"Downtown" by Majical Cloudz

I've probably mentioned this before but my favorite Major Arcana in tarot is "The Star." It comes immediately after "The Tower" and there's a reason for that. The only way to survive the Tower crumbling and falling apart is having faith that you can rebuild whatever was destroyed. Not only rebuild, but make it greater than it ever was. With that in mind, I found myself ruminating on the difference between faith and hope. I've decided that hope is more uncertain and comes with expectations. Because it comes with expectations, we're always looking for confirmation, because ultimately, hope is built on shaky foundations. We don't really believe the implausible can happen, even though we really really want it to. Faith, on the other hand, is a deep knowing that something is true - regardless of what reality presents itself as. Some may call this delusion. And, in our darkest moments, faith does feel like delusion - so much so, that most abandon it. To continue believing, in spite of everything you see, you have to keep trusting that little voice inside that keeps telling you what is true. Because faith shatters your expectations altogether. Given this, I struggle with the balance between hope and faith. I wonder which one I really have.

I've been watching "The OA," which I highly recommend. There's been a recent fight to get Netflix to make more seasons, and I can understand why. It is good. So good. However, the premise requires an open mind. It addresses those questions of faith and hope and what happens after we die. Are we more than a brain trapped within the confines of a body? In order watch "The OA" and take in the message it has to offer, you have to be able to suspend what you know and have to be willing to accept that there's so much we don't know. In fact, that's the entire concept of the show, as far as I've watched. I'm going to try not to give away too much, but the show is about a woman (who calls herself The OA) who has escaped being held prisoner and she's trying to save the people she was imprisoned with. Including a man she loves dearly. In order to save them, she has to use her knowledge of the world beyond, which she gained during a series of Near Death Experiences (NDE). But her plan requires bringing others into the fold. Others who have already been jaded by life, even though most of them are so young. And she has to make them believe.

Faith is an essential component of The Hero's Journey because, inevitably, the Hero will face a tower moment where all their beliefs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations seem impossibly out of reach. It's usually after the first big battle of their journey. They've already gone through a major transformation for the better but they go into the battle arrogant. They've let their ego run the show and for that, they've faced a major defeat. Their perception of their identity has now been completely destroyed. They are nothing and no one once again. And they must answer those uncomfortable questions that have been looming since the beginning of their journey - questions only they can answer. Am I really on the side of good? Does magic exist or is it all in my head? Is True Love even real? Was it worth leaving the comfort of home? Do I have what it takes to accomplish my mission? They have been swallowed up by the void, consumed in total darkness. In order to get out, they have to believe that there will be a light if they keep going. Even though they can't see it, they have to know it's there. And in a situation where they could literally go any direction, the truth is that the only way you can go is forward. You can't erase past - honestly, the past might as well not exist. All that matters is what the Hero chooses to do in this moment. It might take a long time but the Hero eventually takes a leap of faith (his second on the journey) and puts one foot in front of the other.

There's one thing I'll do

If it ever goes wrong

I'll write you into my all of my songs

And if suddenly I die

I hope they will say

That he was obsessed and it was okay

'Cause we're going downtown

And we feel like running around

Is it really this fun when you're on my mind

Is it really this cool to be in your life

This song accompanied the climax of "The OA's" fifth episode. This episode was especially emotionally charged, for several reasons. Over the first few episodes, a connection between The OA and another prisoner (Homer) has been building. It's a weird type of intimacy because they begin as strangers. She can't even see him in the beginning, because she's blind. They have no privacy and, just because of the situation, they are forced to be vulnerable. They can't even touch each other but they become closer than most couples. They don't owe each other anything, they haven't promised each other anything, but the unspoken understanding is there. Unfortunately, in this episode, there comes a point where Homer seemingly betrays The OA, which is what their captor wanted. To break The OA's spirit, because her strength is keeping the other prisoners going. Until this point, it seems that OA derives her hope from Homer, so his betrayal hurts her deeply. Make no mistake - she has been broken. And she's forced to see through her hope, to recognize that he's just another human, and that they are in a truly impossible situation. The OA is finally met with her greatest failure, her most keenly felt weakness. At this point, she must decide if everything she's learned in her NDEs is a delusion or something more. It takes a moment but she continues working on her mission to escape. At first, it seems like she's going through the motions but then her passion rebuilds. Then, in a symbolic gesture of apology and to reassure her that she isn't crazy (that she's not the only one who fell in love), Homer joins her in working through the plan. And, at the end of the episode, they make a miracle happen. Together. The magic that they create inspires faith in the other prisoners that there is a way out of their prison.

The entire show is intensely metaphysical and I've derived some very beautiful lessons out of it thus far. Truths I very much needed to be reminded of. I find myself in the unenviable position of being deep in the wilderness. Deeper than I've ever been before, if that's possible. It's never been this hard for me to rustle up the purity of intention needed to power through the thicket before me. I will, though. It's just taking a minute. On the bright side, I did discover that "The 10th Kingdom" is available on Amazon Prime so I've taken a brief break from watching "The OA" to enjoy something a little lighter for a moment. 

"Downtown" Video

"Hand in My Pocket" by Alanis Morissette

I've been feeling stressed out lately. For a myriad of reasons. The house is a mess. Work is unseasonably busy. My current world is chaos and there's so much to do that I find myself at that point where I'm so overwhelmed I literally don't know where to start. When stressed out, it feels like I have no brain cells at all. And worse, no creativity either. Everything I write sounds like shit to me (and, yes, this post does too, so my apologies). But, as I've said, I hear messages in music and Alanis is one of those artists who I always resonated with. "Jagged Little Pill" came out when I was 8 years old. I grew up on this shit so, please, inject it straight into my veins. Morissette was only like 20 years old when the album came out and it ended up winning Album of the Year at the Grammies, the youngest artist to win that award...until Taylor Swift won it 2010.

I'm broke but I'm happy, I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded, I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine

'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

"Hand in My Pocket" is about embracing the contradictions within yourself and your life, and just letting things be. It ain't that serious. Even when it seems like it is. It's one of the more light-hearted, humorous songs on the album, which might be why I've always liked it. Humor - or, at least, the ability to see the humor in dark situations - has always carried me through life. I've also made it a practice to accept that I have always been a bundle of opposing forces. I can't just be one thing, because I feel like I'm everything at the same time. Always. It's infuriating. Sometimes, I wish I could focus enough to be just really great at one thing, but then something else catches my attention. Always the Pathological Generalist. But I find that this also makes me really good at talking with people, because I always know at least a little bit about whatever the other person is interested in (at least enough to be dangerous) to get the conversation started. There's a positive and a negative side to everything. Some days, it's just harder to focus on the positive. That's a skill you have to take time to master, even if you're naturally good at it because, man, sometimes feeling bad feels oh so good. And it's a great excuse. But, I'm trying not to rely on excuses any more, because I know better - when you're a person who genuinely has the ability to regulate their mood well, your emotional state really does become a choice and you start realizing that - most of the time - the thing that's making you unhappy is you.

I bought an oracle deck called "Threads of Fate," which is specifically designed for doing shadow work. To be honest, I prefer oracle decks to tarot cards - I understand the mechanics and symbolism of tarot, I just don't really feel anything unless the artwork deviates greatly from the traditional symbolism (the only tarot deck I really resonate with is The Slutist Tarot, and that artwork is very obviously non-traditional). Oracle cards are different. I feel like oracle cards are more like introspective conversation starters. You're not asking the cards a question, they are asking you. The first card I pulled from the Threads of Fate deck was the Paradox card, which addressed this idea of non-duality. Some people really struggle with this idea and society has a tendency to reinforce duality. If you are successful, that means you can't be lazy. If you're highly intelligent and rational, you can't be emotional and illogical. There's a heavy emphasis on permanence, but ultimately, permanence is an illusion. Everything is temporary, everything is always in a state of flux, including your being. And yet, at your core, you are always you. These aren't competing ideas - it's just how things are. In order to embrace non-dualism, we have to embrace transformation. Embrace change. And embrace how things are in the present moment and not fight to keep things the same as how they were in the past. It sucks, because - due to the way our brains work - the past can seem deceivingly nice and warm and fuzzy. So we cling to it because we think that if we hold onto it, life will be that way again. That's just not how life works. Every moment is different. Even if it seems familiar, there's something unique in each minute and second that can never be regained. It's important to stop and recognize this from time to time. And take note of how you're feeling, too, because that will tell you everything about what direction you need to go.

I'm free but I'm focused, I'm green but I'm wise

I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing, I'm brave but I'm chicken shit

I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

I hope July ends soon. Honestly, I'm ready for it to be 2020 already, because this year has been both taking forever to get through and yet going way too fast. Another one of those contradictions that makes things feel chaotic. I know it's not, though. There is a plan and a pattern, and it will make sense when it's all said and done. "I open at the close." Just gotta keep meditating and plodding along with faith in my path. And, as Alanis said...Everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine. 

"Hand in My Pocket" Video

"Rivers and Roads" by The Head and the Heart

This is a continuation of my Scorpio rant from the other day, because I forgot some stuff that I wanted to include. As I said, Scorpio's ruler is Pluto, the Roman God of Death. In the tarot deck, all the Major Arcana have astrological correspondences. The Death card corresponds with Scorpio and, just like the sign, it is often misunderstood. Everything comes in cycles. The days, the seasons, the years. Life in general. To be trite and quote Semisonic, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." This is what the Death card symbolizes. We have to release something to be reborn. It's about transformation. The last full moon was an opportunity to release what is no longer serving you, letting go of what isn't meant for you, in order to fully embrace what's ahead. It's important to remember you're always changing - who you are right now is different from who you were a year ago, a week ago, even a minute ago. In order to move forward, sometimes you have to forgive and forget the past. You have to be willing to let go of who you were, to become who you're meant to be. We remain unfinished until the very end. Only then does the pattern fully appear.

Since we're already talking about moon magic, we're now in a waning cycle up until the next new moon, which is the best time to do shadow work. It's about uncovering the darkness and disappointments, the regrets and fear, and then letting them go in order to move onto the next stage. I picked "Rivers and Roads," because the song is ultimately about accepting and embracing change, even if it hurts a bit. Going back to our archetypes, we'll begin with my old standby, The Hero's Journey, with some tarot knowledge thrown in. Remember, the Hero is always thrown into his journey unsuspecting and - sometimes - unwilling to go forward. Until something gives him just a little push (because everybody needs that little push). He begins as the Fool, starting with a leap of faith into a new beginning. I won't go through all the Major Arcana, but the Hero goes through a few stages that can roughly be translated into the symbolism found in the tarot. He has to confront his own rigid ideas or make a choice to commit to something (The Hierophant); he will have to make choices - and the right choice will always be to follow what his heart (or intuition) is telling him; and eventually, he'll reach a point where he just has to stop and reassess (The Hermit). The Death card is right in the middle of Major Arcana, immediately preceded by The Hanged Man. The Hanged Man symbolizes a need to see something from a different point of view and often, this is what spurs the rebirth of the Hero. It is all leading up to the first major conflict, which always seems like a defeat (The Tower). But usually, that's just a "come to Jesus" moment, which is why The Star follows - trusting in Faith, Hope, and your own inner guidance. This is what will fortify him for the final battle and his ultimate triumph (Judgement). And finally, he can return home and rest until his next adventure begins (The World).

Nothing is as it has been

And I miss your face like Hell

And I guess it's just as well

But I miss your face like Hell

For today, let's talk about how we embrace change. It has a lot to do about how we handle past disappointments and regrets. Do we dwell on them? Do we consciously incorporate the lessons we learn as we go forward? Or do we let them color how we approach life?

• Think about your biggest regret. Why do is it a regret? Is it something you didn't do that you wanted to? Was it a mistake you wish you could take back? Whatever it is, only think about it for a moment....and then forgive yourself. Something that came to me while watching "Avenger's Endgame" was that we can't truly correct mistakes. Sometimes, we can try to put things back the way they were. But they still happened and thus, everything is changed anyway. Dwelling on the past won't un-do it. It just keeps us from enjoying the present.
• How do you approach your day? Negatively? Positively? Neutral? As an experiment, set an intention for a couple of days that you're going to enjoy your day, regardless of what happens. Record how you feel after the experiment is over. Our expectations color how we experience our life - so if you think it's going to be the same shit everyday, that's how it will be.
• Are you actively cultivating change within your own life? Such as trying new things, meeting new people, getting out of your comfort zone for a moment or two. Growth happens during the uncomfortable times - when life just keeps throwing you curve balls. If things have gotten a bit mundane, maybe it's time to force a small change, just to get the ball rolling.

While writing this, I've been contemplating the meaning of this song. It's about how time and distance doesn't always dull the pain associated with losing touch with the people we love in our lives. Some wounds just don't heal. You just get used to living with the dull ache. An example would be like our childhood friends whom we were once so close to have become strangers as life has taken us down different paths. I'm one of those people who wonders how people are doing, even if we haven't talked for years. Even decades. Growing up a military brat, goodbyes were something I feel like I got way too good at. I feel envious of people who can say they're still close with their childhood best friend. I've had many "best friends" over the years, but none of them were permanent, none of them were forever. Forever isn't a real thing, though. Permanence is an illusion, I've learned, so I've grown to accept that things change, relationships change, in spite of what we want. But I still think of them all fondly and hope their lives are going well.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” - Paulo Coelho

"Rivers and Roads" Video

"7 Rings" by Ariana Grande

This song has major Queen of Pentacles energy. In the tarot, the Queen of Pentacles is the embodiment of the independent woman - she's able to bring whatever material wealth she needs or want into existence. She is a master of material success and, if she wants, she can have any luxury she wants. Ariana Grande definitely fits this description at the moment - as the first solo artist to hold the Top 3 spots on the Billboard 100 simultaneously (only the Beatles have done that previously), she is enjoying a level of success that most musical acts only ever dream of. Grande has come a long way from being the ditzy space cadet on "Victorious" - to be fair, though, she was the best character on that show. My work bro tried to drag this song because she sampled the melody of "My Favorite Things" heavily for this song, but I wouldn't allow it. Rappers and R&B artists sample/copy shit all the time, but when a pop artist does it, it's distasteful? Nuh uh, ain't happening. Nothing is original, it's all about how you put existing elements together in a new way that defines creativity. And a catchy hit is a catchy hit, regardless of how you feel about its creation story.

Back to the Queen of Pentacles - there's something to be said for a woman who writes her own story and can handle herself financially. First, it shows she has ambition, which is always sexy - I always associate the Queen of Pentacles with Capricorn in astrology, because Caps rule over career and business ambitions. The pentacles suit also corresponds to the Element of Earth in tarot, so really, it could stand for any of the Earth signs: Capricorn, Virgo, or Taurus. On a side note, Ariana Grande is a Cancer - Capricorn's sister sign - which makes sense because both signs put a lot of importance of financial security. They just rule over different domains (Cancer is all about home and family; Capricorn is all about career). Both are fucking boss bitches, if their energies are channeled positively.

Second, being able to support yourself financially allows you more freedom to make your own choices. And I, personally, like that freedom - when I first came to Texas and didn't have a job, I was so anxious. I held temporary job for a couple weeks until I started at my current place of employment, simply for the few hundred dollars I could make. Keep in mind that I probably didn't need to get a job right away - after I paid my student loans off (which I did as quickly as possible), the majority of my pay from my previous job went into my savings and I had a fairly comfortable cushion. But, it was important to me that I be able to contribute to our household. Now, if I want to buy something, I just buy it because it's my money. I'll usually tell The Husband, as a courtesy, regardless of how much I spent (I have relatively cheap tastes - most of my "luxury" items are books, witchcraft nonsense, and vinyl records) but as long as we have enough money in the joint to take care of the necessities, I don't worry about it too much. (Yes, we have separate accounts, in addition to the joint - this is highly recommended by financial goddess, Suze Orman, because you can't predict the future and will keep you from being stuck in a tough position if things go sideways). Which leads me to my final point....

I rarely feel guilty or worry about spending money on anything. If I can't afford it or don't absolutely need to have it, I don't buy it. It's that simple. The only thing I really have any qualms about is luxury services, like haircuts and massages. This is more about feeling I'm not deserving, something I've struggled with for a lifetime and that I'm slowly getting over. However, overall, I find that knowing that I've earned my abundance makes it easier to enjoy it. In the grand scheme of things, I'm very aware of how lucky my life has been and am super grateful for everything I have. That doesn't mean I don't wish I had more or wish things were better, but I can appreciate where I am now and what it took to get here.

Yeah, breakfast at Tiffany's and bottles of bubbles

Girls with tattoos who like getting in trouble

Lashes and diamonds, ATM machines

Buy myself all of my favorite things (Yeah)

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch

Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage?

Rather be tied up with calls and not strings

Write my own checks like I write what I sing, yeah (Yeah)

My wrist, stop watchin', my neck is flossin'

Make big deposits, my gloss is poppin'

You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it

I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (Yeah)

In summation, having control over your destiny means being able to make things happen on your own. Yes, this may mean going to a 9-to-5 job every day. Or, maybe it means that, in addition to being a killer housewife, you also have side projects going or volunteer regularly. My mom hasn't worked for more than a decade, but she does volunteer with NAMI and a couple of local museums. Channeling your energy into something outside of yourself gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel more connected, which ultimately makes you a happier person. And that's ultimately what the Queen of Pentacles is about - being able to take care of yourself and create happiness in your own life so that you are fulfilled enough to give to those you love. Because you can't love someone else unless you love yourself first.

On that note, I'm going to share a book recommendation from a writer I follow on Twitter. Her name is Chidera Eggerue (she goes by Slumflower) and she wrote "What a Time to Be Alone." The book talks a lot about knowing your worth, learning to not allow other's demons to feed your own insecurities, and how loving yourself is the most important thing if you want your other relationships to survive. Her tweets can be kind of controversial - she's been dragged for quotes that some would consider "gold digging." But, personally, I don't consider being called a gold digger an insult. I think wanting the best for yourself and going after it is a valuable trait and was essential to women's survival in the past. For some women, this evolutionary desire is exercised through attracting a wealthy, stable partner; for me (and many others), it means staying focused on career ambitions. Neither choice is superior, they're just different. Sorry (not sorry) if that makes me a bad feminist.

Finally - and this goes without saying - this song is totally my 2019 goals.

"7 Rings" Video

"The Love Letter" by Blaqk Audio

This song was in the trailer for "The Eye." It's a horror movie starring Jessica Alba. I'm pretty sure it's a remake of either a Japanese or Korean horror movie (both countries make fantastically fucked up horror films). Basically, a blind woman gets a cornea transplant and begins seeing ghosts. To find out why, she goes searching for her donor. It sounded like a cool idea but I never got around to seeing it. I'm not a big fan of Alba - she's kind of a shit actor. There's a reason you don't see her in big movies anymore.

"The Love Letter" is a good song to run to if you're doing interval training. You jog during the verses, which are pretty low tempo. Then, during the chorus, you run as fast as you can. The last part of the song, you're just running as fast as possible for as long as possible. I try. I'm more of an endurance runner but when I get up to speed, I can sprint pretty fast. Well, it feels pretty fast to me. My heart and lungs burn quite a bit when I stop, so I must be doing something right. In the past, they would do that to horses. Make them go as fast as possible for as long as possible, until the horse dropped dead. Then, they'd just find another horse. I feel like there's a metaphor for my life in there somewhere.

I'm tired and my brain isn't really in tune for lyrics interpretation, but I think it's about the things left unsaid. It's nice that people can't read your mind because they might not like what they find. But holding in things - emotions, secrets, thoughts - can be dangerous. As the song says, it turns into poison running through your veins and you're left cold as stone. Maybe that's what some people want. Would they even notice, though? One day, you're just a soulless shell but it doesn't matter, because you didn't exist to them anyway. People only see what they want to see.

Once it meant something to me.

I find it rather stunning.

I draped it in cold and clarity.

It's true, I find the look becoming.

Walk right through me, I'm not really there.

My daily tarot readings have been showing that I'm probably holding in my emotions. Weirdly enough, where I am in a lot of my spiritual books center around how important it is to express yourself in order to be the most authentic version of you. But that's just how I am - I play things close to the chest because I know how people are. Being honest with them just gives them ammunition to hurt you - and they will, even if they don't mean to. Then this morning, I got the seven of swords, the potential meanings for which are betrayal and deception. The question is - is someone betraying or deceiving me or am I deceiving/betraying myself? Probably me. That seems to be one of my favorite things to do. Lying to myself, telling myself (and everyone else) everything is "fine" when it isn't. Pretending things aren't there when they are. Kind of like in "The Eye" - the ghosts are there for everyone to see, it's just that most people aren't really looking.

Anyway, I convinced my friend/coworker to add this to his Halloween mix and he really liked it. He liked all my suggestions, actually. I don't know why but he seemed surprised that I had good taste. Probably because I don't share that sort of stuff at work. Or even with people I consider casual friends, apparently. My friend did some research and apparently the singer for Blaqk Audio is also the lead singer for AFI. No wonder I like it. Well, I'm in a dark mood and I feel like "The Love Letter" fits for tonight.

"The Love Letter" Video

"Changes" by David Bowie

Continuing with this theme of letting go and moving on, "Changes" felt appropriate today after I pulled my daily tarot card. Yes, I've started doing a daily tarot reading for myself. I'm not sure I'm doing it right and I don't know all the meanings of all the cards, but I'm trying to incorporate it into my daily practice. A lot of witches and pagans whom I follow and admire - Gordon White, Gabriela Herstik, and Sophie Saint Thomas, just to name a few - use it in their daily practice and recommend doing it for clarity and strengthening of will, so I thought I'd give it a try. I'm also trying to get more familiar with my deck. It's the Wildwood Tarot and it's the first deck I bought for myself - I was attracted to the forest imagery and the idea of the Wild Hunt. My first deck was Aleister Crowley's Thoth tarot, which I found in our garage during my junior year of high school. That Halloween, I went to a party as a fortune teller and tried my hand at giving readings. Not as convincing when you have to refer back to the book constantly. I find all sorts of cool shit in my parents' garage - astrology books, tarot decks, Soviet officer hats, medical text books - most of which is just waiting for me to come steal it back.

Back to what I was talking about - I pulled The Journey this morning and it just confirmed what I was already feeling. That it's time to stop being scared and embrace the things that are changing in my life, even if that means letting go of things I once loved. Old patterns, behaviors, and thoughts that don't serve me anymore need to die. And I'm starting to think about how to gently extract myself from past entanglements that I got myself caught up in because I was too afraid to disappoint someone by saying, "No....I don't want this." One thing in particular that came to the surface was my current career path. Yesterday, I applied for a civilian position, which is something I've been wanting to do for years but didn't because, well, I didn't think I was good enough to be selected. For years, I've had this fear that, if I left my current job, I wouldn't be able to get anything better. That I'd have to start from the bottom again. But....I'm not a 25-year-old with only one year of real work experience anymore. I was looking at my resume when I was finished tailoring my bullets and I was like, "Damn girl, you're more qualified than your boss." And when I asked my supervisor if I could use him as a reference, he told me the same thing. He also told me that I shouldn't be held down to the idea of staying at the same organization I'm currently at, even if it's an option, because I have so much more potential than that. And he was right. I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone, even though it's scary, because there's so much more good I can do somewhere else. That's the only way you grow, by trying something new, even if you might fail.

I'm trying to do that more - going to new classes, signing up for challenges I'm not exactly sure I can conquer, embracing aspects of myself that I was afraid to let free because others might think I'm weird. That's another part of this - not caring what people think anymore. Including my family. If I want to dance or sing in public, or wear a crop-top sweater with "Witch" emblazoned across the front (which I do own...it's my favorite sweater and I never wear it because of what people might think but you know....fuck it, it's my favorite fucking sweater), I'm going to do it. Because it's what I want. I've been doing this energy clearing guided meditation every morning - another part of my daily practice - and I find that I'm in a better mindset after I do it. Contrariwise, if I don't do it, I find my spirit is all mucked up until I do. I also got a new journal to do my shadow work and for doing manifestation journaling (something I learned about last night on the internet). I'm looking forward to it. And I'm ready for whatever comes on this path that the Universe is telling me to follow.

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

And so the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

I know that rant had almost nothing to do with the song. But this blog was always more about exercising (intentional misspelling) my demons through music, anyway. Besides, y'all just came here for some awesome David Bowie music. I miss him - I shed a tear (or several) when he died, because he was such a big part of my childhood. My first celebrity crush, my introduction into the world of glam rock and concept albums, just an amazing and brave person in general. He was really something special.

"Changes" Video