Back to the Queen of Pentacles - there's something to be said for a woman who writes her own story and can handle herself financially. First, it shows she has ambition, which is always sexy - I always associate the Queen of Pentacles with Capricorn in astrology, because Caps rule over career and business ambitions. The pentacles suit also corresponds to the Element of Earth in tarot, so really, it could stand for any of the Earth signs: Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus. On a side note, Ariana Grande is a Cancer - Capricorn's sister sign - which makes sense because both signs put a lot of importance of financial security. They just rule over different domains (Cancer is all about home and family; Capricorn is all about career). Both are fucking boss bitches, if their energies are channeled positively.
Second, being able to support yourself financially allows you more freedom to make your own choices. And I, personally, like that freedom - when I first came to Texas and didn't have a job, I was so anxious. I held temporary job for a couple weeks until I started at my current place of employment, simply for the few hundred dollars I could make. Keep in mind that I probably didn't need to get a job right away - after I paid my student loans off (which I did as quickly as possible), the majority of my pay from my previous job went into my savings and I had a fairly comfortable cushion. But, it was important to me that I be able to contribute to our household. Now, if I want to buy something, I just buy it because it's my money. I'll usually tell The Husband, as a courtesy, regardless of how much I spent (I have relatively cheap tastes - most of my "luxury" items are books, witchcraft nonsense, and vinyl records) but as long as we have enough money in the joint to take care of the necessities, I don't worry about it too much. (Yes, we have separate accounts, in addition to the joint - this is highly recommended by financial goddess, Suze Orman, because you can't predict the future and will keep you from being stuck in a tough position if things go sideways). Which leads me to my final point....
I rarely feel guilty or worry about spending money on anything. If I can't afford it or don't absolutely need to have it, I don't buy it. It's that simple. The only thing I really have any qualms about is luxury services, like haircuts and massages. This is more about feeling I'm not deserving, something I've struggled with for a lifetime and that I'm slowly getting over. However, overall, I find that knowing that I've earned my abundance makes it easier to enjoy it. In the grand scheme of things, I'm very aware of how lucky my life has been and am super grateful for everything I have. That doesn't mean I don't wish I had more or wish things were better, but I can appreciate where I am now and what it took to get here.
Yeah, breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles
Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble
Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines
Buy myself all of my favorite things (Yeah)
Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch
Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?
Rather be tied up with calls and not strings
Write my own checks like I write what I sing, yeah (Yeah)
My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossin'
Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'
You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it
I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (Yeah)
In summation, having control over your destiny means being able to make things happen on your own. Yes, this may mean going to a 9-to-5 job every day. Or, maybe it means that, in addition to being a killer housewife, you also have side projects going or volunteer regularly. My mom hasn't worked for more than a decade, but she does volunteer with NAMI and a couple of local museums. Channeling your energy into something outside of yourself gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel more connected, which ultimately makes you a happier person. And that's ultimately what the Queen of Pentacles is about - being able to take care of yourself and create happiness in your own life so that you are fulfilled enough to give to those you love. Because you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first.
On that note, I'm going to share a book recommendation from a writer I follow on Twitter. Her name is Chidera Eggerue (she goes by Slumflower) and she wrote "What a Time to Be Alone." The book talks a lot about knowing your worth, learning to not allow other's demons to feed your own insecurities, and how loving yourself is the most important thing if you want your other relationships to survive. Her tweets can be kind of controversial - she's been dragged for quotes that some would consider "gold digging." But, personally, I don't consider being called a gold digger an insult. I think wanting the best for yourself and going after it is a valuable trait and was essential to women's survival in the past. For some women, this evolutionary desire is exercised through attracting a wealthy, stable partner; for me (and many others), it means staying focused on career ambitions. Neither choice is superior, they're just different. Sorry (not sorry) if that makes me a bad feminist.
Finally - and this goes without saying - this song is totally my 2019 goals.
"7 Rings" Video
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