"Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne

YouTube is back in my youth again. That's partially my fault....you click on one Britney Spears video and suddenly, you're sent back 10 years in the timeline. Oh well. It's worth it because I like this song. I'm pretty sure everyone does, because it's funny. And it's funny because, apparently, it's true. According to all my guy friends, there was always at least one hot mom you had a crush on. Unfortunately for me, it happened to be....my mom. I am Stacy. Lovely.

Yes, it's true. I had to endure the awkward "your mom is hot" comments, but it's not like I didn't already know it. When I was growing up, I thought my mom was the most beautiful woman in the world. I still think so, sometimes, when looking at old pictures of her. People used to stop and tell me that she looked like a classic movie star. This wasn't a one time thing - this happened several times over the course of my life and I used to find it annoying. I always wished I looked like my mom - and lately, I've been noticing....I kind of do. My hair is still pretty dark (I don't remember my mom having anything beyond a deep auburn hair color) and my face is slightly less angular, but you can definitely see the resemblance more in me than in my sisters. So if I'm doing the math correctly, if my mom was the most beautiful woman in the world 20 years ago and I look like her now, therefore - by the Transitive Property of Equality - I must be the current most beautiful woman in the world? Does that compute? Haha, I doubt it. I'm sure that's some Victoria's Secret supermodel.....but I'll settle for a close second. Not that I want my son to have to endure the awkward comments from his friends but....well, I kind of do. But he's still young - I might look like the Crypt Keeper in 10 to 15 years. I mean, I don't plan on living that hard but who knows?

Of course, the video is hilariously awkward. Stacy's mom ain't no slouch. Sure, she probably got the house in the divorce but she's going on business trips and can afford for a masseuse to come to her house, so I'm pretty sure she's like an executive or something. However, I do think it's questionable for her to come out only wearing a towel when her daughter's friend is around. If my mom did that, I would've been mortified. I have a lot of questions about teenaged boys - mostly because I never was one. For example, is it normal to masturbate in someone else's house? Especially without locking the door first - that just sounds like bad planning. And if a pretty girl like Stacy was clearly into you, would you seriously be thinking about banging her mom? Wouldn't you be trying to get Stacy into bed? Again, sounds like bad planning. And poor prioritization. Hmmm. Yeah, sounds about right for teenaged boys. Everything about my high school years is starting to make sense now.....

"Stacy's Mom" Video