"Maria" by Blondie

I wanted to start of this month by setting the tone. Enter my theme song. Because everyone has - or should have - a theme song. If you don't have one yet, I highly recommend you pick one out. Now, I'm going to be honest, I have a few theme songs - a fair few that I'll be sharing this month - but if I had to have one for the movie of my life, "Maria" would be it. This song was released in 1998 and is considered Blondie's "comeback" song. Debbie Harry was in her 50s when it was recorded, which you can notice in her voice if you're familiar with Blondie's tracks. Her voice is deeper, huskier, and - in many ways - a lot stronger than when she was younger. When Blondie was first started - and you can really tell this in "Heart of Glass" - Harry would sing in a breathier voice, not exercising her full range. This was en vogue during the 60s and 70s - the breathy, babydoll voice was considered the feminine ideal and was mimicked by both singers and actresses alike. Women don't really talk like that when they're going about their daily business. That's a fantasy. Who's fantasy? I couldn't tell you.

This song, in my mind, conjures up a lot of Catholic connotations. In my opinion, "Maria" isn't the name of the woman the song is about, it is a prayer to the Virgin Mary. Like, "Maria, this woman is a living, breathing goddess, how can get in her good graces?" The lyrics support my assumption with the exclamation in the chorus, "Ave Maria," which is "Hail Mary!" in Latin. If - like myself - you were raised Catholic, you should be familiar with the "Hail Mary" prayer, which is one of the foundational prayers of the religion. You may also be familiar with the term being used for anything that as a last ditch effort, e.g., a "Hail Mary" pass in football. Anything you're putting all your hope into because, if it doesn't work, it's the end of the line. And if you're really desperate, you'll put a whole string of Hail Marys together and pray the Rosary. As of late, I've been revisiting some practices from my Catholic youth. Not everything about Catholicism was terrible - honestly, I loved the ceremony, the music, Jesus' message, and the devotion. I just didn't like the dogma. The "this is how it is....if you believe differently, you're a sinner and you deserve to go to Hell." As I've mentioned, I recently re-read "Eat, Pray, Love," and the prologue mentions Indian mala beads, which are beads you use in meditation where you repeat a mantra 108 times, using the beads as a guide. As you may have noticed, this is very similar to the Catholic Rosary and, indeed, knights from the Crusades brought back the practice from their adventures in the Middle East and incorporated it into their belief system. I've started to do this with my own spiritual practices. You take what works, regardless of the origin, and you incorporate it into your own magic.

I've seen this thing before

In my best friend and the boy next door

Fool for love and fool on fire

Won't come in from the rain

She's oceans running down the drain

Blue as ice and desire

Don't you wanna make her?

Ooh, don't you wanna take her home?

So, the million dollar question - why is this my theme song? Well, to start off, I'm the poster child for "pretty but unapproachable." Even my closest friends have told me that they were afraid to talk to me when they first met me. It's very common for people to tell me that they're surprised how nice I am because I "look like a bitch." And, to sum it all up, my dad has straight up told me I look like I have "fuck off" tattoo'd on my forehead, which is why he doesn't worry about me as much as my sisters. Admittedly, I would agree, I'm the meanest out of the three of us. Which you would think would be against my goal of being as kind as possible, but I firmly believe that the kindest thing you can do for someone is calling them out on their bullshit. I, for one, actually like my RBF (resting bitch face) - because if you're brave enough to get past my death stare, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how nice, caring, friendly, creative, talkative, and intriguing I am. I make it a point to never be what people expect. Ironically, even with this steely exterior, I've never had a problem making friends. Someone usually made the first move to draw me out of my shell. I'd like to think it was always worth the work, even though I know I can be a little "extra" at times.

This song is about a woman who is self-possessed, mysterious yet alluring, and essentially unfuckwithable. No one can own her because she owns herself. Which is the kind of woman I always wanted to be. Which probably says a lot about the kind of woman I am. Anyway, ending this post with a question - What your theme song and why?

"Maria" Video