Friday, August 19, 2011

5 Great Zombie-Related Songs

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse?  Apparently, according to the CDC, Americans are horribly under-prepared for such a contingency.  To ameliorate this issue, The Boyfriend and his friends (with technical support -- which means the actual event planning and website creation --provided by myself) have planned a Zombie Apocalypse Drill for sometime next spring.  Why next spring instead of right now?  Elementary, Dear Watson!  We're all broke and to be prepared for basically TEOTWAWKI  (acronym for "The End of the World as We Know It" in SurvivorMan speak), we need to acquire the essentials needed for fleeing civilized society.  I've interpreted this as First Aid Kits, camping gear, and honing the necessary survival skills and fitness levels; my male counterparts have focused on the weaponry aspect:  Swords, crossbows, guns, and -- my personal choice -- ninja throwing stars. 

They took away her iPod...Poor thing...

The Zombie Apocalypse is just about everyone's favorite Worst Case Scenario -- mostly because the possibility of it actually happening is slim to zilch.  Everybody has their own plan -- you've heard of the Wal-Mart forts, the fortified shopping malls, the extra homes in Freeze-Your-Ass-Off, Saskatchewan, and the High-Tech McMansions with their Titanium Gates of Flaming Awesomeness.  Personally, I would take the Keep On Moving approach but that's because I don't have children and the people I love are in more-or-less good physical condition.  My question is, though --Does everyone have their own playlist?  I didn't think so....but fret not-- I am here to help.  I'll keep updating on the Zombie Drill situation until it actually happens and will be periodically adding to this playlist but I thought it would be best to start on a solid foundation of zombie-themed songs.  Just 5 for today and, hopefully, they won't be the ones you expected.  Remember:  Even during the Zombie Takeover, the element of surprise is your greatest asset.  Unless the zombies can run.  Then we're all royally f*cked.

  • Zombie Prostitute by Voltaire -- Ah, necrophilia...you'd be surprised how many songs revolve around this macabre subject matter.  I remember the first time I encountered the idea of zombie porn....who am I kidding?  It wasn't just an idea....it was full-out female-on-corpse fraternization played out by actors who were clearly desperate for work!  You guessed it -- it was an episode of Masters of Horror called "Haeckel's Tale."  I bought it without actually knowing what it was about and when I reached the cemetery scene, I was literally screaming out "What is happening?! Oh, My Eyes!!"  Naturally, I had to share this treasure with my equally jaded group of friends.  Listening too closely to the lyrics kind of grosses me out, so just focus on the gypsy-caravan-sounding tune and ignore the ultra vivid descriptions of an undead tryst provided by Voltaire.
  • Walk Like A Zombie by The Horrorpops -- The Horrorpops are one of my favorites and a must-have for your music collection if you like rockabilly/psychobilly/horrorcore.  Very catchy lyrics, awesome music, and great vocals.  I've interpretted the lyrics from the point of view of a girl who loves her creepy boyfriend and will follow him no matter what.  Bonus points for the reference to the Addams family.  Personally, I prefer the TV show versions of Morticia and Gomez over the newer versions.  I think the movies kind of overexaggerated the creepy aspects and you lost the playfulness and love that was obvious between Morticia and Gomez.
  • Zombie by The Pretty Reckless -- A song from the point of view of a zombie....okay, it gets a few of presuppositions about zombies wrong -- I mean, wouldn't a zombie have decomposed after 2,000 years?  Still, it's a track rife with meaning and it goes off the assumption that, if you still retained your memories after being turned, you'd want to eat the brains of every jerk-off that done you wrong.  If that's the case, Washington D.C. better be worried if the dead rise from the grave.  Which reminds me -- Has anyone seen that episode of Masters of Horror called "Homecoming?"  The basic plot is that they are having a recall election for the President (is that even possible?) and all the dead servicemen and women come back from the dead to vote the incumbent out of office.  When it aired, it was at the start of the War on Terrorism, so you can assume that they voted George W. Bush out of office.  I find this hilarious because America does have a vast history of the dead casting votes -- people would vote multiple times using a dead person's identity.  In fact, I think there were even accusations that this happened during the 2000 election but you'd be hardpressed to find any proof.
  • George Romero by The Sprites -- It's not all doom and gloom at the end of the world, though, and who better to acknowledge that then the upbeat indie band, The Sprites.  I, for one, think it's a capital idea to spend the apocalypse catching up on reading and movies.  I'd probably steal quite a bit of stuff for good measure, as well.  Sure, my nonchalante attitude toward the end of the world will probably lead to my demise but -- Hell! -- at least I had a f*cking good time!  Love this song and its adept sampling of scenes from the original "Dawn of the Dead."

  • The Walking Dead by Spinnerette -- If you've heard a sexier song about being a zombie, I'd like to hear it.  First off, it's from the point of you of one of the walking dead.  Second, it's probably not even about being a zombie.  The lyrics actually go a little deeper when you read into them -- being trapped in a situation that's impossible to escape.  Much like the impending doom caused by the undead masses.  I wrote a story that presupposes that we're already living during the zombie apocalypse, we just don't realize this.  When I was going to school, I was really intrigued by the psychology of fear and the reasons why humans find made-up creatures like zombies, vampires, and werewolves frightening.  Usually, the popularity of each of the monsters during every time period is reflective of the society molding pop culture at the time.  If you've seen the Undead episode of "Love, Lust" on Sundance, you can understand the underlying fears behind the face value.  Enough of my tangent....just sit back and enjoy Brody Dalle's sultry voice.

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