"Without Me" by Halsey

In my last post, I said the Universe speaks to me through music, sometimes. This is actually a very modern magical method used by "Millennial witches" (*cough*like myself*cough*) for divination. Everybody's methods are personalized but the gist is that you ask the Universe a question, then shuffle your playlist, and the song you hear has the response. Sometimes, I'll do this and just turn on the radio or turn on Spotify. Some people pick a number between 1-10 and then skip that many songs to get to the answer. In my opinion, this isn't necessary - mostly because you'll know the answer when you hear it - but to each their own. Certain songs can be signs, too - for example, I read somewhere in the pagan blogosphere that if a song reminds you of someone, they're thinking of you. I don't know how true that is but it's a nice thought. Additionally, if you're hearing a certain song a lot - particularly one that resonates with you - this could be the Universe trying to tell you something. That's where today's song comes in.

I heard "Without Me" during my last trip to Comic Con, but it wasn't the whole song. It was just a snippet - it was an advertisement for Halsey's new single that was recently released. The commercial seemed to keep coming on, but I was weirdly looking forward to it every time. Because I was drawn to the song. By the end of the weekend, I was like, "OMFG, I have to hear this whole fucking song for some reason." Long story short - I hunted it down and listened to it and it's basically one of my favorite songs right now. It's been steadily climbing the charts (currently number 3 as of yesterday) so it's been gaining more airplay on the radio. That's not too unusual. The unusual part is that it always seems to be on the radio first thing while I'm driving....so I'll listen to it (of course). Then, when that station hits a song that I don't want to listen to, I'll change to a different station (I'm a notorious station-hopper) and - surprise! - "Without Me" is playing again. It's gotten to the point where I'm hearing the song 4-6 times a day and I don't spend that much time driving. Strangely enough, I'm not bored with it yet, but damn! I hear you.

Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Thinking you could live without me

Thinking you could live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (yeah, I don't know why)

Thinking you could live without me

Live without me

Baby, I'm the one who put you up there

I don't know why (I don't know why, yeah yeah)

Anyway, that was your daily dose of woo-woo bullshit. "Without Me" does have an actual meaning, by the way, and the message is pretty relevant to a lot of people (including myself). It's been postulated that the song is about Halsey's turbulent relationship with G-Eazy, but in interviews, she said that it could be about a lot of relationships (romantic or otherwise). The song is supposed to serve as a reminder not to let people take advantage of you. Particularly for me, I have a tendency to give more than I get. People (myself included) tend to do this when we're afraid someone won't stay around if we don't. What's more, people with this issue also tend to sublimate their own needs, out of not believing they deserve more. I know this! I went to school to understand this shit and everything! And, still, I fall into these same patterns. It stems from childhood abandonment issues - I'm working on it.

There's also a level of pettiness to the song, though. I mean - whoever she's singing to, they probably could live without her. The question is - do they want to? And if they want to, she's better off without them in her life. Additionally, if someone "can't" live without you, they have codependency issues and you really don't want that. In fact, you should probably walk away if they really believe they can't live without you, because that's a dangerous thought for them and for you. That's the kind of thought process that leads to murder-suicides. There is a line from the movie "Rumor Has It" that I really love. Jennifer Aniston's character, Sarah, goes to apologize to her fiance after she royally fucks up. In her apology, she says, "I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to." That's the sweet spot. That's where you want to be.

The video is what you'd expect. Halsey replays an abusive relationship (both good and bad parts) and, by the end, she is able to get away (police intervention is involved). Happy Saturday!

"Without Me" Video