the floor like we did (on the floor! that was also very exciting). This was during the "This Time Around" tour and probably an extremely formative event in my musical history.
Fast forward to the following summer, my two best friends (which included the girl who invited me to the aforementioned concert) planned a Hanson-themed adventure to Tulsa, OK, to attend the first annual Riverfest, headlined by - as you may have guessed - Hanson. There were other bands there - really good ones, too, and I honestly wish I could remember their names. Anyway, because it was an outdoor fest with general seating, we got to the venue before the sun came up so that, when the gates opened, we could run to the main stage and get good spots. And we did! We ended up being in the front row and I was able to get quite a few good pictures of them playing. Afterwards, we slept for basically a whole day of our trip because outdoor music festivals are exhausting (that may seem obvious, but at 13-14 years old, we didn't know that). Then, we went around doing things that we thought the band would do - like eating at Taco Bueno, playing laser tag, and hunting down houses with three car garages. We're pretty sure we found their actual home but - for obvious reasons - we did not actually confirm that. But teen stalker antics aside, it was a fun trip.
The third show happened a decade later, after I had graduated university and moved back to Arizona. I was working in a call center while looking for better career opportunities (it was during the worst of the Great Recession, so it was hard goings). Hanson was playing in a dive bar as part of a radio station promo in between albums. It was being marketed as 90s nostalgia and, yes, most of the people who showed up were women around my age. I dragged my sister and her boyfriend with me, mostly because I didn't want to drive to Tucson alone at night, and bought them each a beer as a thank you. The bar smelled like tacos - we learned later that there was a taco bar on the second floor that was included in the cover charge. That taco bar haunts me because, well, I totally would've partaken in some shady bar tacos if I had known. The show was amazing, as it always is. They played acoustic and, even though I wasn't in the front row, the place was so small that I was even closer to the stage than I had been at Riverfest. My sister's boyfriend, who is over 6 feet tall, kindly took a few blurry pictures and videos for me - I'd share them but they're not as good as I remember and way too dark to even make out that it's Hanson. As silly as I felt at the time, I'm really glad I went. My inner child was/is very glad I went, because I know not going because I felt like it was childish would've been something I regretted. Take that as a lesson - go ahead, buy those tickets to the Backstreet Boys reunion tour. It may never happen again!
I can tell you one thing
We're not better on our own
I'm tired of running from my feelings
Are you listening?
Okay, enough about my foolishness, let's talk about the song. The lyrics are pretty straightforward - the singer (i.e., Taylor Hanson) has been acting like a jackass and his girlfriend has walked out. Not only that, but it sounds like it she's not coming back this time - 12 nights is a long time to not have any contact with someone you intend to get back with. I'm always interested to hear the other side of the story with these songs. For example, this lyric: Well, I can tell you there's no room to play this game. What if she's not playing a game? What if she's just tired of your bullshit, Taylor Hanson - did you ever consider that? Maybe walking away isn't just some manipulative ploy to get you act different, but a way to save herself from an unhappy situation. Newsflash: Not all women are manipulative psycho bitches who do things like that. From the lyrics, we can gather that he was starting fights and breaking promises. And she totally doesn't have to deal with that nonsense. If she's going to take you back, Tay, there needs to be some serious change. And not superficial changes, where you go back to your old habits when you think she's forgotten about everything, but a clear choice to do better going forward.
I was thinking about the lyrics in the bridge, especially the part where he's "tired of running from [his] feelings," which sounds to me like he was trying to create distance because the amount of love he felt for her scared him. This is a classic symptom for people who fear abandonment - they push away people who they really care about because that means they have something to lose. Something they realize would be really painful to lose, so they'd rather do the damage themselves and end it to save themselves from the agony. They also have trouble trusting that someone could genuinely love them without expecting something in return. It's complicated. However, it reminds me of a girl I know who has encountered this situation multiple times. I will preface this with one thing you should know about the girl - she is the kindest, most loving person I know. However, she broke it off with her boyfriend of 10 years, which came as a surprise to everyone because we all thought they'd be together forever. When I talked to her about it, she told me that she didn't want to be with someone who didn't know how they felt about her, that was too afraid to love her. You may wonder why it took her 10 years to come to this conclusion but, sometimes, it takes people a while to learn their lessons. Especially when they're really hoping things will work out in the end. In her next relationship, she didn't wait near this long - she was starting to see signs of the same situation, acknowledged that it wasn't what she wanted, and walked away. She still holds space for them, of course - she did/does love them. But she also loves herself and part of loving yourself is choosing people who aren't afraid of loving you - who don't want to keep a distance between you, who don't push you away, who can be honest about their own feelings. It doesn't mean you can't love those people, it just means that you shouldn't put your life on hold for someone who may never be able to meet you on that level.
Those are just some of the deep thoughts that were keeping me occupied during my 8 hour layover yesterday. I was also pondering the difference between treating people as temporary versus treating people as if you wanted them to be permanent. I'm still kind of mulling it over, because my train of thought was very philosophical and I thought I was getting to something genuine at the heart of human interactions. I'm still working it out and hopefully, I'll have a place to share my thoughts next month. Yes, I already have a theme picked out for next month and I'm SUPER EXCITED about it! But we got to finish out this month first, so stay tuned :) and thanks for reading.
"Lost Without Each Other" Video
No comments:
Post a Comment