Monday, July 30, 2018

"Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande

::WARNING:: This post contains sexual themes and adult content. No pictures, though. Nice try. Get your mind outta the gutter. Also, I am a straight woman, so this post is written from my point of view but I'm pretty sure the ideas/concepts/suggestions would go for any sexual orientation. Except asexual, but I think that's probably obvious at this point. ::END POST::

I'm reading this "Becoming Dangerous" book, which talks about how witchy female/femme-identifying people are dealing with the post-Trump era. A lot of the essays talk about self-care rituals and getting strong and getting prepared to fight. Then other essays talk about getting in touch with your sensuous side, owning your sexuality, etc. They use terms like "slut-magic" and "whore power," encourage wearing sexy lingerie every day, and use the male gaze as a form of personal worship because you're a goddess - all of which I'm down for. Lately, I've been wanting to try out erotic dance and burlesque, and potentially try a pole-dancing class (if I ever have time and can get over my bad self). Since I'm one of those people who believes you can learn anything from reading a book, I bought the S Factor workout book. They have a series of studios where you can learn the workout moves, among other things like pole fitness and traditional burlesque performance. Unfortunately, my current city is not cool enough to have an S Factor studio - I'd like to change that someday, but you gotta walk before you can run. In the book, Sheila Kelly has a bunch of song recommendations to use with the workout. I told you all that to say this - I'm always on the lookout for good stripper songs and "Dangerous Woman" is one the better ones I've heard come out of contemporary pop music.

In the book, Sheila Kelly says to imagine something that makes you feel sexy/sensuous while you're doing the workout. I like to imagine I have an audience when I dance. That probably says something about me, but whatever. That's essentially what the lyrics and the video for "Dangerous Woman" are about. There's a particular man that makes Ariana (and I think every girl probably has at least one) feel sexy by just looking at her. Like a temptress. No matter what she's wearing - although Ariana is wearing lingerie and she looks pretty damn good in it. I wish I looked half as good, but I digress. I highly recommend this visualization exercise, if you're going to dip your toes into erotic dance. Picture a man (or a woman) who you're highly attracted to. The type of (wo)man who makes you want to do anything with/to them if they asked. Where you're always ready to go, because he or she might be ready to go, even if you're kind of mad at them. If he wants a blowjob for his wakeup call every day (which I refer to as a "good morning"), then he's getting a blowjob every morning. He wants sex in the back of the car on a Wednesday, he's getting it. I mean....he did ask nicely, right? I believe this is what they call "method acting," if I recall that correctly from my theatre days - and it would make sense that even burlesque performers use this to get into their routines. So if it works for the professionals, then it would probably work for the average woman trying it out at home.

Oh yeah

Don't need permission
Made my decision to test my limits
'Cause it's my business
God as my witness
Start what I finished
Don't need no hold up
Taking control of this kind of moment
I'm locked and loaded
Completely focused my mind is open
All that you got, skin to skin, oh my God

Don't ya stop, boy
Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman

Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you
Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't
Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

Let's talk about the video - nothing special, just Ariana Grande looking hella sexy. She's another one that I remember from her child actor days. She was fucking hilarious on "Victorious." I don't think she has a sweet child-like face, like Selena Gomez does. Grande is one of those abnormally gorgeous looking people. To take a brilliant tweet from @DothTheDoth, "if you know someone who looks effortlessly beautiful all the time, that's a demon." Guys.....I'm pretty sure Ariana Grande is a demon. Another thing about this video - the director went through a lot of trouble to make it look like a sex tape. To include the film scratches....which would not be present in a modern sex tape. We put that shit on DVD now, so that wouldn't happen. It kind of gets annoying and almost distracting, and it probably would've been a better choice to just leave those out. But, alas, I am not a music video director, so that's not my choice to make.

"Dangerous Woman" Video

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