"Change" by Lana Del Rey

You knew Lana Del Rey was going to show up eventually. Lana Del Rey is one of the artists that is actually open about being a witch and, thus, she's an icon in the pagan community. Earlier this year, she discovered her true birth time and confirmed that she is not, in fact, a Gemini but actually the most Cancer-iest Cancer ever. As if we didn't already know. She's also a Scorpio Rising - I feel like that's obvious, too. Anyway, you can tell she's a Cancer because her aesthetic is old-fashioned romance. I feel like that vibe is present in anyone with Cancer in their big three - examples I'm pulling from are Taylor Swift (moon), Liv Tyler (sun and rising), Jennifer Garner (rising), Juliette Binoche (rising), Jason Schwartzman (sun), and Aubrey Plaza (sun). Again, my new favorite hobby - analyzing the natal charts of celebrities. The Scorpio gives an unexpectedly dark tinge to any chart, especially when combined with Cancer. You're just like - she's so beautiful and talented so why do all her songs sound so fucking sad? Who knows. You can never know the depths of one's heart.

I've been annoying myself lately. Ugh. Nothing seems to fit anymore and it feels like I need to be planning for something, but I don't know what. I feel uninspired yet having really weird fucking dreams that I can't make sense of even when I write them down. I've gone from wanting to be around people all the time to feeling like being alone for the rest of my life wouldn't be so bad. It feels like there's a change coming but everything is just static right now. It hangs in the air, like an electric charge. I have this feeling that, if everything is going to fall apart, I'd prefer for the Universe to just get it over with. But no. I'm at it's mercy until it reaches a tipping point - and then who knows what's going to happen. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. Yes, I'm aware that I've used some version of the verb "to feel" at least five times in the last two paragraphs. That annoys me, too. I hate being so stereotypical but, apparently, my chart is showing. Always with the fucking charts.

There's something in the wind

I can feel it blowing in

It's coming in softly

On the wings of a bomb

There's something in the wind

I can feel it blowing in

It's coming in hotly

And it's coming in strong

That's what I think this song is about, though. Instead of resisting change, we can choose to summon the strength to embrace it, even though we're anxious about it. There are some things I've been meaning to do that, when I think of them, I get really scared and I have to think myself through it. Why am I afraid? What do I think is going to happen? The weird thing is my intuition is telling me to take these leaps of faith, which I guess is why they call 'em "leaps of faith" - because you're fucking terrified of what happens once you take action. I'm trying to calm my mind, reminding myself that everything will be okay in the end (because I honestly believe it will). Change is the only constant and, usually, change is good. Even when it doesn't seem like it. I'm rambling again, mostly because I felt I needed to post something today but didn't have a plan. That's one of the reasons I'm going to switch things up in 2020 - need a new format that challenges me to think, rather than just word vomiting all over the Internet. The theme idea, while fun and challenging, has gotten stale in my mind. Almost restrictive. I'll tell you a secret - sometimes the song of the day is NOT what I post on here. It kills me - I'll find something amazing or hear a song I forgot about and I won't share it because it doesn't fit the theme. It goes in the vault for when I can use it or I'll post the most poignant lyrics on Twitter. Oh well - a year was a good run and it kept me writing somewhat regularly. I'm going to pat myself on the back and call that "progress."

"Change" Video