"Which Witch" by Florence + the Machine

We've already established that Florence Welch is a witch. Not only in self-identification but in the power she portrays through her music and her performances. Even watching her performances via video recordings holds a special type of magic. As I've said before, the "Ceremonials" album touched something in my heart that transformed my life utterly. And so it is with almost all her music for me - it just rings true, bringing out parts of my spirit I'd forgotten were there. With "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful," she transmutes some deeply painful parts of her past, including bouts of self-hatred, loneliness, and relationships (one in particular) that wrenched her heart from her chest. All emotions and experiences we've all dealt with, myself included. In case you were concerned, today is the New Moon in Scorpio, which is supposed to herald an inner transformation that will carry us into 2020, bringing in a new adventure. If only we're brave enough to let go of the past. "Which Witch" speaks of the inner battle to do just that. To let go of old habits, to stop crawling back to people and situations that drain us, that leave us feeling unworthy. More than anything, Scorpio season challenges us to embrace our own intensity. Like the other Mars-rule sign, Aries, Scorpio dares us to speak our truth with our whole chest. That's one of my favorite new sayings - Say it with your whole chest. I've noticed that a lot of people don't, though. They're scared - and I understand that. I am too. And I must admit, this month's moon return has been difficult for me. My North Node is in Aries - in evolutionary astrology, my destiny to embrace individuality and independence. I was considering this, taking in my whole life story from this perspective. I've struggled with a desire to stand out and be noticed but having a talent (even an instinct, at times) for blending in. I suppose that's what it means to have a Libra South Node - wanting so desperately for everyone to feel comfortable, loved, and fairly treated, I often ignore my own needs. In trying to be everything for everybody, it's easy to lose yourself.

Who's a heretic now?

Am I making sense?

How can you make it stick?

Waiting 'til the beat comes out

Who's a heretic, child?

Can you make it stick, now?

And I'm on trial

Waiting 'til the beat comes out

To understand "Which Witch," you have to recognize that Florence is trapped in a cycle. She's in a relationship where she's trying to exert her own needs, individuality, and independence. In other songs (like "Moderation"), we've seen that her intensity has been overwhelming to others. In this song, she asserts this is just how she is - "And it's my whole heart/While tried and tested, it's mine." She acts from her heart and she's tired of keeping it behind bars just to make someone else comfortable. However, for this one person, she keeps going back and repeating the same mistakes, even though she knows it weighs on her. Make no mistake, though - she is entirely aware of the choice she's making. She feels tied to this other person and even though she tries to move on, she ends up going back, even when she shouldn't. The lesson is never learned. She says her heart can keep taking the knocks, but does she believe it? It ends with her singing notes in a ghostly scale, vaguely reminding me of Catholic Mass, which I suppose is appropriate. The title was inspired by the Inquisition, in which people were stuck in a hopeless situation where they would be tortured regardless of what they did. Whether they denied they were witches and heretics, or not. And maybe she's stuck in her own hopeless situation. It's painful to stay in the relationship and painful to go - so what does she do?

As you may have guessed, I looked to Florence's chart for answers. Like me, she has her North Node in Aries. It also surprised me that she's only a year older than me - I always thought she was at least my older sister's age. Maybe it's just because she has an old soul - of course, I get told that all the time, too. I don't really know what that even means. To be honest, I'm really bad at guessing people's ages - I always think people are younger than they are. Perhaps that's a good thing - like I have a talent for seeing people's inner child or something. Anyway, in situations like this, I've found that most spiritual teachings say to follow your heart. To chase the most authentic version of yourself. From the song lyrics, it seems like she recognizes this but it's an answer she doesn't want to accept - that she should leave the relationship and not look back. This is usually the case - the choice that takes you out of your comfort zone - that asks you to have faith in your own strength and believe that everything will fall in place after whatever trials and tribulations you have to undergo are done - is often the right choice.

I'm miles away, he's on my mind

I'm getting tired of crawling all the way

And I've had enough, it's obvious

And I'm getting tired of crawling all the way

When you first decide to get started in witchcraft, you will find that every book on witchcraft - from beginner grimoires to advanced ceremonial magic - tells you to begin a meditation practice. For young aspiring witches/wizards/sorcerers/what-have-you, this can be extremely frustrating. Because you're eager to get start making changes in your external world. However, what many young people don't understand is that, in order to make changes in the external world, you need to make changes in your internal world. As above, so below; as within, so without. In order to do that, you must embrace the stillness, the solitude. You must make peace with your mind and your soul. You must become comfortable with being alone, with only your own thoughts to guide you. Depending on your life experiences, this can be scary. The mind keeps many demons in its shadows, and walking through there alone can bring out all sorts of monsters you didn't know were hiding. There are so many distractions out there, people can spend whole lifetimes avoiding the intensity of their own Truth. For those looking to experience the mysterious and magical, you have to avoid the tendency to give in to the unrelenting and often pointless "busy-ness" of mundane life. Constant mindfulness. Even I - after a decade of self-identifying - have only really understood this part and gotten serious about having a meditation practice. It teaches focus and discipline, helps you recognize your thought patterns, and - most importantly - it makes you intimately familiar with how your body feels when you have an intuitive insight. All of this is the foundation of real magic. And, lucky you, the New Moon in Scorpio is the perfect time to begin a meditation practice.

"Which Witch" Video