"Over You" by Ingrid Michaelson feat. A Great Big World

This song showed up in one of my playlists at the beginning of November. At the time, it touched me deeply, and is one of the songs that comes to mind in my quieter moments. It's a simple song, lyrics-wise. The beauty is in the layering, especially during the bridge. The composition starts off very organized and restrained, but then devolves into a more emotional arrangement that's a bit messy. A metaphor in musical form. It's fitting as a duet, because you get both sides and, thus, a fuller picture of the story being told. In "Over You," both singers imbue the words with a resolute sadness, like they wish circumstances weren't the way they are but they acknowledge there might not be anything they can do about it.

Over, I'm so over you

The way that you look

In a 3-piece suit

Over, I'm so over you

The way that you held me

Like nobody else would

Maybe if I tell myself enough

Maybe if I do

I'll get over you

Maybe if I tell myself enough

Maybe if I do

I'll get all over

You

You can't force yourself to get over someone or something. I say that as a person who deals with hard feelings by powering through them. "It's going to be okay" and "I'll be fine" are my perpetual mantras. But what if...wait for it...that's not true? This is classic avoidance. I know it is. I'm not delusional. It's ignoring the pain of feelings by pretending a situation doesn't suck or that you don't care as much as you do. It's downplaying and it only delays the inevitable breakdown. With hard emotions (like grief and heartbreak), the only way out is through. That being said, I firmly believe if you're meant to get over something, you will. And it will happen quicker and easier than you think. You won't have to force it by telling yourself it will get better. After I graduated from college (which was 10 years ago this month), I never spoke to the Moviestar or Mr. Nice Guy ever again. And, now that I think of it, I was perfectly okay with that. Sure, I think about them from time to time. But it's never "I miss him" or "I wish I could talk to him." Nope, it's usually "Hmm, I wonder what he's up to." And I check social media to satisfy my curiosity, the moment passes, and I won't have another thought about either of them for months to years. To be honest, I don't even check social media anymore. Because I don't care. It was so easy to not think of them, for a long time, I seriously wondered if I was a sociopath. But the truth is I liked the idea of them more than the actual people they were. There's nothing wrong with this. But at the time, I thought I'd be a lot more crushed by their absence than I was. It was a pleasant surprise.

However, due to the Law of Opposites, it leaves the distinct possibility that there are some things/people we're not meant to get over. These are the times we usually force ourselves to repeat any number of hopeful mantras. It's for the best. There's no other option. It wasn't meant to be. But the truth comes leaking out. In a song or poem buried in a journal. On a public typewriter. Scrawled on the bathroom wall in a bar. Or in a tweet written at 3am somewhere in L.A. The latter situation is what Ariana Grande does often, when she's missing Mac Miller. There's been a lot of Mac Miller on my feed lately because his birthday is coming up soon. He died in September 2018, shortly after he and Ariana broke up and she got engaged to Pete Davidson. That was a kneejerk reaction, though. Getting engaged immediately after breaking up with someone you had described as the love of your life is one of those avoidance tactics, to prove you're over the other person. The engagement didn't last after Miller died. Don't get me wrong - Grande broke up with Miller because he was an addict and she couldn't watch him destroy himself, but I don't think she wanted to. I think she thought he'd choose her over his addiction and was devastated when he didn't. He was devastated too - he broke his own heart and went into a downward spiral, which led to his death. That's not on her, of course. However, she probably thinks of him occasionally (maybe often) and wishes circumstances had been different. It's important to note that this song ends with the chorus but it doesn't finish it. The song ends before the words "I'll get over you," leaving the future on an ambiguous note. We can never know the depths of one's heart, not even our own. Sometimes, we only ever get a "maybe" and we have to be at peace with that.

I've set this post to publish at the exact time of the solar eclipse in Capricorn. In magic and astrology, eclipses hold immense power to bring much needed change into our lives. However, you're not supposed to actively manifest during an eclipse - due to the energy being so chaotic - as it may bring in unintended consequences. It's a time to just be. To release resistance (because resistance holds you back) and stop trying to make things fit when they don't. To surrender to whatever the Universe has in store for us until the next eclipse (in June). A moment of accepting where you are, good or bad, even if you're not able to do anything about it, because the world will turn again soon and faster than you think. This eclipse is opposite my Venus and Mercury and the next Lunar eclipse (on Jan 10) will be conjunct these placements, so that sounds fun. Just kidding - it's not, astrologically speaking. Oppositions are generally challenging but conjunctions can be harmonious, so I'm just going to assume the next 6 months are going to a mixed bag and be okay with it. And, really, that's all anyone can hope for.

"Over You" Video