"I Don't Wanna Live Forever" by Taylor Swift and ZAYN

I love duets like this, when you get both points of view and, of course, they're weirdly mirrored. And it makes you wonder - why can't these two people work it out? If they want to be with each other so much, why don't they do what they need to do to make it happen? Of course, I don't know what the problem between the two people in the song is. It sounds like she feels like she's giving him everything and she's getting nothing back. And he realizes he's doing this and he doesn't know why, because he wants to give her everything, too. So what's stopping him? I know that answer could be incredibly complicated, so I'm trying to suspend judgement. Because, honestly, there's two people making a choice in this song.

Both are hoping that the other will call (or text) but not making the first move themselves. What are they afraid of? That the other person doesn't feel the same? That it's really over? Or worse, it's not over but maybe it should be. And that's what will haunt them - that they ended things too soon, because of petty obstacles. My favorite lyric in this song is "Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life." Isn't that the worst feeling? Knowing that there's so many things wrong (or one major thing) with a relationship but knowing that you love the other person so much and you want to be with them anyway, no matter what happens. I like to think that Love conquers all but when I say conquer, I mean conquer - it can leave a path of destruction and bodies like nothing else in this world. Romeo and Juliet. Guinevere and Lancelot. Antony and Cleopatra. In all three of these stories, the two people involved loved each other like the moon loves the sun....and their affairs resulted in massive wars and countless lives lost. Although I seem to be making a cynical point, I'm not. In any case, these stories (fictional and historical) have the same lesson - True Love is worth the cost. That being said, given the level of potential destruction, it's probably not for the weak.

I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind

Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life, oh

Baby, baby, I feel crazy

Up all night, all night and every day

I gave you something, but you gave me nothing

What is happening to me?

The chorus always kind of makes me wonder, though. I just want to keep calling your name until you come back home. I'm assuming this sentence is more figurative than literal. Although, it is kind of a funny to imagine they're each on a street corner, in the rain, screaming for each other. Like they're looking for a lost puppy or something. (There's a metaphor in there, I know it...) No, I'm almost certain they're talking about their soul crying out for the other person. As perhaps we all do, when we're in the throes of existential dread. But does the other person hear it? Do they feel it? This has been one of the great metaphysical questions I've been pondering lately. Is it possible to know if someone is thinking of you? Or is it all just wishful thinking? I hope Person X is thinking of me but I have no control over that. No one does. Also, there's also the main theme of the song - they don't want to live forever if it means living without the other person. This makes me think of the book I'm writing, which ruminates on the perils of Immortality for precisely this reason. Immortality is ultimately the curse of loneliness, a curse to live without the ones you love for the majority of your days. As much fun as it would to finish my epic reading list, the prospect of living forever only to watch the people I care most about slip away constantly would be heartbreaking. As you may have guessed, my story ideas don't come from the cheeriest of places.

Speaking of origin stories, this song was specifically formulated to be the theme for "Fifty Shades Darker." I have a confession - I tried to read the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. But I just couldn't - I don't want to judge another's writing but it definitely wasn't for me since I couldn't even finish the first chapter. Trust me, there's better erotica out there, my friends. For instance, I'm reading a historical fantasy series called Kushiel's Legacy by Jacqueline Carey. It takes place in a reimagined Renaissance-period Europe where courtesans are revered as performing a sacred service. It's intriguing and, although her overuse of highfalutin words (most of which I think she made up) can be kind of annoying, I generally like the flowery luxuriousness of the world Carey created. Just a warning - like "Fifty Shades," it's high on the BDSM scale. In the current book I'm reading, Phedre has decided to return to Naamah's service, much to the chagrin of her True Love, Joscelin. Pained by her choice, after he's forsaken all his Cassiline Brotherhood vows for her, he decides to return to celibacy. This, of course, is painful to Phedre because he effectively takes back the love he said he had for her. At least in practice - there's multiple times in the book so far where today's Song du Jour would be quite fitting.

A few words about the video. It follows Zayn Malik - the most attractive former member of One Direction (and the most successful thus far) - and Taylor Swift (looking smolderingly beautiful, as is her custom) roaming around New York after they stopped seeing each other. They both look sad and lonely. But they must stay apart, because that is a disgustingly attractive pairing. However, it must be said that the guys Taylor dates in real life aren't nearly as hot as Malik and it's kind of a shame. She has this tendency to cast really super attractive men in her videos but then she turns around and dates Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer, of all people. All I'm saying is....the poor girl needs an intervention.

"I Don't Wanna Live Forever" Video